Post # 1
So my sister is my maid of honor and wants to wear a minimum 4 inch heel. She’s 5’6″ without heels and I’m 5’4. She’s always been taller than me and usually wears 4 inch heels in her day to day life.
During our fittings, I asked her to wear 3 inch heels so that she wouldn’t tower over me during the wedding and so it will look nicer for photos. I’m planning on wearing 6 inch heels so that would make us both 5’9″ if she wears the 3 inchers. My sister practically threw a hissy fit in David’s Bridal over it: “I’m going to be taller than you no matter what shoes we wear anyway…I always wear at least 4 inch heels…if I wear shorter than that, then I have to hem the dress really short and I won’t be able to wear this bridesmaids dress agian and I’m paying for it…bla bla bla.”
I haven’t been picky at all about what they wear (they chose their own dresses, shoe colors, hair, makeup, jewelry looks, etc.) and Idon’t think it’s unreasonable for me to ask her to wear a max of 3 inch heels instead of her usual 4 inches.
Originally I even offered to pay for all the Bridesmaid or Best Man outfits, but they didn’t like the style I chose so I let them pick everything on their own.
I don’t know, I just felt really frustrated and annoyed because it seemed really selfish of her to not respect the one single request I made about the shoes when she got to decide everything else about her look. I get the feeling that if I wasn’t her sister, but rather just a friend she would have been a lot more respectful and not argued with me about it. But since we’re sisters she’s used to debating stuff with me more than friends, of course!
I’m just mad because I really haven’t asked for anything else on this and she’s fighting me about 1 inch! All the other BMs are my height or shorter so it’s not an issue but it really just seems unreasonable of her to refuse the one request I have. It’s not like I’m asking her to wear flats, or asking something impossible as if she were 6 feet tall and I demanded that she be shorter than me somehow.
Also the best man she’s walking with is 5’8″ so if she wears 3 inchers she’ll still be a bit taller than him but not by too much.
I dunno…my sister has a history of being difficult at times but I just figured she would do me this one favor on my wedding day.
What do you guys think? Am I completely crazy here to ask for this? What should I do?
Post # 3
Let her wear the tall shoes. She’s the one who’ll stick out. 6″ heels sounds really difficult to walk in, for you, though…!!
Post # 4
Let it go, why stress about how she is going to look in heels. Do you really want to fight with your sister on this. In the end it isn’t going to matter, everyone will know who the bride is and won’t be wisphering OMG her sister is taller than her….
Post # 5
It’s only 1 inch, let her wear the 4 inch heels. An extra inch isn’t going to the end of the world aesthetic wise.
I’m more concerned about you wearing 6″ heels! Hopefully they have a platform more than 1″!
Post # 6
This is one issue that I’ll never have with brothers 😉 Honestly, I would not make a big deal over an inch. If she normally wears 4 inch heels, then I would let it be. If you really want to appear to be the tallest sister, make your hair more raised than hers.
Post # 7
She won’t be towering over you by being 1″ taller than you. I think you should let wear the 4″ heels. I personally also wear 4″ heels on a daily basis so I wouldn’t want to pay for a 3″ heel I’d never wear again.
Post # 8
Oh sweetie. There has got to be something else more important that you can worry about. You’re really being very silly about this.
This is your sister. Who cares if she’s a smidge taller than you in photos? Who cares if she is a smidge taller than the groomsman who walks with her down the aisle? NO ONE! No one will notice.
Honestly, what would you do if your sister was 5’10 in real life? Chop her off at the ankles to make her the same height as you for your wedding day? 🙂
Time to move on to worrying about something more important, such as maintaining a relationship with your sister so that she still likes you after your wedding is over…..
Post # 9
I can totaly understand your frustration since you’re being so lenient about everything else but I have to agree with PPs that you should let it go. I don’t think it will be a big deal at all if she’s an inch taller than you or a bit taller than her escort. This is what she normally wears and it’s SO not worth fighting over. It’s just not that big a deal. Not worth your stress. For picutres you could always stand on a step above her!
Post # 10
Personally if my sister/MOH said that to me, I’d probably smack her for being a brat. 🙂 That said, just let it go. You could mention to the photographer that you want the pics to look good and suggest that he/she have her step out of the heels for photos (if the dress is long). Otherwise, let her look awkward! It’s her own fault!
Post # 11
My sister (MOH) and my cousin (bridesmaid) are both 5’9″ or 5’10” and I am 5’7″. I am wearing about 3 inch heels so I’m not as tall as Fiance, but who cares what they wear? They will be taller than me regardless. No one will be thinking “oh look at how tall that bridesmaid is!” They’ll be looking at you!
Post # 12
@Miss Root: Ok, so I totally get that we’re talking 1 inch here and of course if my sister was 6 feet tall that’s just how it is and I would just ask if she could wear flats pretty please. But as it is, she’s perfectly able to be the same height as me or shorter if she just wears a slightly lower heel. I’m not asking for the impossible. I’m not forcing them to buy a hideous dress they’ll never wear again that is super expensive, or uncomfortable shoes. I haven’t dictated anything about their look at all, and completely left it up to them. I had this one request, and everything else I was cool with.
Maybe you guys are all right, and I’m being bridezilla about the shoe thing. But how can it really be bridezilla-ish if this is the ony thing I’ve asked for and everything else I’ve been super flexible on?
Post # 13
I wore flats at my wedding and my MOH/cousin still wanted to wear gigantic heels. It did kind of bug me and I really wanted them to wear flats…but in the end I had enough to worry about without adding her height/shoes to the list. On the day of the wedding it definitely wasn’t on my mind.
Post # 14
I think she is being a brat also and it’s sillier she is being difficult about shoe height then it is the bride who is concerned with HER wedding photos. I understand your frustrations. I will let you know
My SIL and Bridesmaid or Best Man who is already 2 inches taller than me wore higher heels than I did as well and I just looked at my photos to see why I didn’t notice it and surprisingly somehow the photographer made her look same height and in some photos even a bit shorter
Post # 15
I don’t know, I think your sister is being a huge brat and should just do what you want, seeing as you’re the bride and all. You’ve been super flexible about everything else, why can she not handle wearing ONE pair of shoes on YOUR wedding day.
Post # 16
I don’t think it’s worth it to get into it over an inch. Honestly, is it really going to be THAT noticable in pictures that she’s an inch taller than you? It’s not like she’ll be towering a foot over you or antyhing. I think you should just let this one go. So not worth it.