Post # 1
So I have a situation. I already have a flower girl and ring bearer which are children of cousins. Since then my sister (MOH) has gotten cozy with a man that has 2 kids. Some family members are not thrilled about the relationship, surrounding circumstances, and are hoping that the relationship does not last. My sister says that she is sure that she will marry this man and that she really wants the kids in the wedding. I have told her no on putting her boyfriends children into the wedding. However she keeps asking me to reconsider and sending me pictures of the children.
I don’t know what to do.. I feel that in order to maintian an good relationship with my sister I need to put his children in the wedding. However, I really don’t want to look back someday if they break up and see her ex’s children in my wedding photos. Additionally since we already have asked children to be in the wedding (and the family is traveling a long ways for the wedding) I do not want to offend their parents by adding an additional kids at the last minute.
What would you do?… Advice is welcome
Post # 3
No – he is just a boyfriend (and it sounds like a recent one at that). At this point, you have no ties to these kids. I wouldn’t include them.
If they were her children (or they were married and they were her step-children), sure. But the kids of a new boyfriend – no.
Post # 4
You don’t know this man or his children very well right? If that’s the case, then I would tell her no. Your sister will get over it.
Post # 5
Nope, I would tell her no once again and to stop asking because it isn’t going to happen. It sounds like a pretty new relationship and you are correct, you don’t want them in the pictures if/when they break up, it’s weird and honestly a bit rude of your sister to keep pushing the subject if you already said no once.
Post # 6
Um no way! Just bc she’s dating someone doesn’t mean she has the right to ask you to put their kid in your wedding. I’d put my foot down now.
Post # 7
No this is your wedding not hers
Post # 8
My fiance’s brother’s girlfriend actually asked to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. We were never close and they had only been on and off again for 1.5 years. I am thanking goodness she wasn’t because just this week they broke up! How would I have explained the rando in my wedding pics! I would just say that you already have some little guys traveling to be in your wedding and that you wouldn’t want to upset them. Nobody sees themselves breaking up with someone they are head over heels with, but it happens!
Post # 9
OK, thank you everyone for your thoughts. I just wanted to make sure I was not being harsh or unresonable in sticking to saying no to her.
Post # 10
Your sister does not get to make any decisions regarding your wedding.
All of your reasons against the decision are good enough!
Post # 11
I would say hell no and tell her to back the hell off. It doesn’t matter if they were already married – it’s still YOUR decision and she has no say in the matter.
Post # 13
Gald you stood firm and said no to the kids!