Sister ruining my relationship

posted 6 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee

lulabellegrace :  As other pps have mentioned, your sister is not ‘ruining your relationship’, she has her own opinion about life and is not to be blamed for voicing those opinions. 

Post # 17
Member
949 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Your sister is who she is and you are who you are.   It could be that your fiance is recognizing something of himself in your sister or some part of himself he wishes he could be.   It’s not too late for him, or yourself for that matter, to bring a little adventure into life. Maybe travel a little more or try new things.  Also, marriage isn’t for everyone.   I’m not sure why you needed her to explain further why marriage isn’t for her and then get pissy because it doesn’t match with what you believe .  Someone not wanting marriage won’t affect your own marriage if both people want to actually be married.   

Post # 18
Member
6149 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

For someone with such a rigid and regimented life, you sound shockingly dramatic. Maybe your Fiance isn’t the only one with a desire for adventure? Your sister is just doing her life and you’ve managed to cast her as the manic pixie dream girl trope in a melodrama.

FYI – my mother loves a great deal and thrifting and still manages to be an adventurous person. The rigidity of the lifestyle you describe for yourself doesn’t sound like there’s much room for real pleasure. Of course your sister’s perspective is going to be intriguing. Auntie Mame is always going to be dazzling next to June Cleaver.

She isn’t “ruining” your relationship, though. 

Post # 19
Member
8317 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

TwilightRarity :  

I looove your post . This alone manic pixie dream girl trope in a melodrama.” cracks me up .I bet OP is a bit po-faced about it though ….

Post # 20
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

You stated that your sister isn’t egging your fh on. So why would you think that she is ruining your relationship? She is who she is. She sounds extremely awesome, exciting and down to earth. You asked her the questions about marriage and you got her answer’s. Is her answer’s wrong? No, not to her. If anyone is ruining your relationship it would be you. I think you are a bit jealous of her. And because you fh is intrigue by her your jealousy is taking over. If your so sick and tired of hearing him talk about her than tell him!!! Use your words, you are a grown women. 

Post # 21
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

lulabellegrace :  I cant even remember if I’ve responded to this post because you literally complained about the same thing twice.

There are literally women who ARE NOT FREE in this world, and you are complaining about your sister being independent? Some women are bought and sold as property, kidnapped and forced into sex trade, publicly shamed for being victimized, and forced into arranged marriages. Some people are not free AT ALL and you are blaming your sister for living her life on her terms?

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

Post # 22
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018 - City, State

Pretty sure your fiance is going to leave you for your sister, and you’re going to end up with your sister’s too-square-kind-of-boring boyfriend.

At least, I *think* that’s how the movie ends, it’s been a while since I saw it …

Post # 23
Member
6645 posts
Bee Keeper

THIS IS SO NOT A SISTER ISSUE. This is a Fiance issue. 

Post # 24
Member
1637 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

manylovesbee1 :  That’s pretty much the fear scene going round in her head minus the sister’s boyfriend part.  He’s not uptight enough.

OP girl, you’ve got issues.

Post # 25
Member
6805 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

beethree :  This isn’t really a fiance issue either. Read her other post. This is an OP issue. 

Post # 26
Member
6645 posts
Bee Keeper

llevinso :  Just tracked it down. Yikes.

OP–perhaps some counseling is in order? Your sister sounds as if she has a solid head on her shoulders, knows what she wants, and is happy with your life. You do not sound happy at all. There is no one right answer to many of these questions–you do you, love and respect her enough to not judge her for being true to herself. 

Post # 27
Member
3038 posts
Sugar bee

lulabellegrace :  Your sister is not really the problem here.

We can all have different opinions and life styles, but it sounds like she really bothers you sometimes. I am sure you love her, but maybe you have had to put up with a lot of her antics growing up and dont find her “bad girl” side appealing.

She is out there living her life the way she chooses and it normally doesnt affect you.  To me, it sounds like your fiance is less entranced by her and more entranced by her lifestyle.

Plan a fun get away or night out. Is there a concert coming up that you guys enjoy? Get a hotel room, make a night of it. Break the routine, uber to a local bar and let loose. Is there somewhere he has been wanting to visit? 

Post # 28
Member
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Soooo… trying not to sound arrogant but I play a similar role as your sister between my best friend and her husband. I am clumsy, but just lucky enough. I travel, I go on adventures, I’m flying by the edge of my seat and it’s a wonder I haven’t wound up in the hospital. I take risks and life is just a party. When you compare that to a quiet suburban life with a small social circle and board game nights for hobbies… yes it’s different and probably more exciting.

I know that my best friend’s husband fancies that and has this vision of leading a life of camping, travel, backpacking, spontaneity, etc. He wants to move to Colorado, get into rock climbing, get a list minute ticket to Europe and figure the rest out when they land…

Comparison is the thief of joy. They should be living their life in a way that is fulfilling and satisfying and brings them happiness. If they like what their friends are doing and decide to try something new to break up the monotony, I am all for that. It is ultimately up to each individual and each couple to decide what you want out of life.

Your sister is not a threat. What is happening is that your Fiance sees someone living their best life and being passionate about it, as cavalier as it is. It’s the stuff that makes movies and Instagram. If he gets it in his head to go on an adventure, offer support and join him and make your own memories together.

Post # 29
Member
1312 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Iʻd be entranced with some excitement too having to live like this 24/7, yikes!

Post # 30
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee

Your sister is ruining your relationship how?

Your poor fiance is probably tired of couponing for a hobby. I don’t blame him!

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors