- 8 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
My wedding is 4ish months away, yay! Anyhoo, my younger sister (24) who rushed to get pregnant and rushed to get married is now at it again. I love her very much, but the first time she got pregnant she was 21 and dating her (now) ex & all they did was drink & party.
After she had my niece she put most of the “mothering” responsibility on my 50-year-old mother. My mom has basically had no personal time or life at all since she’s been born. Shortly after my sister had the baby her and her boyfriend decided to get married. She expected all of us to do literally everything for her wedding planning wise-in addition to childcare. This was down to the smallest stuff that most brides would do for themselves. She kinda treated us like slaves, and was the definition of a bridezilla.
My mom did everything for her and when it was all said & done our family (including myself) had spent almost 20k on her wedding. She decided about 2 months later to separate from her husband. Since then my mom has continued to be her primary source of childcare. She started dating & living with someone new (nice guy this time). She has yet to even file for divorce and its been almost 2 years since she left her husband.
Flash forward. I am engaged, I dated my fiance for over 5 years and we are waiting until marriage to start a family. My mom & sisters have not been helping me with any of the usual wedding details one would expect and have made it very hard for me (by myself) to plan my bridal shower, and who knows if I will even have a bachelorette party. Everytime I even try to talk to my mom about the wedding, she is too busy and not available.
I have single handedly planned my entire wedding (with a little help & moral support from fiance & my dad). I have two adult sisters and a mom that I thought would be there for me. I have tried really hard to accept that they are just busy and it doesn’t mean they dont love or care for me. It is still hurtful….
Anyhoo, I found out my little sister had a miscarriage recently. Naturally I reached out to her to lend some support. She eluded that she might have wanted to have the baby, and could be trying. I would never tell my sister that I don’t support that or that its wrong since she is not able to raise my niece as it is….but truthfully, I find it so irresponsible and reckless, and selfish of her.
Who will take care of this baby? I know it is selfish of me to feel this way, but part of me feels like I have been waiting SO long to get married & start our family in the right way, and suddenly now when she is still married to another man & still hasn’t gotten a handle on motherhood yet-she wants to try for another baby?
She has not idea (or cares at all) how this will affect my mom. My mom and stepdad do everything for her already, they don’t get to have any time together, to take vacations or relax…She probably doesn’t even think about the childcare aspect let alone the legal complications of being married to one man while you have anothers baby…Its just frustrating, and I pray that she doesn’t dump another pregnancy on our family.
I always knew that she would try for another baby someday, but I just hoped it would be when she’s like 30 and no longer relies on our family so much & has learned that lesson…not now
Am I just evil?