Post # 1
I am having a HUGE dillema in choosing my Maid/Matron of Honor. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 3 years old.. we are now 23 & 24. Before boys ever came along… I always thought she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor when the day came for me to get married. She knows me better than anyone! I have two younger sisters ages 16 & 19. Because of the age gap… we aren’t particulary too close. I love them to death and they mean so much to me but I didn’t plan on them being MOH’s. When I got engaged my best friend was so excited for me and I told her that of course I would love for her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor… I didn’t even have to think twice about it! Well my mom found out and became HYSTERICAL! She immediately assumed that my sisters would be MOH’s and that what I was doing was so wrong. She threatened not to pay for my wedding so I said FINE we’ll have it your way. My younger sisters could care less about being MOH’s… they were just excited being bridesmaids. They don’t know how to plan a party (they won’t even be old enough for a bachelorette party), and they don’t work. They are not at all the type to do a toast either! What do I do? My best friend is already coming up with all types of ideas and taking on Maid/Matron of Honor duties.. she is so excited. Do I have THREE MOH’s or just talk to my mom and explain that I only want one?
Post # 3
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pay for your own wedding and have your best friend as your MOH!
Post # 4
@Mrs. Schnauzer: Stand up to your mother and tell her that you will choose your own attendants and pay for your own wedding or do what the person who is laying out several thousands of dollars to throw your wedding wants you to do. Those are your choices.
Just because your sisters are called Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t mean that your best friend, who knows what to do and is excited to do so can’t do what she was going to do anyway. I did all the Maid/Matron of Honor duties for a friend of mine, including endless shopping and discussions over details, bustling her dress and throwing her bachelorette party and I wasn’t even IN the wedding party.
Post # 5
Maid/Matron of Honor is about what she means to you and her activity in the wedding. Sounds like she is 100% the Maid/Matron of Honor. If your mom is going to be a pain about it, then let her believe what she wants. If she’s talking about not paying for the wedding for something so silly then just don’t have an official Maid/Matron of Honor where she is concerned. She can just be surprised on the day of the wedding when there’s only one Maid/Matron of Honor toast 🙂
Post # 6
I was in the exact same situation…except mine was younger by 1 year sister who is my best and my older sister who I really don’t like all that much. I made my older sister my Maid/Matron of Honor only for the reason that my little sister is a free bird and does NOTHING by the book and wants no responsibility what so ever at my wedding except to drink and dance. But my mom, aunts, and grandmother all cornered me and starting telling me that it was only right to choose my older sister because she is older…like that makes sense.
Like I said, if it weren’t for my little sister being so damn flighty I would have chosen her. So do what YOU WANT TO DO! This is YOUR wedding! Your one day in your entire life that is all about you and the man you love. Tell your mom this. Let her know that you will happily find a way to pay for your own wedding and that it’s very important to have your best friend up there with you. Let her know that your sisters don’t have money, don’t know how or what to plan for a wedding and so on. Hopefully she will then see that you are right in having your best friend as Maid/Matron of Honor. I’m sure she willlighten up and everything will work out fine! Good luck!
Post # 7
Have two MOH! Or is you’re friend married? Then you can have a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor! Everybody wins!
Post # 8
Just state you are not having a Maid/Matron of Honor, just 3 BMs and let your best friend be “acting” Maid/Matron of Honor. If she is your Boyfriend or Best Friend she will completely understand.
Post # 10
Thanks for the advice ladies!! Im going to talk to my sisters and then to my mom. Im just going to tell her what I want and that it’s my wedding.. not hers!