(Closed) Sister suggests idea bcs "no kids" wedding and I'm offended!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 92
7371 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I’m with totally with you OP but you really need to relax. You have been this forum long enough to know if you post something EVERYONE is entitled to share their opinion whether its on topic or not. That’s the break you take posting on the internet. 

Post # 93
9811 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

You have a right to have a childfree wedding and she has a right to decline for whatever reason.  Hosts shouldn’t pressure guests to attend and the invited guest should also not pressure the host to change their rules/circumstances.  So yeah, your sister would be wrong for pressuring you.  But you should just be okay with her declining if she needs to. 

Post # 94
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I agree that you can have a kids-free wedding (because you’re paying, and you can do what you want), but your sister is also welcome to decline if she wants to. As PPs have stated that guests shouldn’t pressure the bride/host into changing the no kids rule, but the bride/host shouldn’t pressure guests either. Hopefully everything will work out for you.

Post # 95
4767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

coffeedrinker:  Calling people crazy and going on a bit of a rant just makes you a zilla.  

Post # 96
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Is there any reason she is so set on bringing her kids? I think you mentioned that it wasn’t like her. Anyway, there’s still time – she might still change her mind (see, it works both ways) 

Post # 97
127 posts
Blushing bee

Yes, definitely stand firm in your decision. It is your day and if you don’t want kids, no kids! If she doesn’t like it, that’s her problem and not yours. It is not fair of her at all to try to guilt or bully you into something you don’t want to do. She may be mad/sad for a little bit when she realizes you are dead serious about no kids (even *gasp* HERS), but seeing as she is your sister and you two seem close, I’m sure she will get over it and happily attend your wedding sans kids. 🙂

Post # 98
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Historic house and gardens

coffeedrinker:  Your wedding sounds very much like ours. Lovely intimate dinner with good food and wine, no cake or dancing, and definitely no kids. For the same reasons you have stated. I think you are going to have the wedding of your dreams, but to do that you have to be firm and continue to say NO.

Post # 100
18 posts

coffeedrinker:  I 100% agree with your sentiment, not your abrasive delivery — your wedding, your money, your decision. You don’t want kids? That’s your call. Your sister needs to accept that graciously but you also need to graciously accept if she doesn’t want to go because of that. 

By the way, finding a topic on your board titled OMG WHAT IS WITH BRIDES WHO RANT was SO awesome. Oh, the irony.

Post # 101
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

coffeedrinker:  So no, you’re not willing to compromise.  That’s fine — just as long as you can see that that means your sister — the one whose attendance you MOST value — might not come.  

Is there ANY way you could provide a space for her kids at the ceremony, and then figure out a good option for them during the reception?  That seems like what your sister wants.  Could the 19 year old be trusted with her own siblings to go watch a movie or something?  

Post # 102
9630 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

peachacid:  Good luck with that suggestion, OP will probably flame you for suggesting a compromise because it’s a wedding, a WEDDING, did you get that? A W.E.D.D.I.N.G. Not a babysitter’s club. A wedding. <br />

OP, why don’t you just make it perfectly clear to your sister the same way you did for all of us? That way you can ensure to never see her or any of her lousy kids ever again?

Post # 103
6040 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State


coffeedrinker:  welcome to the internet. You don’t get to choose what kind of feedback you get or who responds. Sorry charlie.

FYI – I couldn’t possibly care less that my opinion isn’t welcome by you. I gave it anyway. If you don’t like it well that’s fine, you aren’t required to like it. Ignore it for all I care, but I’ll post what I want.

With that said, never anywhere did I say you were planning a family reunion. In fact, had you read my comments I did say you are allowed to plan whatever kind of event you want (agreeing with you) and it should be respected (also agreeing with you). I also said that she was definitely wrong to be pushing you on the subject (omg again agreeing with you? crazy) . But your sister is allowed to decline your event for whatever reason she wants. So you go ahead and plan as you see fit, but don’t get all butt hurt when people disagree with the kind of event you are planning and don’t come. can’t win em all.

Gosh, I can’t imagine why she would be fine skipping your wedding, you seem so pleasant.

Post # 104
13564 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Hi everyone! We’re getting a lot of flags here, so I’m going to close this thread so we can review. Thanks!

The topic ‘Sister suggests idea bcs "no kids" wedding and I'm offended!’ is closed to new replies.

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