(Closed) Sister-in-law problems before the wedding- Help!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

You don’t have to ask her to be in the wedding, you just need to ask her to attend 

Post # 3
Member
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Don’t ask her to be in the party. If your fi wants her she can stand on his side.

Post # 4
Member
6929 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Your wedding is almost a year away–you have time. This election has a lot of people upset. Perhaps you could both use a couple of months to see where your relationship may lead? You don’t HAVE to ask her to be in your wedding party especially if you feel she isn’t supportive of your marriage. 

Post # 5
Member
47276 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If you feel you must include her in some way, ask her to do a reading. Do you really want her and her negativity surrounding you on your wedding day?

Post # 6
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I agree with PP and give it a few months to see how you feel before you ask.

Post # 7
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2004

If your Fiance wants her in the wedding that badly she can stand on his side.  I agree the election has many people fired up, but it doesn’t sound you’ve ever been close to her.  Will a few months change that?

Post # 8
Member
1606 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Only ask the people closest to you to be in your wedding party. It doesn’t sound like she fits into that category. There is no obligation to ask family members to be in your wedding party if you aren’t that close to them. The wedding will not bring you closer. In fact, it might make things worse. 

If your Fiance really wants her to b in the wedding party, he can ask her to be a grooms women on his side. 

Post # 9
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

I agree with PP’s…I wouldn’t ask her to be in my bridal party. You should be sharing your special day with your favourite people by your side. Her negative energy will impact you on the day and it is just not worth it; you’ll end up despising your day instead of relishing in the celebration of your love. 

I would have a talk with Fiance and just explain how you feel…after all, it is HIS sister, so if he feels she should be in the Bridal Party he can entertain her by involviing her in his. 

thinking of you bee xx

Post # 10
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee

I also wouldn’t ask her. Normally I’m in camp “if you get on ok then it’s nice to because you’ll be family m” but this woman appears to have zero interest in developing a relationship.

Post # 11
Member
300 posts
Helper bee

There’s no need to ask her. Honestly, she’d probably rather attend as a guest because you’re not really friends and she has three kids keeping her busy.

Post # 12
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

Don’t ask her to be in your bridal party – it’ll just give you anxiety/stress around wedding events. Agree with PPs she can either stand up on your FI’s side or do a reading of some kind if you want to include her. 

Post # 13
Member
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

You have to take into consideration how your fi feels about this.  You know when you post anything in social media it’s the same thing as saying it out loud.  Would you have said the same thing to her face?  Did you not have any idea that she would react to it in such a way?  After watching this election how could you NOT know that someone might react negatively, no matter what you said.  I would strongly suggest your re-think your approach to social media, if you don’t want criticism or deal with the consequences of your postings.  

In the meantime, if it really is important to fi and his family, hold off asking anyone, you have plenty of time.  Not only are the elections bringing out the crazy in everybody but the holidays are wrought with emotion as well.  Revisit this issue at Valentines and see how it’s going then.  

Post # 14
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t have someone who publicly tried to humilate and shame me standing up next to me at my wedding. You don’t have to either. Invite her to your wedding and that should be good enough. Your bridesmaids should be people who you are very close with and it doesn’t sound like you and her really have a friendship at all. She shouldn’t expect to be in your wedding party and I don’t see why your fi would be expecting her to be either. I don’t think that’s being rude, just realistic. It’s YOUR day and YOUR bridesmaids. Do what feels best for you. 

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