Sister in law issues.

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Your husband needs to tell his bitch sister to shut the fuck up.

Like, what in the seven hells is her problem?  Who the fuck says stuff like that to an expecting couple?

Post # 3
Member
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

“90% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage”

Factually incorrect. Once you hit 9 weeks your chances of losing the baby are <5% so I don’t know where the fuck she gets her facts from.

100% she is jealous. It’s not her “looking out” for you or “being the good sister-in-law”. It’s the fact she is jealous of the pregnancy and attention.

Ignore her – she’s just noise.

Post # 4
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Your SIL is being completely inappropriate! Your husband needs to put a stop to her comments. Why is she even doing this? Did someone tell her these things when she was pregnant? It’s just so odd.

Post # 5
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

If she’s had a miscarriage herself in the past I would say she’s saying some of the things out of concern, but “shouldn’t take my prenatal vitamins as they don’t “do anything” and “you really don’t need them.” “? Yeah. No.

Post # 6
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

WHERE is your husband in all this? Him and his family need to tell this b*tch to stfu. My god I can’t believe the words you have written here. I will never understand humans like her!

Post # 7
Member
891 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t be able to stop myself saying directly to her wtf is wrong with you. I’d really like to hear her response 

Post # 8
Member
6794 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m curious to know why people aren’t telling her to shut up AND are also reporting back to you what she’s said. Yes, someone needs to tell her to shut the fuck up. But also – ALLLLLL of these people need to shut up talking to you about all of the above. 

I would start putting down some hardcore boundaries around all of these people (actually around yourself)- if you want to have a peace-filled pregnancy. The next time someone reports back I’d say “Did you tell her that she’s factually incorrect?” “Did you tell her that’s a terrible thing to say and since she’s said it so many times, at this point it almost sounds like she’s wishing for me to have a miscarriage?” and if they say they haven’t said anything I’d be wondering what their motivation is for reporting back to you AND also not calling her on her behavior. They sound like shit stirrers.

I absolutely agree with those saying your husband needs to get on this but also- he’s not necessarily going to know what to say or do for you during pregnancy unless you tell him. So I would tell him he needs to let his whole damn family know that they had better not say BOO to you about pregnancy unless it’s to wish you well and tell you you’re glowing and gorgeous- no horror stories, no concern trolling, no asking about your check ups unless you offer the information, etc. EVERYTHING pregnancy related that they say to you between now and delivery needs to be sunshine and roses or they need to shut their mouths to you. Period.

Post # 9
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

That is really horrible.  Going on and on (incorrectly) about miscarriages is bad enough and sounds like she is projecting from experience. Next time she mentions a miscarriage stat, ask her if she had one and what her experiencewas like. If she hasnt, ask why she thinks what she says is appropriate. Really, any comment that leaves her gaping like fish.  And why are his family members passing these things on? Are they frustrated with her and venting, or do they honestly think they are relaying info.

Get your husband to stand up for you as well. Miscarriage talk now, followed by birth horror stories, followed by incorrect sids stats…. get the boundaries up now and curtail this bull before it follows you everywhere as a parent.

Post # 10
Member
1063 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
rosieposie3 :  sometimes we need to have selective hearing.

Post # 11
Member
3895 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

View original reply
rosieposie3 :  I’d understandably be upset if I were in your shoes. I’m a “good vibes only” type of person and would have no problem telling her that I would not be communicating with her if she planned to keep on talking about a negative outcome for the pregnancy. Now, she may have miscarried (and didn’t make this public knowledge) and thinks that she’s just protecting you and it’s coming from a place of concern, but you could communicate that her constant reminder of the possibility of miscarriage isn’t helping you at all. 

My own SIL is pregnant for the first time and she is older (40s) and was so excited that it finally happened that she told us all as soon as she found out at 5 weeks. Their brother and his wife experienced issues that led to them having IVF for all of their children and they faced a miscarriage, so they weren’t as excited when my SIL shared the news so early. Their reaction could have been taken as rude but we at least understood why they weren’t getting all worked up. 

Post # 12
Member
2242 posts
Buzzing bee

I could somewhat understand her saying that (not condone but at least logically understand) if she had long history of infertility, and pregnancy loss and had jealousy over others pregnancies while she couldn’t…..but she has 2 kids, so wtf is that about. 

Post # 13
Member
2222 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If this is your SIL through your brother, your brother needs to address this. If this is your sister in law through your husband, your husband needs to address this. 

Post # 14
Member
1169 posts
Bumble bee

What a horrible thing to say!!! I can’t believe she said something like that.  It’s damn near unfathomable that she CONTINUES saying things like that.  I would definitely say something and make sure Darling Husband backs you up when you do.  That’s so horrible!

Post # 15
Member
99 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

This is horrible! I have the same issues with my sister in law and it all stems from jealousy. I am 32 years old and have had 3 miscarraiges and had to terminate 1 pregnancy because the baby was not going to survive outside of the womb and I was about to go into organ failure. She CONSTANTLY tells me how she doesnt understand why I cant have a child when she was able to do it at 41 years old no problem. She even stopped talking to us for a year bc she doent believe terminating my pregnancy was the right thing even though the baby and I had a high chance of dying. Its sick that people think this way. My husband has said something to her but people like that dont change. They are just bitter and hate seeing other people int he spotlight. Ignore her – the more you feed into it the more they love it.

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