Sister wants to wear sari for a bridesmaid dress

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jannigirl :  Converse, baseball caps, jean jackets are modern fashion items that transcend cultures. Sari’s, kente cloth, kimonos, etc. are examples of traditional culturally specific apparel and should be worn only when appropriate. Like if you are in an Indian wedding or traveling and it’s expected that you wear something specific. 

Post # 32
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

somathemagical :  so what you’re saying is that European Americans can’t have a cultural dress? Blue jeans are “American” and go back at least 60 years. And we wouldn’t be having this discussion if saris weren’t still being worn in eastern cultures. 

Post # 33
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Cultural appropriation is offensive especially when it concerns colonised and oppressed nations. I’m from NI and it’s a thing here. 

I think the preteen isn’t aware of what it represents.

Post # 34
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2017

TinderBoxx :  you wearing clothing from the 40’s isn’t the same as a girl wearing a sari. No one is currently IN the 40’s (and it’s also not a culture), but there are people for whom wearing a sari IS their culture.

Post # 35
Member
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jannigirl :  Oh boy… *cracks knuckles* I would try not to focus too much on denim/blue jeans as it is not necessarily an “American” traditional garment. The word jeans come from the Italian city Genoa where the fabric was manufactured and Levi Straus was a German immigrant. The dye “indigo” that is used to make them blue came from India. Also, when blue jeans were becoming popular, in the late 19th century, there was a much freer trade amongst countries which allowed jeans to circulate to other countries quickly.

These traditional garments I spoke about earlier have developed in cultures many hundreds of years before America was a country. These cultures developed in more isolated conditions allowing them to have vary different (and gorgeous) fashion. When America was founded there were immigrants from all over coming in and bringing their own traditions/dress and thus America never really developed its own specific garb… Unless you want to get in a conversation about native American headdresses…

Post # 36
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

somathemagical :  what I’m saying was that when you come to America the very nature of America being a Melting Pot helps us to know that we will be incorporating different cultures, races and religions into this thing that we refer to as “American”. I’m assuming that  OP is from America and that her sister is, as well. This means that we would expect them to be able to incorporate whatever they would like into their own individualistic styles. Seriously, it’s what makes us, us. And I’m rather proud of our country and American Melting Pot 

Post # 37
Member
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jannigirl: Well America the “melting pot” sure seems to have a double standard then and that’s why “Cultural Appropriation” is a bigger problem in America. We are a country that struggles with racism, Islamophobia, and marginalization of certain immigrants. To say we can adopt and welcome some aspects of a culture like their beautiful saris and condemn other aspects, like their religious beliefs, is the EXACT reason why it is in very poor taste to wear a sari to a wedding if you have no cultural ties to the garment.

Also… What were you saying then when you said these things:

“I’m assuming that those who would be offended at someone wearing a sari isn’t someone who wears blue jeans or any typical western American wear, ever? Baseball cap? Converse? Jean jacket?”

Blue jeans are “American” and go back at least 60 years.

Post # 38
Member
3114 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

Yeah no. If it’s not a part of either her culture or the wedding itself (e.g. Your fiance’s culture) it’s absolutely not appropriate. 

Post # 39
Member
2395 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Seriously. I’m laughing. I can’t help it. It’s ridiculous 

Post # 40
Member
2139 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

jannigirl :  Well you can laugh and think it’s ridiculous if you would like. However, there are some people who find the wearing of a sari out of context is inappropriate and to me… that’s not funny or ridiculous. If you are referring to what I said about “America the Melting Pot” and you have no other arugment as to why it should be allowed then why bother posting?

Post # 41
Member
28 posts
Newbee

If your family is indian then I think it is an absolutely beautiful idea.

If not, noooooooooo, that is not okay

Post # 43
Member
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

 What peridot456  said. She’s too young, probably, to fully understand that there is a balance between celebrating your own style and pulling focus at someone else’s events. Wearing a very unusal style (assuming it is in your neck of the woods) pulls focus. Wearing that style when the other maids will be in more familiar styles pulls focus. And wearing clothing that is very obviously from a culture not your own really pulls focus and could feel controversal. Just as I wouldn’t let my sister wear a tight mini dress in a church wedding, I would steer your sister away from the sari. It’s not appropriate for the occassion. 

For what it’s worth- I live in Southern California where I have the luxery of knowing people from lots of different cultures and have gone to their family events. It’s pretty common here for non-Indian women to wear saris to Indian weddings. I would never (as a latina) wear one to a non-Indian wedding no matter how awesome I look in them. 

Post # 44
Member
7905 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Still wondering what the OP’s and sister’s ethnicities are and if the sari is a part of their culture. Need to investigate more about why the sister is wanting to wear the sari in the first place. 

Post # 45
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

busyhbee :  Like PP I too wondered if a sari is part of your culture? 

I married into an Indain family. A few days after we got engaged my Mother-In-Law called talking to me about what kind of sari I should wear. She only has sons, so she was really excited about going sari shopping with me. I didn’t know how to tell her I was planning on wearing a wedding dress. The best compromise was that we did an Indian rehearsal dinner. All the ladies (even on my side) wore saris and all the guys wore kurtas, and we all had a blast with the indian jewelry!! We went to great lengths to have a Catholic and Hindu wedding ceremony, so there were a lot of places where we were mixing Indian and Western culture. 

All the same – if your family isn’t Indian, then I think you sister could find another Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. Also, sari’s aren’t all that easy to wrap around yourself. She might regret trying to do it herself. 

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