Post # 1
My sister will not stop spreading rumors about me and my brother. We are all in our mid to late twenties and my sister can’t seem to stop herself. She isn’t spreading petty rumors, she is spreading the kind that would absolutely destroy my brothers reputation and possibly his relationship if his longtime girlfriend found out. They are absolutely absurd the things my sister has said. I have confronted my sister about this and she apologizes to me but I’m still dealing with people coming up to me with concerns about my brother and these all came from rumors my sister started. I went through a very hard time with depressed a year ago, I didn’t tell anyone and I just found out my sister has told tons of people every detail about my issues, all the way down to what medication I am taking (she found this out in passing when I was speaking to my mother).
I dont even know what to do anymore. I can’t tell my brother what she has said because he will be devastated and it almost feels like I have to cut ties with my sister. I don’t know if she’s just socially awkward and can’t think of normal things to talk about with people or if she’s out to get me and my brother.
What should I do? Talking to her gets me nowhere. What should I do? I don’t know if I should talk to my parents, talk to my brother? An intervention? I don’t know but I can’t deal with this anymore.
Post # 2
She could be battling mental health issues. Can you talk to her? Bring up your concerns and have your brother there? If you think this would lead to a huge blow out fight I would just distance myskef from her and avoid talking to your parents about delicate issues when she is around, or ”passing” through within earshot. If anyone asks you about lies they were told by her you can just reply “oh my sister has a very wild imagination and likes to make things up”.
Post # 3
Wait, I’m confused. She’s telling people things about you that are true, right? But she’s telling lies about your brother? I agree with PP that this sounds like the result of a deeper mental issue, which you may or may not be able to get to the bottom of on your own. You might talk to her about it and see if she agrees that her behavior is strange and that she needs to talk to someone–but if she refuses, I think the only option is to distance yourself from her and make sure that she doesn’t get any other inside info about your life.
Post # 4
Normally I would say don’t repeat gossip, especially to the person being gossiped about, but in this case I’d sit down with parents and brother together and fill them in. If what’s she’s saying has the potential to do serious damage to him, he needs to know.
Post # 5
I was going to say something similar to what lifeisbeeutiful
wrote. Your sister could be a compulsive liar of sorts? First I would do damage control for what she’s already done, then I would look into getting professional help for her.
Post # 6
I am sorry but I think you should tell your brother. If she has begun wild rumors about him then he needs to be warned particularly if people start treating him differently and he does not know why. He needs to be able to defend himself too especially if it affects his relationships and career opportunities.
I agree that it may be a good idea to sit down with your parents and brother and make sure everyone is on the same page and present a collective front on how to deal with your sister’s behaviour.
If she is apologizing then she is aware that what she is doing is wrong.
Post # 7
Definitely time to have a come to Jesus moment with your whole family so that everyone is on the same page about what she’s saying a doing (and so that she knows that everyone knows as well). Separately, it sounds like she might need some therapy and you need to make sure that she doesn’t know anything about you or what you are doing moving forward.
Post # 8
Do your parents know this is happening? Maybe they can get her into see a therapist and get evaluated because this isn’t normal. I think it is reasonable for you to sit down with your parents alone and talk to them about her behavior. I also think regardless of if they get her help or not you can ask them to not discuss anything about you or your brother’s personal lives etc. with that sister to prevent her from being able to speak about private issues to people.
If she doesn’t get help, and honestly even if they do get her help I would just take some time to speak to people in your life that you are close to and let them know that she is going through something and that she does not speak for you or your brother and if she says anything to them you would appreciate it if they didn’t encourage her to talk about it, and or let them know it isn’t true and to ignore her when she does this. You could also speak to the people she talks to about these lies and let them know that if they have any questions about what she says they can contact your parents directly and ask them to clarify. You can also ask that they disregard what your sister tells them.
If it were me and I was concerned about people hearing things from her that were lies I would want to get out ahead of her and let these people she is talking to know that she is having an issue and that anything she tells them about the family is not to be believed or repeated and if they have any questions they can ask your parents.