Post # 1
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee
So I got my 6 Bm dresses made off etsy from a seller that I will do a review on tomorrow probably… but I need to vent before I go bananas on my sister. My sister is the MOH. She has been less than supportive and done basically nothing for me thus far. This is a side of her personality I didnt know existed & this wedding is def. bringing out the worst in her. So I had my moms thanksgiving today and lately my sister has been in a fould mood everytime I see her… with no explanation, just jabs and sarcasm all night. FUN! So I mentioned to her that the BM dresses were finally done & I had brought them since mom asked to see them all. I mentioned her trying hers on and seeing how the fit was.. She replies with, “Ugh, sure… Sounds fantastic after I eat all this turkey.” — Im like Alllllriiighty then. I offered to try them on BEFORE we ate, she said no. I could tell she wasnt thrilled, which isnt surprising anymore. So we go back after dinner to try them on & hers was a bit large in the bust and a bit tight in the hips… The corset back was also not laying right on her behind because it was too tight. I told her I would contact the seller & see if I send the dress back, can she let it out/fix the dress for extra cost, etc… My sister looked miserable and said the dress wasnt her cup of tea, but she will have to make it work. She then starts bitching about how she is planning on getting pregnant & how the hell would she fit in the dress pregnant if she was struggling now… Mind you, these were from HER measurements… so?? What can I do about that? & when I ordered my dresses, she wasnt actively trying to get pregnant — she decided she was trying 2 weeks ago… SO again, I cant control what she does…
So she takes the dress off, storms out of the room & doesnt even bother to look at ANY of the other 5 dresses (they are all different styles) I then hear her loudly complaining to her husband & my FI in the living room that the dress is “UGLY” & “Looks Hidius” on her & the color is “Terrible” — She then said mom & I couldnt even get the corset on right & what the hell was the point of buying dresses from your measurements if they dont fit perfectly?!?! She also complained that shes pale & the dress clashes with her skin tone…
So Im sitting there almost in tears like REALLY?!??! This is what I get from my SISTER, my MOH. The truth is… my sister is a heavyset girl, so naturally shes going to have a harder time finding a flattering dress… but apparantly now that Ive paid for this dress, she hates it. Woulda been nice to be beforehand. The dresses were 118$ each, so its also not like these were couture gowns…
Im just venting because I am so sick of my sister dragging me down & hating everything wedding related. I supported her on her day a few years ago… and she has not done the same in return. She causes me grief & I feel sad everytime I see her because she just attacks me all night with rude comments.
What advice do you have for me bees?
Also, Im attaching a photo of her just in the dress not even corseted up perfectly, just to get an idea… Does it look so terrible? It will need some alterations, but I even offered to buy her a new dress./.. what the hell else can I do???
Post # 3
Member
434 posts
Helper bee
If your bridesmaids agreed on the price (or did you pay?) then they don’t get too much of a say in the dresses, as long as they are reasonable (not too short, cleavage baring, etc). I say let it go and let her complain, stand up for yourself and tell her that theses are the dresses you’ve chosen, and she can choose to wear it and stand up for you on your wedding day, or not wear it and attend the wedding as a guest.
Post # 5
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee
The second photo we literally just laced it up as fast as possible to get the overall look of it — and it wouldnt lace up tight enough on her bum so my mom held it together – because it was too tight on her hips…
Post # 6
Member
1157 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t know I think it looks ok haha…it’s probably one of the more flattering styles for her body shape. I see the corset issue, but I’m sure you can find a local seamstress or alterations shop that could create an illusion corset back with a zipper underneath to make it lay better and still match the others.
The color is fine. The style is fine. She needs to pull her big girl panties up and get over it.
Post # 7
Member
1202 posts
Bumble bee
I don’t see any photo… however, it sounds like she just might be feeling insecure. It’s a bummer that she took it out on you, but maybe she’s been having some body woes lately. I would wait a few days and bring it up again.
Post # 8
Member
45541 posts
Honey Beekeeper
@Barbiestylez: I am sorry you are having to deal with this.Although we love our sisters, we don’t have to like them, or their behavior. I have one sister who is a used and a taker. I have had to learn to not let her take constant advantage.
You cannot change your sister or her behavior, but you can decide that her reaction just isn’t all that important to you. Stop letting her push your buttons.
Did you keep a copy of the measurements you sent the Etsy seller? That’s the first thing I would check. Did she make the dress to fit those measurements? Clothing always needs some extra room added to the base measurement for comfort, so the dress should measure up to 2 ” larger than the measurements you sent her. If the dress doesn’t have this extra allowance, she should alter the dress for free or provide a new one.
Post # 9
Member
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
@Barbiestylez: This really is about your sister feeling insecure, overweight, and miserable. As someone who is plus-sized, I know I find it very challenging to find a dress that I look really good in, so I can imagine her frustration at having to be on display in a garment in which she feels unattractive.
I would try not to take this too personally and to have compassion on your sister, while, at the same time, not allowing her negatively to affect your happiness or plans for your big day.
To the extent that you can, I would give your sister some concrete, constructive options, based upon your research with the seller. After you learn what is and is not possible, you could sit down with your sister and say:
“I’m so sorry you’re unhappy about the dress. I’ve spoken with the seller, and we do have some options. Please let me know which of these you would prefer …” and then let her know what they are.
I hope everything turns out well for you both.
Post # 10
Member
2761 posts
Sugar bee
I thnk the way it’s cut is making her appear a little wider in the hips. Is there an option with a higher waistline that she might like more?
Post # 11
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee
Thank you ladies. I offered to buy another dress. What hurts me is her like talking shit about how the dress is ugly as hell.. It isnt… and I cant change her weight.. .I struggle myself… but to take it out on me and be so mean is not cool. I offered to buy her another dress… she just blew me off and walked away.
Post # 12
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
@Barbiestylez: I think you’ve done more than your part by offering to buy her another dress. If she doesn’t want to accept your help then that’s her problem.
Post # 13
Member
75 posts
Worker bee
I think buying things like this online is tricky without trying them on beforehand (not excusing her actions). I think the dress is pretty. If this is how her attitude has been the whole time, have you thought about replacing her as MOH? It’s not fair for her to bring you down during what is supposed to be a happy time and if she indeed gets pregnant, it seems that may only add more tension.
Post # 14
Member
8490 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
@Barbiestylez: I think she has a right to be upset with it. Its not fitting right on her at all. I cant tell if its because its not laced right or because it just doesnt fit her well. It doesnt look right in the chest. The straps look like they’re leaning more to one side when they should be in the middle. It also looks like the ruching might be more centered to one side, which is also pretty unflattering.
Idk, it might just be bad pictures, but I dont think it looks well made. It just looks really uneven.
Post # 15
Member
3066 posts
Sugar bee
@allyfally: the are supposed to be leaning to one side… It’s not supposed to be centered. The bust is a bit big and the straps too long… Small changes. i paid for the dress btw so she isn’t out any money , I am. I can’t make people look like supermodels… So idk what kind of dress she would be happy with. The other dresses I tried on fit me pretty nicely and they weren’t even made for me .
Post # 16
Member
1283 posts
Bumble bee
@Barbiestylez: That’s really nice of you to offer to buy her another dress. Maybe give her a few days to get out of the funk she’s in and email her the etsy seller’s site and have her pick a dress she likes. Then it is her choice and not a dress she is ‘forced’ to wear. If she is TTC, an empire style dress with a corset back so that it’s adjustable might work.
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