Post # 1
So I posted this to vent and get some good advice. But I’m deleting my original post because 1. I’m a little tipsy and should know better than to air dirty laundry and 2. If I keep this post up in it’s entirety, I’m almost sure the subject of this post will find it, and then I’ll reeeeally be in hot water.
But I’m grateful that I did post this, because the people who responded were very thoughtful and I have a lot to think about. 🙂 Namely, I should be lucky that I have a sister, and that I should really keep my nose in my business. You guys are a good bunch- thanks again.
Post # 3
I mean, what she is spending on her wedding isn’t really your concern if it isn’t coming out of your pocket, so I wouldn’t include that as a factor.
I understand your frusteration with your sister about not giving you due notice about her wedding, and if you aren’t close, and genuinely don’t want to be there, then don’t go.
But, if you really would like to be a part of your sisters special day (again), then I say go.
Post # 4
Thanks for the feedback, Miss Orchard, I appreciate it. 🙂
Post # 5
I say yes only because I’m an only child and always wanted a sister. You actually have one, who wants to include you in her celebration, so I think you should go. Maybe it would help bring you closer, if that’s what you want.
If you truly feel that it’s against some moral standard you have [ie: blowing money she could wisely invest in something else], then by all means, stay home. I’m not you, so I definitely can’t tell you what to decide, but if it was me, I’d go.
Post # 6
So stop sending her money, no matter what stupid sob-story she concocts. Send the kids clothes (with sales tags removed) and books and toys if you want to do things for them.
Unfortunately, it’s her money, her credit, her debt and her business. As long as her children are not being neglected, it’s not your business how she spends her money regarding them either.
But as to whether or not you will attend this vow renewal of hers, basically it boils down to how much of a relationship you want to maintain with her. If you don’t attend, that will have a large negative impact on your relationship with her and your neices and nephews. All that she is doing is being self centered and irresponsible with her finances–personally I am not of the opinion that this is a tie-cutting offense at this point in time but if you feel that strongly about it, then do not attend.
I totally understand the desire to shake some sense into her–it’s not her life she’s screwing around with, it’s her kids’ lives too. It’s just some Disney Princess fantasy that she is acting out and it’s unbecoming and infuriating to watch. But I think that the consequences of not attending are a bit higher than you want to be paying.
Post # 7
Thanks, TriciaAndDazzling, I appreciate your feedback. 🙂 You’re right, I do feel blessed to have her in my life, I know I’m not the only family member who is in awe of this whole situation. I’d be very surprised if anyone in our immediate family goes at this point.
Post # 8
“I totally understand the desire to shake some sense into her–it’s not her life she’s screwing around with, it’s her kids’ lives too. It’s just some Disney Princess fantasy that she is acting out and it’s unbecoming and infuriating to watch.”
Are you in my brain, zomgwut?? Maybe all I need to do is just vent… haha.
Seriously, though, our relationship has been so fractured over the last few years that this silly fiasco has become a bigger deal than it ever should have been. Thanks for hearing me out. 🙂
Post # 9
If it was anyone else but your sister I would probably say don’t go but this is your sister and regardless fo whether you have a close relationship or not this could create huge family drama including her restricting you from seeing your neices/nephews.
@zomgwut: I agree just send clothes, food, toys for the kids if you are concerned about them but I would probably even stop that aside from birthday/xmas presents. the more you enable her the more she will ask.