(Closed) Sister (MOH) declining b/c "no kids"

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 182
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

So glad your dad was there to mediate and remind your sister how much you love and care for her, but that it’s your wedding at the same time. Also very glad all of our comments were able to help you out. Yay everything is worked out!

Post # 183
918 posts
Busy bee

@cookielot:  Hi there! I was away for a few days but very happy to see that this was worked out successfully. Sometimes, a parent has to step in to help and I am so glad a compromise was made and both of you can move forwardand enjoy your upcoming wedding! 🙂


Post # 184
697 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I hate this debate.  People have such polarizing opinions.  I personally think weddings are about love and family.  To not invite children would not fit with my view of weddings.  I honestly think some people don’t understand until they have kids of their own.

Glad it worked out for you though.

Post # 185
40 posts
  • Wedding: August 2012

Geez.. Is no kids really THAT important to you???

Post # 186
6377 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

@mrsShell:  There are 5 pages to this thread. Surely you can answer that question yourself. 

OP: Glad to see everything worked out in the end. It kind of blows my mind that your sister made such a huge stink over this because other people told her how she should react. Seems pretty stupid to me but at least she realized the error of her ways. 

Post # 187
86 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Bridgewater Place

I plan on having an adults only reception because one: it’s at a bar. two: there ceremony is on a bridge over water three: I don’t want to deal with kids running around all over the place and I want everyone to have fun.

Now because I’m not having children at my reception, I am also not including children in my ceremony. I am not currently planning on having a ring bearer or flower girl.  I don’t think it would be fair to have a ring bearer or flower girl but not let them come to the reception. I feel that if you allow your sister’s son to be in the ceremony you should allow him to be at the reception also.

Post # 188
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@UpstateCait:  I agree.  I know that kids are important, but this issue is not worth causing a huge family rift.  Everyone is different and has a different take on the matter.  And fwiw, if finances were NOT a problem, then everyone could have a gigantic wedding and invite whomever they wanted, bring all the kids, have a separate play area, pony rides, etc etc for children.  Unfortunately, not all of us can do that (although I did see in Kate Moss’s wedding, she did something like that, but she’s a supermodel so whatever), so we all have to compromise somewhere.

For people to get all offended that kids are not invited…I understand where they’re coming from, but I also don’t.  I’ve been to so many events where people brought their (invited) kids, who promptly ran amuck, trashed stuff, hurt themselves, and threw huge tantrums.  Mostly because the parents let them run wild and were so busy socializing and drinking that they didn’t bother to watch their kids. 

Weddings can be formal occasions where people would like to relax, drink, socialize, and mingle.  They can also be formal occasions where kids can run around in cute dress clothes and have fun too.  But honestly, if you don’t want to have kids at your wedding, I don’t see a problem with that.  Not inviting them is not a “judgment” about anyone.  People get pissed about it because they assume you are not validating their life choice and not seeing their kids as precious as the parents do.  Not true! 

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