(Closed) Six months later… (vent)

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
620 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

First of all I think that if you are the one giving birth you get to decide where you do it, and he shouldn’t have any say at all because he is not the one pushing the kid out his….. it needs to be a place where you feel comfortable. I don’t really think that you need to compromise on this one.

If your birth control is making you feel that bad then you need to switch pills or maybe even methods. There are also options that don’t involve hormones like a diaphram or the sponge. Make him use a condom or pull out lol or both. There are lots of different options out there and I’m sure that some of them won’t make you feel this terrible 🙁

I have the same problem with my fiance about him dragging his feet. I think that if you take a more serious tone with the subject instead of “nagging” that helps. Just emphasize how important this issue is and that its also time sensitive. Remind him and let him know that it is something very important and serious.

Post # 4
749 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry 🙁 Have you mentioned that it takes a few cycles to regulate after getting off BCP, so it might be a good idea to get off now? Were these things that you discussed before getting married? Maybe meeting with a counseler, either religious or secular would be beneficial? He might just feel like there is a lot of changes going on in your lives right now and that is why he is avoiding these things. Men can be really difficult :-/

Post # 7
5296 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1993

Wow, he wants you to have his child but won’t add you to his insurance? He needs to get you added. now. I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t see that as important.

Post # 9
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sounds like you two have some issues to work through before you should start trying for kids. It will only be harder to clear up any problems with communication, responsibilities, and jobs after kids are part of the equation, so I strongly suggest putting TTC on the back burner until these things are figured out and you’re at a better place in your marriage.

Post # 10
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

what about this part of your initial vent?

“He won’t commit to job-hunting or putting down roots, but he wants to try for a baby in Spring – I want to at least know where I’m living before we try to conceive”

it sounds like you’re super psyched about ttc now (which is yayyy!), and I’m not trying to bring you down, but it also sounded like you had some very real concerns and resentments that don’t necessarily disappear with the babymaking starting that you’ll still want to work through with him.

happy birthday!

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