Sister/MOH passed away just last week and my wedding is September 2nd.

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁

My Dad died in 2013 and we’re going to have a photo of him placed somewhere subtle. A friend did something similar last year and it was nice – they placed it by the guest book and gift table.

The music I walk down the aisle to also has a strong link to my Dad, which I chose because obviously he can’t walk me down the aisle. I won’t be announcing it but I will know.

One of my friends lost both his parents in the year before his marriage. He chose to honour them during his speech, in which he of course said how grateful he was for raising him and linked that in with how happy he was to be joining his wife’s family. It was a really beautiful speech and got a good balance of honouring them without being morbid. I couldn’t do something like that myself because I know I’d cry, but he did a great job.

Just some ideas. I wish you all the best.

Post # 3
3353 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

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rockcastle92 :  my little brother was unexpectedly killed by a drunk driver two years before my wedding (1 year before my sister’s). We both used his bandana as a bouquet wrap, as well as had a memorial table with a picture on it. My officiant began our ceremony with a short moment of remembrance of those who couldn’t be with us today. We served pie instead of cake because my brother insisted that if he ever got married he’d have pie because it’s far superior to cake, lol. 

Post # 4
969 posts
Busy bee

I am very sorry for your loss. My father and both in laws passed several years before my wedding. I got my parents wedding picture and my husbands parents wedding picture and put them in 5×7 frames  with a simple candle and flower. It wasn’t memorial-like and depressing, it was beautiful moments of a lifetime proudly displayed. 

Post # 5
1891 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

Sorry for your loss.

You can have a picture of your sister near the guestbook, or a special song between you and your sister could be played or a reading a poem

Post # 6
4501 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am so sorry. 

I have also had a sibling pass away. I had a locket with his photo attached to my bouquet, and also made sure a special song that was important to us when we were growing up was played on the night. 

View original reply
catskillsinjune :  Your brother was absolutely correct, pie is superior. <3 Sorry for your loss.

Post # 7
1005 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

I’m so sorry, that’s just beyond rough. Is there something you could wear in your hair or a peice of jewelry you can wear?

Post # 8
1023 posts
Bumble bee

I’m sorry. That’s terrible.

I’ve been to weddings where a parent had died, and there was a nice framed picture of them in a place of hnour. Do you have anything of your sister’s that could be your “something old”?

Post # 9
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

You can wear a locket as your jewelry and put a small photo of your sister in it, so she will be with you all day. You can also incorporate some of her favorite things, like songs she really liked, or have your bouquet include her favorite flower or color. 

Post # 10
2567 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’m here with you, bee.

My father in law passed 5 weeks before our wedding. He had chosen the wine, so when I made my thank you speech I included about how he hand picked each bottle for us to celebrate. 

We also had framed pictures of him and my husband near the Chuppah and ketubah. 

No matter what you choose, she’ll be there with you. 

Post # 11
3512 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
rockcastle92 :  There’s a tradition in Brazil which you could adapt in honor of your sister. The tradition is for brides to put the names of their bridesmaids inside the hem of their dress. Perhaps you could do this, but instead of your BMs names, the name of your sister and one of her favorite poems or songs? 

Post # 12
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

If I were you I would do this as quietly as possible.  Your parents are going to be trying to find the balance between the joy of you getting married, and their very raw wound of losing her.

A charm on your bracelet, a piece of her favorite piece of clothing sewn inside your dress, or used to wrap your bouquet.

For your own piece of mind and that of your parents, I would do this as quietly as possible.

I am so very very sorry for your loss.  You will be very emotional just because you are getting married.  You will layer on top of that how glaringly apparent her absence is.  If you start putting pictures around for everyone to see, someone is going to end up a sobbing mess.

Please don’t leave an empty chair for her because someone will have to sit next to it.

Post # 13
8778 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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rockcastle92 :  I am beyond sorry to hear this. It is just horrible 🙁


Did she have a favorite song? Maybe that could be your first dance song?

Big hugs bee xxx 

Post # 14
10490 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss.

Did she have a favorite song/singer you can incorporate somewhere in the wedding? To honor my mom I walked down to a song by her favorite singer. 

Post # 15
132 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I agree with PP’s, playing some of your sister’s favorite songs throughout the nice would be a really sweet idea. Also, using something of hers for your “something old” is great. Maybe a necklace or pair of earrings?

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