Post # 1
I’ve never posted here before but thought I could connect with some of you..
My little sister and Maid of Honor passed away last week after spending the last 10 years battling a host of medical complications. My wedding is on September 2, 2018 and I am devestated to hold the event without her. My fiance, family and I have made the decision to proceed as planned as that is what she would have wanted.
What are your suggestions to incorporate her in the big day without making the event seem too solem and like a memorial service? This is very raw and it still will be on that day so I want to make sure she is honored and her presence is felt on that day without making myself, my family and my guests too emotional or uncomfortable.
Thank you, truly, for your help!
Post # 2
I’m so sorry for your loss 🙁
My Dad died in 2013 and we’re going to have a photo of him placed somewhere subtle. A friend did something similar last year and it was nice – they placed it by the guest book and gift table.
The music I walk down the aisle to also has a strong link to my Dad, which I chose because obviously he can’t walk me down the aisle. I won’t be announcing it but I will know.
One of my friends lost both his parents in the year before his marriage. He chose to honour them during his speech, in which he of course said how grateful he was for raising him and linked that in with how happy he was to be joining his wife’s family. It was a really beautiful speech and got a good balance of honouring them without being morbid. I couldn’t do something like that myself because I know I’d cry, but he did a great job.
Just some ideas. I wish you all the best.
Post # 3
my little brother was unexpectedly killed by a drunk driver two years before my wedding (1 year before my sister’s). We both used his bandana as a bouquet wrap, as well as had a memorial table with a picture on it. My officiant began our ceremony with a short moment of remembrance of those who couldn’t be with us today. We served pie instead of cake because my brother insisted that if he ever got married he’d have pie because it’s far superior to cake, lol.
Post # 4
I am very sorry for your loss. My father and both in laws passed several years before my wedding. I got my parents wedding picture and my husbands parents wedding picture and put them in 5×7 frames with a simple candle and flower. It wasn’t memorial-like and depressing, it was beautiful moments of a lifetime proudly displayed.
Post # 5
- Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre
Sorry for your loss.
You can have a picture of your sister near the guestbook, or a special song between you and your sister could be played or a reading a poem
Post # 6
I am so sorry.
I have also had a sibling pass away. I had a locket with his photo attached to my bouquet, and also made sure a special song that was important to us when we were growing up was played on the night.
Your brother was absolutely correct, pie is superior. <3 Sorry for your loss.
Post # 7
I’m so sorry, that’s just beyond rough. Is there something you could wear in your hair or a peice of jewelry you can wear?
Post # 8
I’m sorry. That’s terrible.
I’ve been to weddings where a parent had died, and there was a nice framed picture of them in a place of hnour. Do you have anything of your sister’s that could be your “something old”?
Post # 9
You can wear a locket as your jewelry and put a small photo of your sister in it, so she will be with you all day. You can also incorporate some of her favorite things, like songs she really liked, or have your bouquet include her favorite flower or color.
Post # 10
I’m here with you, bee.
My father in law passed 5 weeks before our wedding. He had chosen the wine, so when I made my thank you speech I included about how he hand picked each bottle for us to celebrate.
We also had framed pictures of him and my husband near the Chuppah and ketubah.
No matter what you choose, she’ll be there with you.
Post # 11
There’s a tradition in Brazil which you could adapt in honor of your sister. The tradition is for brides to put the names of their bridesmaids inside the hem of their dress. Perhaps you could do this, but instead of your BMs names, the name of your sister and one of her favorite poems or songs?
Post # 12
If I were you I would do this as quietly as possible. Your parents are going to be trying to find the balance between the joy of you getting married, and their very raw wound of losing her.
A charm on your bracelet, a piece of her favorite piece of clothing sewn inside your dress, or used to wrap your bouquet.
For your own piece of mind and that of your parents, I would do this as quietly as possible.
I am so very very sorry for your loss. You will be very emotional just because you are getting married. You will layer on top of that how glaringly apparent her absence is. If you start putting pictures around for everyone to see, someone is going to end up a sobbing mess.
Please don’t leave an empty chair for her because someone will have to sit next to it.
Post # 13
I am beyond sorry to hear this. It is just horrible 🙁
Did she have a favorite song? Maybe that could be your first dance song?
Big hugs bee xxx
Post # 14
Firstly, I’m so sorry for your loss.
Did she have a favorite song/singer you can incorporate somewhere in the wedding? To honor my mom I walked down to a song by her favorite singer.
Post # 15
I am so, so sorry for your loss.
I agree with PP’s, playing some of your sister’s favorite songs throughout the nice would be a really sweet idea. Also, using something of hers for your “something old” is great. Maybe a necklace or pair of earrings?