Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been seriously talking about getting engaged for the past 6 months or so. He got a little tipsy at a wedding recently and told me the ring was almost ready. I told my Mom out of excitement and she told my sister who is 3 years older than me. My sister then proceeded to tell her boyfriend that she wanted that exact ring. I told her that upset me, but it didn’t really seem to phase her.
My boyfriend and I then decided to start looking around at venues because we would like Fall 2013 and we were worried that places would be booked already. We were right but we were able to find a gorgeous venue with a date that was on hold and had been released. So we currently have that date held.
Two days later, she calls me and tells me her and her boyfriend are going to look at wedding venues. They are not planning to marry until 2014.
My sister has a habit of stealing ideas from me, but this is making me crazy. I’m not a selfish person, but don’t my boyfriend and I deserve a little time for it to be about us. Her wedding will be almost 2 years away. Am I overreacting?
Post # 3
@Ali-oop: Yeah, its because she’s older and your doing things before her.
Just, tell her to chill and for her man to come up with his own unique ring idea for her, its special that way!
Best of luck, I know how those kind of sisters can be. :/
Post # 4
They want to look at venues now so they don’t run into the same problem, to me that just sounds smart. As for your ring, how does she know exactly what it looks like if your mom is the one to tell her about your SO having it already?
Post # 5
have you talked to her about this? im pretty blunt so i dont think i could NOT say anything if i was in your shoes. from now on i would be vague about future details.
Post # 6
I think looking at venues now is reasonable; maybe she saw the difficulties you have and doesn’t want to run into the same thing. As long as she isn’t trying to have her wedding at the exact same venue, I’d just let that one be. However, wanting your exact same ring is weird. I’d explain to her how important it is to you that you have a unique ring that represents you and your fiance’s engagement and marriage, and that you’d prefer if she found something unique to her. If she refuses to budge, I would ask your mom to talk to her about it; if there’s competition between you, she may not want to hear the emotional perspective from you, but I do think that’s inappropriate of her to knowingly copy your ring design.
Post # 7
Why are you planning a wedding yet refer to him as your boyfriend? wouldn’t that make you engaged?
Post # 8
@Ali-oop: wow!! I would be so hurt if my sister was acting competitive like that. I think you need to refrain from telling her anything else about the wedding. Just say you have not decided yet if she asks you anything! you can’t prevent her from doing things but you can withhold facts as a pre-emptive measure.
Post # 9
Many venues book quickly, so its understandable that she is also looking. Looking at your terminology (boyfriend for you and your sister), neither of you are engaged yet, so you can’t really fault her for looking.
Post # 10
I don’t understand the problem. What’s wrong with your sister looking at venues now?
Post # 11
Now that you know this about her, to keep your irritation to a minimum, keep the sharing with her of other details of your plans to a minimum, until it’s actually time for them to happen.
We can’t choose our family…
Post # 12
@Ali-oop: Stop sharing details with her. If you really want to make her stop doing this, tell her something fake and then when she does it you can point out how ridiculous she is being.
Post # 13
It sounds like neither of you are actually engaged? I’d hold off on sharing any more wedding details till someone is engaged.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t share any of your wedding ideas and if she has a “habit” of stealing ideas…. arn’t you giving it to her on a silver platter?
Post # 15
Venues do book really far in advance. I don’t see anything wrong with your sister looking at venues.
Post # 16
if you don’t even have your ring yet, how does your sister know what it looks like to ask for the same one?