Post # 1
My sister just got married at the beginning of this year, and I am starting to plan my own. I am way excited, but everyone keeps talking about her wedding and how great it was. Then they look at me and ask me how I am going to top it. Every time someone asks me that, it lets a little wind out of my sail. Her wedding was great and we all had a blast. I practically planned it myself. The wedding I am planning is totally different from hers. I want a formal sit-down affair with a live band. Her wedding was during the day, buffet style, with a DJ. The main difference that I know people will talk about is the fact that she had an open bar and my Fiance and I are not. He is a man of the cloth, so flowing alcohol is not appropriate. I plan on having wine with dinner, but that is about it. My friends are big drinkers, so I am not sure how much fun they will have without it. I know my wedding will be fabulous, but I don’t want it to be compared to hers. I am thinking about just doing something really small and just having family. It isn’t my dream wedding, but I don’t want people to talk about my wedding and how lame it was compared to my sisters. Anybody else gone thru this? Any advice?
Post # 3
I think that you should plan the wedding you want and invite whomever you want to share the day with. A year is a long time (you’re planning for next year I gather?), and I suspect people will forget. What you are discussing sounds lovely, and very, very different from hers. People can appreciate very different things. The two best weddings I’ve ever attended were completely opposite. One was my sister’s multi-day, lavish wedding with elegant sit down dinner. The other was my FI’s childhood friend’s small church wedding followed by community center reception with a veggie platter and some pasta in a chafing dish. It all depends on the sincerity with which you plan your wedding and the genuineness of your desire to share your special day with those you care about. Your friends are there to share this experience with you…and they are your friends based on who you are. If who you are wants an elegant sit down without a big open bar, then they’ll enjoy the day with you in that way.
Post # 4
my brother’s wedding was 6 months before my own. i was worried as well– and he was always talking about how I could never top his wedding before it even happened — It got me a little annoyed, and I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to. His had a live band, more people, bigger ballroom… etc.
Mine, was small and intimate, but everyone (almost the same guest list) talked about how amazing my wedding was. We really weren’t even trying to top his because his was so extravagant… I think when you focus on your own wedding and what YOU want, it comes out much more beautiful and lovely. People actually enjoyed that it was much more intimate and they all said how they could feel the love (corny, yes.) It’s true though.
Focus on your wedding and since you already said it’s going to be completely different, I don’t think people will still compare (in a bad way). good luck!
Post # 5
Do what you want! People will understand. If they ask how you’ll top it just say it will be completely different and reflect your personalities, if they love you, they’ll love it. Let your friends know there will be no booze at the reception so they can expect it and get over it. I’m sure it will be a great affair that is completely memorable in its own way.
Post # 6
Don’t compare yourself to others because if you did, you won’t be contented with what you have. Do whatever makes you happy and forget about what other people are going to say.
Post # 7
wow, i understand what you are going through alittle. Just try to plan your own wedding. Make it you and your fiances. Your friends and family will talk about how great it is, when they see the love you to have for each other. That is what I keep my telling myself, as well.
My step sister got engaged about 5 months after me. Me and my fiance have been planning our wedding since november. Now all of a sudden she is having her wedding a month before mine. I’m alittle annoyed, but not that much because I knew they would be different and have different guests. But now, I just found out her small intimate wedding will be larger than mine, 140 guests, full band etc. And my father said they may even use the same venue that mine is at!!! I am LIVID about the venue. He doesn’t understand the problem. His wife – my step mother – constantly talks about how amazing her daughter is and then bashes me and my fiance. So natrually there is jealously and insecurity there. Now, I find out that she is planning on having her wedding at the same venue as me. I just feel that it will take away some of the specialness and uniqueness (it is not a typical wedding venue, it is a jazz club).
Unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about it. So like I said, just plan your wedding. Show you and your fiances personalities. People will be happy to share your special day with you two!! Have fun planning!!!