Post # 1
My only sister and Matron of Honor just informed me that she will not be attending my “reception” but she will attend the ceremony. She is only attending the ceremony because her son is the ring bearer.
- She said that she understands my decision to have no kids at my reception, but she has to make the decision that is best for her and her family.
- She said “all of her friends” agree with her.
- I actually was going to have NO ring bearer, but she insisted and thought he would be really cute in a tux. He is 5. So, I made the “Ceremony excecption” for him specifically because she wanted him to be a ring bearer so badly.
I just need to know if I am being unreasonable. If so, I will re-consider.
Thanks for any advice.
Post # 3
When you tell people that they cannot being kids, they have the choice to decline. You can’t hold that against them, bridal party or not.
It’s your wedding, so if you don’t want kiddos there, that’s fine, but it may not work out for everyone who wants to attend.
Post # 5
Does she have a valid reason to not show? the comment of hers saying that she has to do whats best for her family, what does that mean? does she not have a trustworthy babysitter? or is she just being bitter because she cant bring her son? how old is her son?
i think that its your wedding, you should have that right to choose whether or not kids are allowed at the reception. however, if she doesnt have a trustworthy babysitter, can you really blame her for not being able to attend? can you make an exception, since her son is in the wedding party? if not, you should respect that her son comes first. However, if she is just not coming to be difficult, and has no valid reason, i would be upset.
Post # 6
@cookielot: If she can’t come without her children that’s her choice. You can’t change the rules for her. Don’t feel bad.
Post # 7
Wow, this is your sister.
I consider my brothers and sisters’ children to be mandatory attendees. My friends kids, no. But my siblings’ kids? They need to be there.
That’s just me. But do you really want a fracture in the family over this?
Post # 8
That is ridiculous of her!! I would be the bigger person and offer to pay for a babysitter for her, maybe even at the reception if there is a room the kid(s) can go in?
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
Since your nephew is IN the wedding, I’m not sure why you’re not including him at the reception. Does she have other children that would be excluded?
I can see how this would put her in a tough situation- your son is only invited to part of the day- what is she supposed to do with him after the ceremony? You’ve sort of given her no choice- she’d have to have someone come and pick him up otherwise. We had an adults only evening, and I could see my brother saying the same thing if my nephew had been my ring bearer, and had to leave afterwards. Are there options for child care at your reception?? What have your parents said about this?
Post # 10
I think as a sister she should be able to get someone to watch her child for one night. I have a hard time attending events without my son sometimes but if it were a family member getting married I’d be able to work it out.
You shouldn’t feel bad at all.
Post # 11
@MAURINA: She has many other friends who can baby sit (and have when she wants to go on dates with her husband) and has had 8 months notice to secure one of her other babysitters. I offered to pay for a baby sitter. I offered to get a hotel room at the hotel accross the street where she can “run across the street” to check on them if she wants. She declined all of this. This is out of spite.
@WindyCityWendy: No, I definitely don’t want to fracture my family over this. I didn’t know those were my only two choices.
Post # 12
We are having a no kids reception, my niece is my FlowerGirl and they have arranged for her to be picked up by the babysitter at 7pm, and are fine with it, in fact they are looking forward to a night off, it’s nothing against them, we either made that rule, or we had everyones kids there, it’s not suitable for our venue, or our numbers, so I completely support your decision
Post # 13
@rebwana: Good point. I actually was going to have NO ring bearer, but she insisted and thought he would be really cute in a tux. He is 5. So, I made the “Ceremony excecption” for him specifically because she wanted him to be a ring bearer so badly.
Post # 14
Sorry, it’s rude for her to be an assbag about it, but it is equally rude to have children in your ceremony, but make them leave for the reception. In wedding party= invited to whole event.
Post # 15
@mixtapehearts: I actually agree with you. I didn’t want kids at the ceremony either. She insisted he be the ring bearer and got mad at me for that too, so I bent on that one. I just didn’t bend on the reception part.
He is the only kid allowed at the ceremony.
Post # 16
That is freaking ridiculous! Ridiculous. Your sister is acting like a spoiled princess who didn’t get her way. “Fine. My kids can’t come?!! Then I won’t attend your party” Stomp Stomp Stomp.
I am totally floored by this. She is just trying to prove a point…her husband or partner or neighbour or someone couldn’t watch her kids? Really…her children attending a party and getting wired on sugar and bored to death over speeches is more important than her SISTER and being there…all night…not just half the day?
SHE will look silly. Just silly. talk about creating drama where no drama was needed.
I am so sorry, if Ihad a sister, and she did this, I would seriously go down there and kick her butt senseless. lol!!!