SIUP Tips?

posted 6 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
151 posts
Blushing bee

I need this too! I understand logistically why we can’t get engaged right now and what needs to happen before we get there (hopefully it’ll be 6-12 months), but I can’t stop thinking about it and wishing it was happening RIGHT NOW! But I need to be calm and patient because I’m annoying myself bringing it up so often… He’s very sweet and patient and would never come right out and tell me to stop talking about it, but I know for my sanity and his that it’s better if I just zip it and have faith in our timeline. Our plan is to revisit the topic in October and see if we feel comfortable at that point going ahead and saying “okay, timeline is officially now until April” or whatnot, and I just need to be quiet until October and focus on other things. But it’s so gosh darn hard. I believe in us though! We can do it!

Post # 3
Member
75 posts
Worker bee

I’m feeling the same way bees! It’s very hard for me as I am trying to possibly go to a school that’s tuition free and would essentially help me make enough money, but I don’t know if I’m accepted yet, and my parents are asking me about when they’ll have more grandkids. I’m trying very hard too keep my mouth shut but I’ll admit it’s really hard especially if you picked out the ring together and know that he has it like me. Oh, I wish I could be engaged so I can start the one year plan. 

Post # 5
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

Although I have not formally pledged myself to a SIUP, I have been trying hard not to bring it up with him. Admittedly, I am not in the “we’ve been together to years and years and I don’t know if/when he’s ever going to do it” situation, but I know it’s coming this year, and I want him to be able to do it on his own time and allow for it to be a surprise, but it’s just soooo hard. I’m the type of person who willingly seeks out movie/book spoilers. I just cannot wait. So to not know when it’s coming is a struggle for me! And I don’t want to bring it up with my friends too often because then I just get annoying. Really, coming on here and reading/talking about it with other Bees is the most helpful for me. While it sustains and probably bolsters my anticipation, it’s nice being able to talk about it with other people in a similar situation and living vicariously through all the engagement stories. 

I’ve also been trying to through my focus into planning for our upcoming vacation, though while I’m 85% sure he will not be proposing so soon (we have a few other fun things on the horizon that would also be good proposing opportunities), I can’t help but wonder lol

Post # 6
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

I kind of had to do it to my boyfriend just because of getting work and my mental illness all squared away, which I am making progress in fortunately (I have a thread all about it). I don’t know if you would call it a SIUP because in my case, engagement is off the table until at least December of this year, if he proposes to me, I’d probably be like “I would but under the condition you don’t mind a longer engagement”

It does feel nice not talking about marriage and stuff with him though, he stopped talking about our future so much because I told him not to as it makes me nervousand he has been honoring that and I still know he wants to marry me still. We just plan on talking it through with our parents since we both have developmental disabilities (I honestly have a better time expressing myself in writing, I am NOTHING like that in real life) to make sure we have the best start to marriage possible. 

Post # 7
Member
68 posts
Worker bee

DisneyHoneyBee22 :  I am in the exact same spot, I know it is coming this summer I just don’t know when. I’m not a big “surprise” person, and felt like this was a good compromise but I’m starting to go crazy realizing it could be in a week or in four months. Its so hard to focus on anything else!

Post # 8
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Esplanade Lakes Ballroom, Downers Grove IL

For me, I was moving and changing jobs, so that distracted me quite a bit. Get something new going in your life 🙂 

also, change in weather can help mood a lot. SUmmer is coming, go out and explore!

Post # 10
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2018

So I know my proposal is coming between June and the end of the year.  I am starting to get anxious as I just planned my birthday party for June and literally ALL of my friends attending will be married or engaged.  I am wearing a white lace romper that night, but he is so clueless he probably won’t pick up the hint!  I THINK it’s going to be in the fall and I am trying to distract myself with our homebuying process and a new job but so far no luck!  You would think that would be enough, but no, it’s not.  Yesterday we went to NYC, just the two of us, to the auto show.  He was so ngiddy all day.  Then we went to lunch and he didn’t have a cocktail because he was worried about getting dehydrated and I thought that was weird.  Then he insisted on getting up from the table so I literally started thinking something was up, but no, no getting down on the knee.  I wasn’t even bummed (my nails looked a mess and on the borderline of passing out from hunger), but how do you not mention it at all when you know it’s coming and EVERYTHING seems like an opportunity? 

Post # 12
Member
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Esplanade Lakes Ballroom, Downers Grove IL

sakirby :  It’s great if he’s thinking of sales! Leaves more money for the actual wedding budget 🙂 My SO is not as much of a bargain hunter as I am lol, he’s more like “I’ll buy things when I am most financially able to buy them”, whereas I was brought up to buy things on sale in anticipation of needing them later in order to save money (even if it’s way down the line, like buying a Thanksgiving flight ticket in spring haha).

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