Post # 1
Hi bees, Kinda stuck on what to do, and I wanted some advice. So yesterday my sister was very rude to my mother saying she is a “bad mother” for not sending her care packages and visiting her when she was in college. My mother’s feelings were obviously hurt when she told me about this yesterday. Truth be told my mom is a great mom. She raised me and my 3 sisters alone. We always had more than we needed, and my mother worked really hard for that. It just seems like my little sister is ungrateful. So… being her big sis, should I say something to her about how she hurt our mom’s feelings and remind her of what a great life we have because of her, or do I let it go?
Thanks in advance
Post # 2
Leave it between your mother and your sister.
Post # 3
If it was my brother I’d give him an earful. But you know your family better than any of us.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t get involved. Maybe show some appreciation for your mom on your own behalf to cheer her up, but IMO mom/daughter fights usually stem from deeper issues than what they appear. I doubt you’ll really be able to contribute something constructive. Better to not end up in the middle & be left with a sad mom AND a sister who feels kind of betrayed.
Post # 5
I would leave it between your mother and sister.
I have gotten myself into a pickle many times for budding into my mom and sister’s problems.
Post # 6
Something tells me you’re really only getting one side of the story. As great as I’m sure your mom is, she can still have a bias and might not be telling you everything EXACTLY how it happened. I’d refrain from taking sides here. If you want to cheer your mom up, go ahead and do so but don’t do it by coming out against your sister in defense of your mother. You don’t really know what’s going on.
Post # 7
Your mum is her mum, not you. Your mum can take care of herself, and only the two of them really know what happened between them.
Post # 8
Not your business at all. You may have good intentions but it’s not your place to intervene.
Post # 9
I agree with PP’s, leave it between your mom and your sister. If either wants to vent to you, you can listen but I wouldnt go saying something to your sister. If she chooses to talk to you about it then maybe see why she is feeling like that and if it’s truly unwarranted then remind her of the good things your mom has done.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t hesitate to call her out on it. I don’t tolerate any derogatory talk about my mama (even when it’s true).
Post # 11
I agree with PP’s-it’s none of your business.
Post # 12
It’s between them and I would stay out of it. It’s very possible you don’t have the full story. Maybe she’s being a brat or maybe there’s more going on. Just because your relationship with your mom is great doesn’t mean hers is and getting involved in thier relationship is unlikely to be helpful especially if you are coming at it from such a one-sided position.
Post # 13
All that’s going to happen if you speak to your sister is her getting mad at you. Stay out of it.
Post # 14
Unless your sister is a minor, no I wouldn’t get involved. It’s not really your place to “remind” her of the great life you had or admonish her for being ungrateful. It will only damage your relationship with your sister.
Post # 15
I totally get your impulse, I’m an older sister and occasionally take on a mama role to tell my sibs when they’re being jerks
were you there when it happened? If so take a “that was kinda rude” approach without mentioning your mom. If your mom just told you about it I think just leave it between them.
i have definitely taken both routes in the past with varying degrees of success… you know your mom and sister best!