(Closed) Sisterly love

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
7673 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

janellephant:  She’s being ridiculous. You get a wedding day, not a wedding year! If your wedding was before her I could at least understand her jealously, but with yours after, her being jealous doesn’t even make sense. And 4 months between is plenty of gap – I know a brother and sister whose weddings were that close and there were no problems.

I think you should call her bluff and have your wedding when it suits you and your Fiance – especially when it involves such a good deal. If she drops you from the bridal party over that, she will just look like a B.

Post # 3
46653 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

janellephant:  Make the decisions that are right for you and your Fiance. She does not get the whole year.

If you have family members that have to travel at considerable expense, it can be difficult for them to have two weddings to attend close together. Yours is the second wedding so if they decline one, it’s likely to be yours as your invitations will go out after hers (of course you can always send STD’s to make sure guests who live far away are given enough notice).

I have never been a fan of blackmail and that’s what your sister is attempting to do to you.

Post # 4
2787 posts
Sugar bee

No, dont give in to your sister’s demands and blackmail.  She doesn’t get a whole year.  She gets a wedding day and then a lifetime of marriage.  This is what it is all about. 

I think that you are doing the right thing by being calm and firm.  You don’t have to be nasty and you don’t have to give in to her.  

Just enjoy your own engagement, your wedding day and your marriage – at a time of your choosing.

Post # 5
2258 posts
Buzzing bee

A wedding YEAR? Seriously? Wow, you’re sister is quite the peach. You will probably dodge a bullet not being in her bridal party anyway if she thinks the entire year should be dedicated to her. I can’t even imagine what demands she’s going to make of them. 

Post # 6
2634 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter's Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle

No way does she get a whole year.  I think four months is plenty of time between the two, and she can’t blackmail you into changing your date.  I have two cousins who are engaged; one texted me last week saying they were looking at dates for next year and did we have any dates planned that they should avoid, to which I said “May 30th, thanks for asking!” and I’m having lunch with the other cousin next week (she’s very recently engaged) and will be letting her know our date as well – but so long as she doesn’t go for the same date as us, I couldn’t care less if her wedding is two days or two months after ours.  Wanting a whole year is incredibly selfish.

Post # 7
1262 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Don’t give in! Your sister sounds awful! (I have three myself and two of them are extremely difficult to get along with, so TRUST ME, I know)

The other ladies are correct. You get ONE DAY! Do whatever’s best for you. Also, in regards to being her Maid/Matron of Honor, consider it a blessing. I can only imagine how difficult she would be throughout the planning process- talk about Bridezilla.

Post # 8
266 posts
Helper bee

I got married on June 7th and my sister is getting married September 6th, we have no issues and she was my Maid/Matron of Honor and I will be hers.  I don’t think anyone should get a whole year! Originally my sister had scheduled her wedding for July 12th which I wasn’t thrilled about but still ok with, they changed the date due to reasons that had nothing to do with me.

Good luck.

Post # 9
4412 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

janellephant:  She’s acting like a child and needs to get over herself. As you will commonly here on WB, every bride GETS ONE DAY, not a friggin year! Insane! She doesn’t get to bogart 2015 just because she’s getting married on one day of the year. Here’s what I suggest you do- select the date you and your fiance want, book it at your dream venue, and let her get over it. If she’s going to throw a tantrum and remove you from the bridal party, let her. She’s the one who will look like an immature brat, not you. 

Post # 10
984 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Are you my twin?!

I’ve had the exact same problem,  circumstances and all.  My sis felt the same way.  Know what I did, and what I’m still doing? Whatever I want. Some day something will happen and it’ll hit her that it’s not the end of the world.  Don’t give up on what you want for the sake of her.

Post # 12
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Her wedding “year”  seriously?   Its not like you are getting married the weekend after her.  Shes being very selfish and good luck to her with the way she has been treating people.  She needs to get over helfself!

Post # 13
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

janellephant:  She is being ridiculous. I have three sisters and two of them got married last year and I got married this year. I like that we all celebrated such a wonderful milestone so close together!

Post # 14
1059 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - Loft

janellephant:  Jeeze. Sorry you have to deal with that. I also have a rocky relationship with my sister and she is very much the same since she is older and got engaged first. Their wedding is a month and 2 weeks exactly before ours.

Your sister sounds likea bully. Is being a brdiesmaid or Maid/Matron of Honor important to you? If that is all she can hold over your head then you have to decide if it is important to you. Personally I would book the wedding when you want to because it is your wedding and she is being unreasonable.

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