Sister in law too much

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
  • poll:
  • Post # 2
    Member
    10022 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2016

    Why doesn’t your husband just block her number? Or call her out on her inappropriate comments in the moment? 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2319 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

    View original reply
    theresabow :  Has your husband confronted his brother with this information? I should think his brother would want to know his wife is acting inappropriately toward your Darling Husband. 

    I don’t even have contact info for my in-law’s spouses. Or for my sister’s husbands, for that matter. I have my FH’s sisters and mom, but none of the men. Not because there’s anything inappropriate about having them, but there’s also literally no reason I need to contact them directly.

    I’d have him block her number. If she really needs to get in touch, she can have her Darling Husband do it. There’s nothing she so urgently needs to communicate to her husband’s brother. It’s probably the lowest drama solution. If she throws a fit, she blows her own cover. 

    Still, if it were me, I’d encourage Darling Husband to show her texts to his brother. If she’s that much of an inappropriate attention seeker, it might benefit him to prepare for the worst. Just because your Darling Husband didn’t act on it, doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5893 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: July 2018

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    theresabow :  “She textes my husband about random stuff, her thoughts and feelings, and he is at the point of telling her to f*** off….It is so rude and i never text her husband, my husband’s brother, just to chat like that.”

    Has she actually said anything inappropriate in the texts? I actually don’t think it’s so weird that she would text her Brother-In-Law to just to chat. Saying that she is trying to share your husband sounds a bit much. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4130 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I mean…is it possible she doesn’t like you because you think she’s a whore? I probably wouldn’t like someone who spoke of me that way either.

    This really sounds like your husband’s issue to deal with (if it even is one). He’s a big boy. He doesn’t need you getting involved, at Christmas, and making a scene over text messages. Act like an adult, and tell him to handle it, whether that means blocking her, or whatever.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2441 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Just have your Darling Husband flat out say. I don’t want you texting me anymore and if she does just ignore her or block her number. He should also bring it up with his brother about her being inappropriate and that he doesn’t want to talk to her. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    760 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s your husbands job to shut her down. So that she understands. Some people just don’t get it unless it’s plainly laid out to them.

    If that doesn’t work then he can approach his brother while she is there in a sit down about her behaviour/texts etc. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    363 posts
    Helper bee

    Just from the information given, it seems like an overreaction. It’s your husband’s sister in law – she’s family and that’s probably why she talks to him. Maybe she doesn’t like you and that’s why she doesn’t want to hang out? Or can sense you don’t like her? I’m not trying to be rude when I say that. I wouldn’t be offended. You love your husband and it’s easy to assume women see what you do when they see him. It’s probably innocent. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1714 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

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    theresabow :  Your husband should block her texts – no contact. And you should ignore / block her too.

    I have a nightmare of a SIL and her mother enables her so trust me when I say you cannot change people who don’t want to be changed. And you cannot change the family dynamic, even if the behavior is wrong / crossing the line. So, don’t waste your time telling SIL she’s acting inappropriately, and don’t waste your time telling Mother-In-Law she’s an enabler.

    Plus, people like this crave any type of interaction – even if it’s negative. Don’t give her anymore of your time.

    Post # 14
    Member
    636 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    theresabow :  You sound super judgmental so I doubt you’re hiding your disdain for SIL as well as you think which would explain her avoiding you.  There’s nothing wrong with chatting with family members of the opposite sex.  It’s sad you think it’s inherently inappropriate.  

    If the texting is too frequent your husband should explain he’s busy and over time it should taper off.  This isn’t nearly as big of a deal as you think it is.  

    Using the term whore isn’t okay and speaks to your character.  I suggest reflecting inward on why you would use that kind of language as a woman. 

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