Post # 1
- Wedding: July 2019 - City, State
Something happened at my bridal shower this weekend that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. My sister and mother worked for months to throw me an absolutely gorgeous bridal shower and the day itself was perfect. My sister set up a cute little jar and gave everyone large popsicle sticks to write date night ideas on for us when we need an idea we pull one from the jar. Super sweet and cute.
Well at the end of the shower as I’m saying good bye to guests I see my 2 Future Sister-In-Law (23 & 29) sitting in the corner together giggling. I walk over and realize they have all the popsicle sticks dumped on the table and they are reading through them loudly laughing and saying things like “why would you do ___?!” I tried to just brush them off but when the shower was over I realized they had filled the jar with popsicle sticks with essentially nonsense phrases I guess they thought were funny?
I know this is not the end of the world and it in no way ruined my shower but some of the guests heard what they were saying and it clearly upset them, especially my sister who worked so hard at putting something nice together. I’ve had other issues with my Future Sister-In-Law, particularly the older one which I’ve detailed in a previous post. I guess what I want to know is how to address this behavior in the future? I’m sure this wont be the last time as it is not the first. And with the wedding in 7 weeks I’d like to have some reassurance they wont behave like this again.
Post # 2
They will act like that again. They are in-laws, welcome to the family.
Post # 3
spaghettipolicy : That’s really childish, have your fiance talk to them about behaving like adults at your wedding. After the wedding, avoid seeing them if you don’t have to.
Post # 4
futuremrs2020 : second this.
Its probably how they are. Bring it up to your Darling Husband just like you wrote the post and have him talk to either his mom, who will then *hopefully* talk to the girls OR he could directly approach your SILs.
Post # 5
I think you should directly approach them. There’s no need to go through your FH or his mother. You are all grown. Their immature behavior needs to be addressed. But, they will definitely do it again as a pp said regardless of being reprimanded.
Post # 6
spaghettipolicy : your SILs’ behavior isn’t horrific on its own but I have a feeling smaller things are going on behind the scenes that allow situations like at your shower to really upset you. The SILs sound incredibly selfish and most likely have a hard time letting anyone else enjoy the spotlight hence the two weddings and behaving out of line at the bridal shower.
Post # 7
Dear bee your Mother-In-Law was rude and ridiculous…..why do you think her daughters would be much different? They’re gonna act the way they’ve always acted so that means you lower your expectations regarding these people and act accordingly. If that means you reduce your exposure to them then so be it.
Oh and you need to tell us about that 2nd wedding! Spill woman!
Post # 8
spaghettipolicy : It’s not necessarily malicious but that behavior is stupidly disrespectful. Like, you’re going to act a fool at someone else’s celebration to get a laugh? Bring it up to your fiance.
Post # 9
spaghettipolicy : What a couple of jackasses. Did they put everyone else’s ideas back in the jar along with their stupid ones? You still got the real ones, right?
Honestly, talking to them about this isn’t going to make a difference. They’re pissy little petty bitches and will probably play the victim, accusing you of being too sensitive and not appreciating their humor. If you WANT to talk to them and will feel better for telling them how you feel (knowing that nothing will change), you are certainly within your rights to. But if you don’t like conflict and would rather just learn the lesson that they are shitty people, do that and avoid them as much as possible in the future. It’s a bummer but some people just aren’t nice, no matter how much you wish they were or how many chances you give them.
Post # 10
spaghettipolicy : There’s always someone who is going to get drunk at the wedding and write “I signed your crack!” in the guest book. These are those people. Better just prepare because they aren’t going to grow up in the next two months. Sorry they got stupid on you – just toss the sticks they wrote on and have someone keep an eye on the guest book!
Post # 11
Tell them exactly what you told us. Your sister put in a lot of hard work to plan the event. You love your FH, and you love his family, but what they did hurt your feelings, and behavior like that at wedding events isn’t alright.
Post # 12
I think you have to address these things when they happen. When you saw what they were doing walk up and say, excuse me, you are being rude and take the jar and Popsicle sticks away. Confront the behavior.
Now that you found they replaced the sticks with nonsense. “I saw that you replaced the thoughtful things guests wrote on the Popsicle sticks at my shower with random words. That was very rude.”
No explanation needed for why or how hard anyone worked just matter of fact. You are are being rude, that was rude.
Post # 13
Wow – that is really shitty behaviour but what you have to remember is that it reflects poorly on THEM, not you. There isn’t much you can do. If they have got to the ages of 23 and 29 without learning how to conduct themselves properly there isn’t much you can do!
Post # 14
That’s insane. They shouldn’t have been touching the jar. That is a special gift to you and your fiance from your sister and your shower guests. Have they acted like this before? I could see if they were teenagers but doing this at 23 and 29?! Maybe they are jealous of all the attention you are getting.
I would have your fiance talk to them or his mother about it. Just have him say that they ruined your shower gift and that you hope they’ll be more respectful at other wedding events.
Post # 15
I might be in the minority, but I honestly wouldn’t address it at all. They are acting like childish little bitches, so I’d leave them to do that in peace. I just hate giving people the satisfaction of thinking their bad behavior has gotten to me? I prefer to give the impression that such lame antics are beneath my attention.
Do you have to interact with these people on a regular basis? If so then that might make it more complicated, but if you’re only seeing them occasionally at family events, then meh, I’d roll my eyes and then try to forget about their lameness.