(Closed) Sister is blabbing on Facebook…

posted 10 years ago in Family
Post # 17
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

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@NJmeetsBX:I see.  Boy I don’t know.  Saying something now could hurt her feelings like saying she doesn’t know how to be discreet.  Even if she doesn’t.  Maybe make a joke the next time wedding comes along?  “Ok sis, now I don’t want to see this on FB later” with a smile.   

Post # 18
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Similar situation happened to me about something totally not wedding related between me and my cousin.  I’m on FB but I definitely don’t share all the gory details of my life and she does.  I called her and asked her not to post anymore about me and I think she was upset for a little while but she got over.  I think as long as you handle it diplomatically it will work out.  Good luck!

Post # 19
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

How I did it with my family members (since we have at lest 1/2 the same friends and most wont be invited) I told my sister and mom that I wanted things to be a surprise, and I understand their excitment, but wouldnt it be cool to have everything else be a complete surprise!! Makes it a positive thing to keep mouths shut, and no bad feelings.

Post # 20
Member
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You cant get married without your “mutual” friends finding out, so I dont know why you think you should keep it quiet.

Post # 21
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

We had a similar incident where FI’s sister posted some pics from our engagement party on FB.  Because FI didn’t invite a lot of family members who are her ‘FB friends’ to the party, he asked her to remove the pics.  She did and there were no hard feelings.  The pics didn’t bother me because I was happy that she was excited about our engagement. Maybe just explaining to your sister why you don’t want info posted will help her understand and not post any more details.  That worked for my Fiance and his sister. 

Post # 22
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, I don’t think she stepped over any boundaries (if people get upset just tell them that its a small wedding.. they know youre engaged anyways so if theyre expecting an invite theyll expect it either way) but if you’re a secretive person just tell her you’re really glad shes excited but that you want to keep info to yourselves until things are set in stone

Post # 23
Member
1809 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I understand why you would want to keep it quiet, for now. People always assume they’re invited to weddings, and at this point, you can’t really reply to people who assume they’re invited, because you don’t know if you’re having a really small wedding or not, thus you don’t know who will be invited or not. So then that potentially puts you in the situation where you’ll have to be vague/ noncommittal to people you care about, and that’s not fair for you.

I probably would let this one slide, but if she does it again, I would say something iike, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings who may not be invited, so until I have at least a guest list/ guest limit pinned down, maybe we could keep this planning private.”

Post # 24
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would just let it slide.  If your sister is saying that stuff on FB, she is probably saying it in other venues too.  You can’t control what other people do and personally I think that if you try it will come off as controlling.

If people start asking you if they are inviting or start talking wedding, the first thing you say is that it’s going to be a small mostly family affair.  That is all you need to do to set expectations.  Obviously your sister is invited, she’s family.

Maybe explain to her that you are thinking more along the lines of a family only wedding, so that when she talks to other people they won’t get the wrong idea.

Post # 24
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I would just let it slide.  If your sister is saying that stuff on FB, she is probably saying it in other venues too.  You can’t control what other people do and personally I think that if you try it will come off as controlling.

If people start asking you if they are inviting or start talking wedding, the first thing you say is that it’s going to be a small mostly family affair.  That is all you need to do to set expectations.  Obviously your sister is invited, she’s family.

Maybe explain to her that you are thinking more along the lines of a family only wedding, so that when she talks to other people they won’t get the wrong idea.

Post # 25
Member
1850 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Since it’s your sister (I’m assumming y’all are close), I would just address the situation in an upfront way with her. I think if you bring it up in a casual non confrontational way, she’ll realize that you’re just trying to avoid hurt feelings.

“Hey I noticed that you had a post up about the wedding the other day. I hope you don’t think this is weird, but I’m trying to keep all the wedding stuff off of facebook just so no one’s feelings get hurt if they’re not invited. I just wanted you to know for future reference. I mean if we end up having the really small wedding, I don’t want a bunch of people thinking I was having some big wedding that I just didn’t invite them to.”

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