(Closed) Sister in law want to wear reveling dress

posted 3 years ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
815 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

reynab10 :  tell your fiance to tell her or MIL! 

Post # 17
Member
379 posts
Helper bee

Ha! This Future Sister-In-Law sounds like a real piece of work. I wouldn’t be polite about it. I would tell her that if she wants to wear a dress that is intended to directly compete with yours in color, she is not welcome at the wedding. Your FI’s family will surely back you up on this. The description of the dress isn’t on the fence. She just doesn’t want you to get any positive attention. Don’t let her even try. 

As far as whether she wants to wear something revealing, that one is tougher. If you are getting married in a church, you could emphasize to her that it is important to be respectful in houses of worship. Otherwise, try to make sure the photogs know to keep her out of the frame so she doesn’t ruin the pictures. 

Also, other posters are saying that you can’t tell an adult what to wear. I disagree. You can request a person dress appropriately and enforce the dress code. Restaurants do it. You can too. 

Post # 18
Member
382 posts
Helper bee

You could politely talk to her, but in all honesty: How could she upstage you?

Your Fiance will probably only have eyes for you, and your guests qill be celebrating your union. She will be just someone else at a party dressed up nicely. Yes, maybe some guys will think “she looks hot”, but then again..so what? Maybe some women will say “wish I looked like her”, but so what? 

But people could say the same about any other girl with revealing or not clothes, with a cream or black dress. And for some you will just be “the bride”, because someone else looks better in ther eyes (think spouses). 

If I were you I’d just let it go. 

Post # 19
Member
770 posts
Busy bee

coloradohiker88 :  I mean, could you technically say that this monkey is trying to be the center of attention at the circus lol

I don’t know, I would flat out tell my SIL she better not wear that, but I also am not afraid of saying that because it’s highly innapropriate. See through at a wedding? Seriously?

Like, yeah she’s gonna make a fool out of herself but why would you want people talking about her ensemble over paying attention to the moments in the wedding. 

OP, this all depends on your relationship with your SIL. People saying “you are just entering the family” are wrong in most cases. My FSILs consider me family. I’ve been around a long time. It’s not your first time meeting her.

Side note, my Future Sister-In-Law asked if she could be a bridesmaid. I said we weren’t having a bridal party. Then she asked to be the flower girl (she’s 17). Again, no bridal party. Then she asked if she could just walk down the aisle then sit down because she wants to walk down the aisle. (aka she wants the attention). I can sympathize with you.

Post # 21
Member
767 posts
Busy bee

She wants to wear a dress with a train to your wedding? Is this becoming a thing? Seems like recently I read somewhere that a SIL planned to wear a tulle ball gown to her brothers wedding.

I’m stumped.

Post # 22
Member
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

happycamper32 :  totally agree… people get very pissy on sites like these but as an event planner I can tell you ALL events have a dress code (as does walking in any public place) the only place you can wear whatever you wish is your own home or in a private rented room

now dress codes might not be strict in some places but they still exist – round here most resteraunts do not allow costumes, clubs and pubs often dont allow trainers, shops do not allow hoodies and higher end event can turn you away if your not dressed correctly (your not getting into a black tie ball in stripper heels and a micro skirt) and as the host of an event (the wedding) you are ENTIRELY within your rights to dictate a dress code, if people dont wish to wear it then they do not have to attend but they dont get to attend and ignore it… they are rules for all not just those that feel like complying

 

also upstaging is very common… people talk about the ‘rude’ guest more than the bride and it completely steels focus – people often remember the bad more than the good

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