(Closed) Sister in law want to wear reveling dress

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

It’s inappropriate for her to want to wear out of curtesy for you but you can’t “stop” her from wearing it, also idk it’s a big enough issue to ruin the relationship specially since you are just becoming part of the family. No one is gonna out stage you, you are the bride. Everyone knows that. If anything people might look at her weird for wearing that. 

Post # 3
Member
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

No u r in the right. Talk to her or ask your Mother-In-Law to. This is not cool on her part all!

Post # 4
Member
1865 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Tell her you think the cream colour and train is too bridal and you’d prefer she didn’t wear it.

If you don’t want to say anything and she wears it you won’t even notice on the day, she’ll have enough people side eyeing and judging her for it, don’t worry about it. 

ETA: I agree you can address the cream colour and the train because they sound very bridal but you don’t get to tell an adult in 2016 their outfit it too ‘revealing’. it’s all a matter of taste and trends and it’s really none of your business how much cleavage she has. 

Post # 5
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

White / cream / silver is usually not appropriate for anyone but the bride at weddings. She might not be aware of this – so you might gently remind her. You could say ‘oh, it’s a beautiful dress, but it’s tradition that only the bride wear that color. People might look down on you for that. Maybe save it for another occasion.’

Post # 6
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

first off can we see the dress?

 

second just get people to tell her its inappropriate… seriously if real life was like forums where people just told others how stupidly rude their being there would be far less ‘faux pas’ (although some people would still be attention seekers)

 

get family or friends to bring up that cream is inappropriate and the dress does not fit the wedding dress code, you probably cant be like ‘bitch dont you dare wear that’ but if she realises how silly she looks before the day it could save you both issues (I hate being stared at and talked about… most people do, so let her know thats a strong posability if you wear cream to a wedding)

Post # 7
Member
221 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t say anything unless I was asked. If she wears it, she will make herself look bad.

Post # 8
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

mishybear :  since when is silver off limits?

ive often wear silver to events (including weddings) and never had an issue, many other people have worn silver too – its a pretty standard colour

Post # 9
Member
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

btob17 :  I wear silver, too. Didn’t know it was taboo. I’m not going to show up at a wedding in a white floor-length ballgown, but I’m not sure where the “Can’t look like the bride!!” insanity ends. As for the “revealing” SIL, no one is going to mistake her for the bride. If they notice at all, they’ll laugh at how goofy she looks. Don’t try to dictate what she’s going to wear – if she wants to make a fool of herself, so be it. Not your circus not your monkeys.

Post # 10
Member
3396 posts
Sugar bee

Her dress sounds hilarious and if she wears it, she will not upstage you but will be seen as a weirdo.

Post # 11
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

She’s an adult. While it’s unfortunate that you don’t like her dress, you can’t dictate what she wears.

Post # 12
Member
9097 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Unless you break into her house, steal the dress and set fire to it, you can’t “stop” her from wearing anything. She’s an adult, you’re not allowed to dictate what she wears.

Post # 13
Member
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

You cannot tell adults how to dress.  If that’s what makes her feel good for the wedding, let it go.  If it’s outrageous, she’ll look silly; not you.

Post # 14
Member
2858 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Honestly, I would be super pissed if my SIL bought a dress like that. It sounds bridal (despite the revealing part) and cream is inappropriate, she should really know that… I would simply address the issue with your Fiance and let him know you’re not exactly comfortable with her trying to upstage you. Maybe he can convince her to wear something a little more appropriate. 

Post # 15
Member
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

reynab10 :  By Future Sister-In-Law, do you mean your FI’s sister?

Yes, talk to her. The very fact that she has told people what she’s wearing means that she’s looking for approval or disapproval. If she’s your FI’s sister, it might be better if he talks to her. Something along the line of “a cream dress with a train isn’t appropriate for a wedding guest”.

I agree with PPs not to mention how revealing it is. While I believe that wedding guests shouldn’t dress to draw attention to themselves, I don’t think there’s a good way to mention that part. So if she wears (say) a revealing blue dress, just let it go. All it will do is reflect badly on her, and it won’t look bridal.

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