(Closed) Sister’s Life Choices (sorry….kind of long)

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1356 posts
Bumble bee

Oh my heart breaks for you. I am going through a very similar situation with my sister. I know what you are feeling – she is supposed to be my maid of honor in August and I have no idea if she will be coming. She hasn’t been communicating with my family for the past five months. I have been struggling with the question of whether or not to put someone in her place. I have a friend who is my "alternate", but she knows if my sister shows up, my friend will just take a seat. But that still leaves me wondering what to put in the program. I also don’t want to be on that day, hoping she will show up. i have no real advice for you, just know I will be praying for you and your sister. And that I’m here if you need someone who understands where you are coming from.

Post # 4
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I’ll be praying for your relationship with your sister, I am so so sorry, I have two sisters, one who doesn’t always make the best choices, but nothing that bad. I hope you are able to sit with her and have a heart to heart and get her the help she needs.

Does she seem open to going to a crisis center, or any type of facility, does she wanna stop doing drugs? Can you hook her up with an intervention or something?

O this is such a stressful time, don’t need that on top of it, I’ll be praying for both of you.

Post # 5
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Oh my dear, I am so sorry. It would be a terrible thing to deal with at any time, but doubly so right now. I don’t know what to advise, but I will pray for you both.

Post # 6
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Sending you hugs. I went through this over and over again with my brother and you can’t help them until they want help, and it is SO hard on you and your family. I spent many a sleepless nights, too. I hope she finds her way. If you need to chat, feel free to PM me. Not sure how much help I would be, nothing seemed to work except rehab and he had to hit rock bottom a few times until he was open to the idea. But once he was open to the idea, it really worked.

Post # 8
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

This is so sad, I am so sorry. One of my and my FI’s best friends was busted for dealing and doing drugs a little over a year ago- we were completely shocked, had no idea he was doing drugs at all, and this guy was honestly like family to us (ate dinner with him all the time, saw him at least once a day, the whole nine yards.) It was a very sad and hard thing, but thankfully our friend has completely turned himself around and is going to be in our wedding party.

I only hope for the best for you and your sister. As unfortunate as it is, I think you need to start preparing for her to not be there. I would not have her as your maid of honor, but I would invite her to the wedding and encourage her to come and tell her how much it would mean to you to have her there on such a special occasion.

It sounds like your sister is really taking a serious toll on you mentally. You may find it beneficial to seek out some counseling or a support group, so that you can talk to other people about what is happening and find some peace about it and refocus on your upcoming marriage.

Good luck.

Post # 9
7052 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would put the wedding related issues aside with regards to her as it sounds as if she is in need of a family intervention.

There is no good time for such an event, even in the midst of your joyous occation..your wedding.  But it would seem that it has to be done..when is up to you and your family.

I’m keeping you, you sister and family in prayers and sending hugs too. 

"  <span class=”body”><font size=”2″>Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.</font> "–my favorite quote by Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe 

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