Sister Refuses to Be a BM Because of the BM Dress

posted 2 months ago in Family
Post # 2
2391 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

hallgirl13 :  In terms of you sister, tell her if she wants to be in the wedding party she can wear the dress. OR She can just be a guest and wear whatever the F she wants.

Is your Mum contributing to the wedding? Financially, I mean?

Post # 3
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I feel like I have read this same issue before…

Anyhoo…what can you realistically do about this? Can you really get your mom to wear something more appropriate and get your sister on board with the dress? If the answer is slim to no chance, then you are just wasting your breath and time. 

Furthermore, have your mom and sister always been like this towards you? Not respecting your wishes and basically being big bad babies. If they have, then I don’t see why they would behave any differently for your wedding.

I guess you either give them ultimatums and prepare for them to not be in your wedding or just give in and let them do what they want to and seemingly are going to do regardless. 

Post # 4
91 posts
Worker bee

For reals with a train? I’m  so sorry… 

Post # 8
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

hallgirl13 :  then you have your answer. They won’t change and it might not be such a bad thing that they are not in your wedding. Just focus on all the positives about your wedding and keep moving forward. 

Post # 10
711 posts
Busy bee

Your sister will attend as a guest and your mom will look foolish in her white-cape dress. People are going to do what they want, just leave them to it and focus your energy on more positive things. Successfully arguing your sister into the dress you chose isn’t likely to bring you any joy.

🙁 Sorry to hear they stink, bee. Don’t give them any more mental energy. It’s a lost cause. 

Post # 11
586 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

If it makes you feel any better everyone at the wedding will just shake their heads at your rude, uncaring, attention-seeking mother.  If she likes making a fool of herself so be it.

Consider yourself lucky that sister of yours took herself out of your wedding party.  She would have been horrible to deal with the entire time.

Now you need to stop caring about it.  You’ll have a lot of peace when you realize that what you “want”- a supportive loving mother and sister who join you in your happiness- is not what you have.  Let it go.

Concentrate on and turn all your attention to the people in your life who ARE loving and supportive.  

Post # 12
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

hallgirl13 :  Why do you want them to be a part of your day when they act like that and are negative? Just tell your sister she can attend as a guest and ignore your mom. They might be doing all of this because they know it gets to you. Focus on your fiance, not them.

Post # 13
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

hallgirl13 :  Have you told your Mom how inappropriate her dress is?

Post # 14
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

They sound very selfish. If your sister wants to be a guest instead of a BM just becaus eof the dress, I think that’s a bit ridiculous and I would be hurt, but so be it. She doesn’t want to be a BM, so let it go.

As for your mom, have you confronted her about her dress? I would flat out tell her that you feel disrespected by her dress choice. 

Post # 15
9694 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

it sounds like they are trying to make you feel like crap. Is that par for the course for them?

screw them both. Your sister can sit as a guest and your mother can try to upstage you with a cloak – she is the fool. 

Smile bigger and try to ignore them. They sound pretty awful. 

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