(Closed) Sitting, Waiting, Wishing…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry you’re having a wee little breakdown.. i have those days too! 

 “do you trust me?” to which i replied yes of course and he just said then that’s all the needs to be said.


I’m sure he wants to surprise you!! 

I would be frusrated if i wanted to talk to him about it and he didn’t want to have the discussion with me, but once you’ve determined you’re both on the same page, then all you can do it wait and not keep bringing it up, or else you’re taking the surprise out of it..

(i need to take that advice as well because i’m guilty of always bringing it up too! ) … this is just the same advice i’ve been given here on the bee..  Smile

I’m extremely impatient.. and i’m sick of waiting, but i’ve been really trying hard these past few weeks to just not bring it up and act like its not ALWAYS on my mind… i think if i keep reminding him that he hasn’t done it yet its only going to delay him from doing it… and i don;t want to keep pushing it back even further! πŸ˜‰

 Good luck hun..  

Post # 4
1205 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with killerQueen13. The waiting sucks and somedays it’s worse than others. At this point, you’ve expressed your feelings and he knows what’s going on, so I think you have to wait. It feels like hell when you can’t speak more often and freely about a topic that’s so important to you. However, it’s his show now. You literally have done all you can do. So yes, now you trust that he’s going to do what he said he is. 

I’m coming to learn how being impatient could come off as not trusting your man. If he has a plan, especially one to surprise you, he NEEDS you to trust him. My SO wants so desparately to surprise me and for everything to be perfect. But my constant questioning of when it’s going to happen made him think I was not trusting him. 

I think there’s an appropriate amount of time that you should let it go and wait for him to do this thing. Whether that’s a month, 3 months, 6 months or 9 months is up to you. For now, find things that interest you instead of worrying yourself sick over when he’s going to write his letter to you or when he’s going to propose. 

Easier said than done, but you’ll be happier if you aren’t thinking about it all the time. 

Post # 6
331 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@raye9289:  Oh dear!

I feel like you and I have the same exact situation!! πŸ™

There has been times where I tried to do what you did with the letter thing except it was all via text message. He eneded up telling me how he felt right away but it was still very vague. He even asked me if I trust him and I cant forget that he loves me and I am the one he wants to be with forever….well it will be 4 years this Nov….I dont understand if he knows that I am the one then whats the deal!?!

My SO just got a Mac book pro as well ABOUT A MONTH AGO and so funny we just had the conversation last night about the new one with retna display…well he wants it and he is willing to trade in his new one he just got which is only like $750 then pay the rest for the new one!! Im like really???? you just spent $1500 on that one now you want to get rid of it?? and you cant save for my ring?? πŸ™


uggghgh…this venting drives me up the wall but know this dear that you are not alone and this is why I am on the Bee. πŸ™‚ I wish the best for you and keep your head up…hopefully you will get his letter soon and it will have some awesome news in it. πŸ™‚



Post # 7
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that the two other times you guys talked about it that it wasn’t really a conversation .. ( because you said it was vague) I’m really oblivious sometimes! I took it like you had a talk and knew you were on the same page..

It is important to have that talk so that while you wait you know that he does truly intend to ask you one day.. Near or far (hopefully not too far!).. Me and my SO have had the marriage talk awhile ago so I know he wants marriage and kids and that he wants that for me, but I’m still waiting… Not so patiently, but I’m trying to work on that πŸ˜‰

The letter was a good idea I think, but if it ends up taking him a week or more than maybe you should ask him to talk. And don’t let him brush theconversation off.. Just tell him

You need to know if the two of you want the same things in your future.


Post # 8
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wants that WITH mE, not FOR me.. Sorry! Stupid iphone

Post # 10
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@raye9289: but i don’t WANT a surprise I want him to calm my worries and share his feelings with me.

I was the same way as you!  I did NOT want to be kept around waiting in the dark about when these changes in my future would happen.  I made that very clear to my husband before we were engaged too…. I need to have control!!  Waiting for someone else to make my decisions without me kinda turns me psycho…. it’s not pretty.  I always dreamed of proposing to a man, while still being the pretty, blushing, princess bride.  I’m so thankful to have a man loves that part of me! 

If you and your SO talk about everything and are best friends, then he should be able to compromise with you so it’s not “just his show now.”  Having you miserable and tortured for months on end will not help his cause!!!!  If my husband had been like “do you trust me?”  I would have been like “yes I trust and love you, but I also trust that you will put my personality and needs above antiquated traditions!”

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