Sister wants me to change my wedding date

posted 9 months ago in Engagement
  • poll: should I change my wedding date even though my sister is not engaged and I am.
  • Post # 30
    Member
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Don’t change your date. She isn’t even engaged yet and you can both have your wedding near each other. Why does that matter? 

    As for her boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance I do think you need to invite him and I think it is very fair for her to say that she won’t be involved if you don’t invite him. They are an item and are planning a wedding or planning in spending their life together… Plus if you plan on having her in your bridal party, they need to get a plus one and you don’t get to pick who that plus one is.

    Post # 32
    Member
    4150 posts
    Honey bee

    Don’t change your date. If you guys get married a month apart, so be it. Just make sure you’re ahead of the game and get your Save-The-Date Cards out first 🤷🏽‍♀️ 

    As far as her Fiance, or whatever he is to her, unfortunately she should get a plus one if she’s in the bridal party. And unfortunately you don’t get to choose who that is. What he did to you was definitely unacceptable; however, no matter how much you despise him, it sounds like he’ll be around for the foreseeable future. Honestly, you won’t even notice he’s there on your wedding day. You’ll be so busy you’ll probably not notice much of anyone, aside from the main “characters” 😊 

    Post # 33
    Member
    1002 posts
    Bumble bee

    sjreeb :  I disagree with some of the other posters.  If someone physically assaulted me, I absolutely would not invite them to my wedding.  I feel like someone putting their hands on you is a pretty sound reason to not allow them to come.  

    Post # 34
    Member
    2504 posts
    Sugar bee

    sjreeb :  so he is a violent, albeit not prosecuted, criminal. Agree on not inviting him. But next time call the police.

    Post # 36
    Member
    8541 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    BMoreBecc :  She absolutely does get to veto a plus one who physically assaulted her. There is no etiquette that says you need to invite a criminal. In fact on the contrary I would say hosts have the obligation not to expose their other guests to a violent person. 

    Post # 37
    Member
    1179 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2018 - City, State

    Don’t change your date. Don’t invite him – but know your sister will choose him, won’t attend your wedding if he’s not invited, and will probably hold a grudge (or even cut ties with you) for a long time (maybe even forever).

    Post # 38
    Member
    4454 posts
    Honey bee

    Yea no changing the date and double no on inviting someone who physically assaulted you. WTF? 

    Post # 41
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2019 - Saint Louis, MO

    I know you already reached the conclusion of her not coming but definitely stand your ground. Someone who physically assaulted you doesn’t get to be there for your special day. In addition,  while I know you love your sister she does sound jealous. Just imagine you invite him and he steps out of line now your fiancé has to kill him 😩

    Post # 42
    Member
    2948 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    sjreeb :  In that case I would definitely not invite him. While I could understand if he simply got between the two of you during the altercation or even moved you to a different room/location/what have you if it was pretty heated, there is absolutely no excuse to get physically violent to the point of bruising. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    417 posts
    Helper bee

    Seriously, don’t change the date!! That’s so bizarre of her to ask you…so what if you get married the month befriended her?! You are engaged first so get to have first choice, if shes not happy with your date then she can change hers. 

    If you don’t want her boyfriend there then don’t invite him, but unfortunately I think there will be consequences that you need to weigh up

    Post # 45
    Member
    1664 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Do not change your wedding date. She’s being unreasonable. 

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