(Closed) Sister trying to show me up?

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
597 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

@Ali-oop:  Yeah, its because she’s older and your doing things before her. 

Just, tell her to chill and for her man to come up with his own unique ring idea for her, its special that way!

Best of luck, I know how those kind of sisters can be. :/

Post # 4
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

They want to look at venues now so they don’t run into the same problem, to me that just sounds smart. As for your ring, how does she know exactly what it looks like if your mom is the one to tell her about your SO having it already?

Post # 5
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

have you talked to her about this? im pretty blunt so i dont think i could NOT say anything if i was in your shoes. from now on i would be vague about future details.

Post # 6
Member
866 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I think looking at venues now is reasonable; maybe she saw the difficulties you have and doesn’t want to run into the same thing. As long as she isn’t trying to have her wedding at the exact same venue, I’d just let that one be. However, wanting your exact same ring is weird. I’d explain to her how important it is to you that you have a unique ring that represents you and your fiance’s engagement and marriage, and that you’d prefer if she found something unique to her. If she refuses to budge, I would ask your mom to talk to her about it; if there’s competition between you, she may not want to hear the emotional perspective from you, but I do think that’s inappropriate of her to knowingly copy your ring design. 

Post # 7
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Why are you planning a wedding yet refer to him as your boyfriend? wouldn’t that make you engaged?

Post # 8
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Ali-oop:  wow!! I would be so hurt if my sister was acting competitive like that. I think you need to refrain from telling her anything else about the wedding. Just say you have not decided yet if she asks you anything! you can’t prevent her from doing things but you can withhold facts as a pre-emptive measure.

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Many venues book quickly, so its understandable that she is also looking.  Looking at your terminology (boyfriend for you and your sister), neither of you are engaged yet, so you can’t really fault her for looking.

Post # 10
Member
7749 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t understand the problem. What’s wrong with your sister looking at venues now?

Post # 11
Member
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

Now that you know this about her, to keep your irritation to a minimum, keep the sharing with her of other details of your plans to a minimum, until it’s actually time for them to happen.

We can’t choose our family…

Post # 12
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Ali-oop:  Stop sharing details with her. If you really want to make her stop doing this, tell her something fake and then when she does it you can point out how ridiculous she is being.

Post # 13
Member
3886 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It sounds like neither of you are actually engaged? I’d hold off on sharing any more wedding details till someone is engaged.

Post # 14
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I wouldn’t share any of your wedding ideas and if she has a “habit” of stealing ideas…. arn’t you giving it to her on a silver platter?

Post # 15
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Venues do book really far in advance.  I don’t see anything wrong with your sister looking at venues.

Post # 16
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

if you don’t even have your ring yet, how does your sister know what it looks like to ask for the same one?

 

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