(Closed) Sister’s wedding….ugh!

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Honestly, I think she is wrong.  I wouldn’t pick a month to get married that a sibling or someone I was close to wanted to get married during that month. So I would be ticked off by that.

Is there anyway that you can get married this winter/next winter (since your FH is off at the end of the year)?

I also, think it is wrong for your sister to not be sensitve about your feelings towards flying. Is there anyway that you can get a parent to mediate and reason with her?

Post # 4
Member
14495 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am sorry, I don’t even know what advice to give you.  I have a Fiance that also works on the road 9 months a year.  I don’t think that most people have a realistic comprehension of our lives even though they have known us for many years.  You really can’t understand it unless you live it.  Good luck with your sister.

Post # 6
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Laura27: That sucks. I think you should just do what works best for you and your FH. Since she is only throwing around ideas. I would just pick my date if I were you. Then if she gets angry, just tell her that you already told her the month that you and your FH wanted to get married. I know it sounds childish, but I would try to beat her to the punch. lol

Post # 8
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Laura27: You may also want to check into ports in Gavelston, TX. You could even get married on a cruise.

Post # 10
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I dont understand why your hubby to be isnt asking for time off and just setting a date. I udnerstand not asking for time off for every tom , dick and harry thing that comes along….but your wedding?! COME ON!

I think you need to do what YOU WANT, set a time and a date and your hubby to be needs to ask for two weeks off ASAP. One week for the wedding and one for a short honeymoon.

I seriously know how you feel though. When i got engaged my sister (who wasnt engaged yet) told me (after i set my date) that she is going to have her wedding either two weeks before or after mine, i was so devestated and hurt…I even said straight out…dont you think thats a little weird? She was soooo angry. Two months later she got engaged. She has planned her wedding the weekend that we were supposed to be in Greece for our one year anniversary/honeymoon (we cant afford to take a honeymoon right away) so we had to bump it up to accomodate her….and its lame cause we will be broke as poor. Im frustrated about it enough that i like that fact that i can use my honeymoon as an excuse to get out of her shower, bachlorette stuff etc…its sounds mean…but obviously..how close are we that she would do something like that? If you and your sister are the same way, then you should just do what you want…and if that means missing her wedding bc she planned her wedding RIGHT AFTER yours etc…then so be it! 🙂

Good Luck!

Post # 12
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’m sorry but you haven’t set a date yet, so really anything is fair game. This is your sister and her “perfect wedding” happens to be a destination wedding. It might not be right for everyone, but it is what she wants. I think that you should support her and go (even if you don’t like flying).

You and your Fiance could make this your honeymoon and leave the rest of the wedding group after their wedding, that way he wouldn’t have to take more time off. Either way I think you should be there to support your sister. While it would stink to go without him and while it may be inconvenient for you it is still importatnt that you go.

 

Post # 13
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@penguinsaremyfriends: I 100% agree. 

It’s your sister and her FI’s wedding, you don’t get to dictate when and where she has it, especially since you haven’t set a date yet…

Post # 14
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

It really seems given the situation of your FH’s work that your sister didn’t really have much to work with, its hard enough for YOU to find a time for YOUR wedding, and now you want HER to find a time too? That seems like asking a lot but I do find it a little strange that she only wanted to set a date after you got serious about it…

All that being said, I wouldn’t let her decision bother you too much. If you go its not like your just up and leaving your FH for something silly, its a wedding (for you sister) not a vacation, he should understand that and you shouldn’t feel so guilty. As far as your own wedding goes, from what you’ve said you really couldn’t have your wedding in April or May because of who you want to attend. I had a similar problem, I wanted a spring Destination Wedding wedding but all of my aunts and his mom are teachers so they couldn’t take off during finals so we went with a summer wedding. With the flying thing, my mom is the same way. She FREAKS out. I remember going to Disney when we were little and I thought my mom was going insane, she now takes anxiety pills before she has to fly and she does wonderful! A couple weeks before she gets a little antsy but its not bad. She flys a lot more and has gotten so much better. It does seem like she’s being a little bratty in the whole, “if you don’t go to my wedding, I won’t go to yours” BUT just think how much you can hold over her head that you FLEW for her! 

Post # 15
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

There’s nothing wrong with taking a late honeymoon. My FH and I are getting married in Jan…we thought we had planned it early enough that he wouldn’t be in law school yet, but it turns out he will be (ugh the semester starts the thursday before the wedding – and we live 4 hours away from the wedding!). We won’t be taking a honeymoon until nearly 8 months later – but we’re still counting it 🙂 My FH will probably be late to the rehearsal – but at least he’ll be there – and that’s all that matters.

Post # 16
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I think that it’s her wedding, so if she want to do a destination wedding, she is completely in her right to do so. She should be able to have the wedding of her dreams, and fear of flying is not her issue, it’s yours…

However. When you’re planning a Destination Wedding, I think it’s unfair to EXPECT people to be there. She has to be able to accept, without getting mad, that even important people might not make it.

Now I understand your frustrations, but it’s her wedding, her choice. Now the choice you have to make is if you will go or not.

As for dates, just talk with her and see how you can manage not to have both weddings at the same time… People will most likely be gone for only a week, there are three more weeks in April to work from.

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