(Closed) Sister’s Baby – Advice Needed

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I would jsut tell them point blank that its unfair, and no she can’t come. Remind them they did the same for their wedding. They will get over it. 

Post # 4
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

This is your first step in uniting together as a team. Stand with him and put your foot down. I know that’s hard, but if you said no to FI’s family then you must say no to yours, because on that day, they all become your family.

Post # 6
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Belle Italia: Tell them that you’re sad that they feel that way and it would make you feel terrible if they missed out on watching you get married, but you understand them having strong convictions about this topic as you do yourself. Then don’t say anything else. You’re not doing anything wrong.

Post # 7
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Stand your ground. It would be unfair, esp since she did the same thing at her wedding.

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@mwitter80: that’s what I would say too. Hopefully, they will see how ridiculous they are acting, and get over it. Just like people can’t expect you to put off having babies to coincide with a wedding, they can’t expect you to make exceptions for them just because they now have one.  Stick to your guns, and keep repeating the same thing over and over if necessary. But don’t give in, cuz it will just add to the drama of his family not being able to bring their kids

Post # 9
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

You can request she leave the baby at home but don’t be surprised if your own sister isn’t at your wedding. I would’ve never left my daughter at that age for a Destination Wedding. If it were a 3 hr car ride that’d be fine but I’m assuming with flights and if she’s in the bridal party it’ll be 3 or 4 days. Unless you expect her husband to stay home with the baby, which I guess could be a solution. I personally wouldn’t do it but everyone’s different. Yes she made the same request at her wedding but now that she’s a parent obviously she feels differently. It’s a tough situation.

Post # 10
Member
46422 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I see room for compromise here. There is no reason she can’t bring the baby to Italy. They do have children there in August.

They can get a hotel room,air-conditioned  if they want,and have the hotel hire a professional child minder for the duration of the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@julies1949:

Agree with this. Or maybe a friend they trust or BIL’s parents can come and stay with baby during the wedding. Who doesn’t want a trip to Italy?

Post # 13
Member
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Just gotta love the hypocrasy of some people. She had her wedding, made the exact same request, but now she’s trying to act brand new?. Wow. I think the suggestion of travel aide is the best compromise, otherwise defintely stand firm. Its your wedding and you have every right to have is executed how you see fit.

Post # 14
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I also agree with julies1949….if they want to bring the baby with them, that’s fine, but they also need to bring someone to watch the child.  

Post # 15
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I think the decision is up to you and your fiancee.  It is nice to take into account other’s feelings, but you must go with you and your fiancee’s vision of your wedding day.  Remember, no matter what decision you make, someone will be dissatisfied.  So do what makes you and fiancee happy for YOUR wedding day.  Do not go out of the way to make someone else happy while sacrificing your own happiness….

Post # 16
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Our Bridesmaid/Groomsman couple who are also new parents are bringing their baby to the wedding location, and then leaving him with her mother (who is making the trip up) for the day of the wedding. It is perfectly acceptable not to have any babies at a wedding, as your sister is aware, because she made the same request. It is less reasonable to insist your sister leave the baby in another country.

As for your parents, sit them down and say “Mom, Dad, when BabysMom was having her wedding, you supported her decision to not include children. If you’re not willing to support my SAME DECISION than I am very hurt and insulted”

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