(Closed) Sister In Law of the Groom…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I had a similar situation.  I had asked her to be in the wedding but regretted it because we aren’t close.  I recently downsized the whole wedding and thus the wedding party and everyone understood that they’d be “honorary bridesmaids”.  What about just inviting her to hang out? I just personally don’t like the idea of people being in the wedding simply because of their current status.  I understand the feeling left out though so just try to make her feel included.  

Post # 4
Member
3671 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

In my case also, when it was a bigger bridal party, I had a man of honor (my brother) and three bridesmaids and I was told that because she was family she should be second in my line.  As I said, I don’t think just being family means you will hold the title if you aren’t close.

Post # 5
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I had a similar situation where I was not sure if I should have my future sister in laws as bridesmaids. I decided that even though we are not that close, I would have FIs sister as a bridesmaid. It could be a good bonding experience and one day when we are closer, I will be happy she was involved. My other future sister in law is our wedding photographer, so she will not be in the wedding party. Her husband (FIs brother) is a groomsmen and their daughter is a flower girl. I guess I just made sure the whole family was included some how. It was a unique situation having FIs brother and sister in law being wedding photographers though.

I like the idea mentioned in the previous post about honorary bridesmaids. You could explain to her that you thought it would be a little much for her to be a part of the wedding party,but you still want her to be a part of the day.

Post # 7
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

If you aren’t close to the sister in law, don’t have her as an attendant, etc. It is an honor to just be a guest, and many people prefer that option.

Post # 8
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Miss Baker: Maybe you could invite her to a pre-wedding event instead?(if you are having some sort of bridesmaid dinner or party). You could say you wanted her to be involved, but you know she will have her hands full at the wedding. Getting the flower girl ready is a nice way to be involved on the actual wedding day and would be enough for someone watching over a little one too.

Post # 9
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I kind of had the same issue, my bil and niece were in the wedding, but I (and my hubby) didn’t want his sil in the wedding. Good thing b/c 2 weeks after the wedding they announced that they were getting a divorce! I did feel kind of bad that she wasn’t included in everything, but she still participated in all of our parties (came to the shower and engagement party), was in our room the day of getting ready b/c her daughter got her hair/makeup done, and she was in our family pictures.

I feel like your fsil will have her hands full with babies and children anyway!

Post # 10
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Can she do a reading for you at the ceremony?

Post # 11
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I would just invite her to get ready with everyone and make sure she knows she’s invited to all wedding events with her family – I can’t imagine the mom of an 8 month old having the energy to be involved!

If your Fiance is really concerned, or has reasons to be concerned (like she’s said something, or her husband has), I would talk to her and explain how excited you are to get to know her better in the future, how grateful you are for her letting her daughter be involved, etc.

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