(Closed) Sister-Inlaw Jealous/Copying us?

posted 9 years ago in Family
Post # 3
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

my Fiance cousin pulled something close to this. Sudden engagement, plans to get married before us. I just didn’t care. I’m going to be marrying the man of my dreams! And I like the idea of getting married after the others because then ours is the big excitement and that won’t be shifted to another’s wedding.

Granted I don’t live close to them or see them, so it’s not hard for me. If it was in my face all the time then I’m sure I wouldn’t be shrugging it off so well. So i’m sorry that’s how it’s going for you.

I would just try to focus of the meaning of your wedding! That’s super exciting!!! When you’re thinking about your man, nothing can bring you down.

Post # 4
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It sounds like you’re overreacting.  Just because she and her guy have been together over a year doesn’t mean they can’t/shouldn’t get married.  And she did change her date until after yours.  Just ignore her when she talks of money woes – not sure why that bothers you.  Focus on your wedding — its exciting!

Post # 5
1468 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Let me tell you about my cousin and I.  He got engaged in a few months before we did (to a girl who I think is using him for his money…thats another story) anyway Fiance and I decided we wanted to do a destination wedding and we started to play, my mom tells my cousin and he says “oh thats a great” then a week later he tells my mom that they have decided to do a destination wedding, ugh. I say whatever right…..Then the entire destination wedding idea falls apart and Fiance finds a really great B&B to get married at, so it worked out great! We put the deposit down in March 2011 and officially set the date for April 28, 2012!! I tell my cousin about it and how excited we are that we are going to be getting married April 28th 2012.  So the next month rolls around April 2011, a full year before our wedding, and all of a sudden I get an email from my cousin and his Fiance, its an email save the date for their destination wedding for the week before my wedding!!!! OMG I was so mad, I could not believe it, not only did he schedule his wedding the week before mine in a year in advance but he sent out tacky email save the dates to look like we plained ours after him!!!!!  I texted him and told him I got the email and was upset as we would be inviting many of the same family memeber (who are all out of town) and they would not want to travel that far 2 weekends in a row!!!! Then he had the nerve to call me a Bridezilla, then told me the reason was because “thats the only time all his professor friends can go” !!!! WTF thats not even spring break, thats right before exams, school is not out yet!! cant you believe it!!!! I was so upset, told my mom to not tell him anymore about our wedding plans. 

This was almost a year ago and I have not talked to him since.  His parents dont even want to go to his wedding, and the family thinks they should not be getting married because she is kind of a bitch who is verbally abusive to him, I dont really care. Im not inviting him or his parents to my wedding, he has always been really selfish and this just pushed me over the edge, so i cut my losses and move on!  By the way other family members said that they do not want to attend his wedding and will be at mine, they think it was really disrespectful of him and cant belive he did that! 

sorry for being so long, still upset about it i guess, at least your  future Sister in law changed her date!!! …. I decided to just put all my energy into my wedding and how special our day will be, just dont talk to her about wedding stuff 🙂 

Post # 6
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Try not to let this little one ruin your wedding. Do your best to ignore her and pretend as hard as you can that her plans don’t affect yours.  She wants to cause drama because she wants the attention.

Those kind of people are alway “poor” and have no money when asked to spend money that is not for themselves.  I have a family member like that.  A sibling who was too “poor” to chip in anything for our father’s burial services.  I was feeling sorry for her until I saw the brand new mansion of a house she just purchased, posted on FB, followed by a clothing shopping spree because she had nothing to wear. Ugh, some people suck.  She was right; she had no money because she keeps spending it on herself! 

Post # 7
573 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yea something similar happened with my Fiance teen sis. She got engaged a week after us to her bf of 4mos. She apparently has been trying to get into a house we first looked. All strange but I don’t pay her mind.

Post # 8
85 posts
Worker bee

Dont take on her drama, her rationalizations are obviously different than yours, perhaps she saved for a dress perhaps not but one thing is for sure, her priorities are different than yours.

Let her do what she wants, you cant change that anyway.

Be the biggest  person by not even complaining to your Fiance, ask if she wants help, go to a bridal fair with her, you dont have to be besties but she is going to be some part of your life.

You can win by being happy at your wedding and not letting her cause one single wrinkle on your face and in all ways, show your husband the woman you are going to be.  

Post # 9
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Yeah. Agree with PP. You are overreacting. She isn’t “copying” you, she is jealous. And if she wants to prioritize her money so that she splurges on dresses, so be it. It’s not your decision. It’s hers. Just sit back and watch the trainwreck without too much of a smirk on your face.

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