Post # 1
i can’t even believe I have come to this conclusion but I have and I’m having trouble dealing with it. I’m 9 weeks pregnant at the moment and told our immediate family the news almost right away. Ever since his sister found out we are expecting, she talks about me possibly miscarrying. In fact, the day she found out I was pregnant, she texted my husband saying “tell your wife not to get her hopes up as 90% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage.” I am not even kidding, this is what she said. Even if this were true, I don’t know what would possess a person to say this. I was so devastated that I even asked my doctor if this were true and he couldn’t believe what I was told. My step mother in law saw her the other weekend, and again, I hear she is again, mentioning me miscarrying.. she was saying things like “don’t get too excited, she still could miscarry.” She also told me that I shouldn’t take my prenatal vitamins as they don’t “do anything” and “you really don’t need them.” Another thing, when she heard me and my husband were trying, she told my husband that getting pregnant “takes years” so we shouldnt get our hopes up and shouldn’t try consistently – whatever that means.
i honestly feel like she is upset that I am pregnant or is hoping I miscarry. As far as I know, she’s never miscarried. She has two healthy girls. Should I say something? I’m sick of hearing the word “miscarriage.” I know I’m still in my first trimester and the possibility of miscarriage will always be there, but I’m sick of hearing about it. She’s always been the jealous type, but I honestly never thought she’d be this bad if I got pregnant. What should I do? Should I say something? Have you ever been in this situation??? Help!
Post # 2
Your husband needs to tell his bitch sister to shut the fuck up.
Like, what in the seven hells is her problem? Who the fuck says stuff like that to an expecting couple?
Post # 3
“90% of known pregnancies end in miscarriage”
Factually incorrect. Once you hit 9 weeks your chances of losing the baby are <5% so I don’t know where the fuck she gets her facts from.
100% she is jealous. It’s not her “looking out” for you or “being the good sister-in-law”. It’s the fact she is jealous of the pregnancy and attention.
Ignore her – she’s just noise.
Post # 4
Your SIL is being completely inappropriate! Your husband needs to put a stop to her comments. Why is she even doing this? Did someone tell her these things when she was pregnant? It’s just so odd.
Post # 5
If she’s had a miscarriage herself in the past I would say she’s saying some of the things out of concern, but “shouldn’t take my prenatal vitamins as they don’t “do anything” and “you really don’t need them.” “? Yeah. No.
Post # 6
WHERE is your husband in all this? Him and his family need to tell this b*tch to stfu. My god I can’t believe the words you have written here. I will never understand humans like her!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t be able to stop myself saying directly to her wtf is wrong with you. I’d really like to hear her response
Post # 8
I’m curious to know why people aren’t telling her to shut up AND are also reporting back to you what she’s said. Yes, someone needs to tell her to shut the fuck up. But also – ALLLLLL of these people need to shut up talking to you about all of the above.
I would start putting down some hardcore boundaries around all of these people (actually around yourself)- if you want to have a peace-filled pregnancy. The next time someone reports back I’d say “Did you tell her that she’s factually incorrect?” “Did you tell her that’s a terrible thing to say and since she’s said it so many times, at this point it almost sounds like she’s wishing for me to have a miscarriage?” and if they say they haven’t said anything I’d be wondering what their motivation is for reporting back to you AND also not calling her on her behavior. They sound like shit stirrers.
I absolutely agree with those saying your husband needs to get on this but also- he’s not necessarily going to know what to say or do for you during pregnancy unless you tell him. So I would tell him he needs to let his whole damn family know that they had better not say BOO to you about pregnancy unless it’s to wish you well and tell you you’re glowing and gorgeous- no horror stories, no concern trolling, no asking about your check ups unless you offer the information, etc. EVERYTHING pregnancy related that they say to you between now and delivery needs to be sunshine and roses or they need to shut their mouths to you. Period.
Post # 9
That is really horrible. Going on and on (incorrectly) about miscarriages is bad enough and sounds like she is projecting from experience. Next time she mentions a miscarriage stat, ask her if she had one and what her experiencewas like. If she hasnt, ask why she thinks what she says is appropriate. Really, any comment that leaves her gaping like fish. And why are his family members passing these things on? Are they frustrated with her and venting, or do they honestly think they are relaying info.
Get your husband to stand up for you as well. Miscarriage talk now, followed by birth horror stories, followed by incorrect sids stats…. get the boundaries up now and curtail this bull before it follows you everywhere as a parent.
Post # 10
sometimes we need to have selective hearing.
Post # 11
- Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY
I’d understandably be upset if I were in your shoes. I’m a “good vibes only” type of person and would have no problem telling her that I would not be communicating with her if she planned to keep on talking about a negative outcome for the pregnancy. Now, she may have miscarried (and didn’t make this public knowledge) and thinks that she’s just protecting you and it’s coming from a place of concern, but you could communicate that her constant reminder of the possibility of miscarriage isn’t helping you at all.
My own SIL is pregnant for the first time and she is older (40s) and was so excited that it finally happened that she told us all as soon as she found out at 5 weeks. Their brother and his wife experienced issues that led to them having IVF for all of their children and they faced a miscarriage, so they weren’t as excited when my SIL shared the news so early. Their reaction could have been taken as rude but we at least understood why they weren’t getting all worked up.
Post # 12
I could somewhat understand her saying that (not condone but at least logically understand) if she had long history of infertility, and pregnancy loss and had jealousy over others pregnancies while she couldn’t…..but she has 2 kids, so wtf is that about.
Post # 13
If this is your SIL through your brother, your brother needs to address this. If this is your sister in law through your husband, your husband needs to address this.
Post # 14
What a horrible thing to say!!! I can’t believe she said something like that. It’s damn near unfathomable that she CONTINUES saying things like that. I would definitely say something and make sure Darling Husband backs you up when you do. That’s so horrible!
Post # 15
This is horrible! I have the same issues with my sister in law and it all stems from jealousy. I am 32 years old and have had 3 miscarraiges and had to terminate 1 pregnancy because the baby was not going to survive outside of the womb and I was about to go into organ failure. She CONSTANTLY tells me how she doesnt understand why I cant have a child when she was able to do it at 41 years old no problem. She even stopped talking to us for a year bc she doent believe terminating my pregnancy was the right thing even though the baby and I had a high chance of dying. Its sick that people think this way. My husband has said something to her but people like that dont change. They are just bitter and hate seeing other people int he spotlight. Ignore her – the more you feed into it the more they love it.