(Closed) Skip the filet;Upgrade the bar

posted 9 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

eat what you want!! I am doing the same! I am eating something that was not offered to my guest.

I say its your wedding. do it

Post # 4
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

You know what, I always hate the tenderloin at every party I’ve been to. I cannot stand how it’s cooked either. You reminded me. It actually makes me not like filet for a long time after I eat it.

Maybe I should forget the filet too? Seriously I really love a delmonico steak well done and charred. Wish I could serve that!!! Fiance thought I was nuts when I told him and said we’re just having filet. Lol.

Post # 5
Member
694 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You can do what you want, I just want to offer a different perspective :). I would try to not do that, if your guests see you eating something different and better than them, they will be insulted. Here is a link on an etiquette forum for the guests’ perspective:

 

http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=55827.0

 

I’m not trying to be the etiquette police around here today, I apologize if I’m coming off that way! 🙂 

Post # 6
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Maybe you could just surround your plate with flowers so nobody will see! Lol. I do agree but I’m torn. While I feel that the bride should be able to eat whatever she wants, if guest see that they are not given the choice to eat the same dinner as the bride, it will be  take as really rude.

… but if you want to give them something to talk about … haha

Post # 7
Member
960 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Ok I’m just kind of confused. Is the problem that you do not like filet when it’s cooked in bulk? If so then crap…I just RSVP’d to a wedding with a check next to filet! Anyway, if that is the case, then I think you should eat what you want as long as you’re certain they will cook it to your liking. I’m a filet snob so I get it 🙂 I don’t think too many people are going to go up to you while you’re eating and inquire why you have something different. I, for one, have never seen what the bride or groom eat during the reception. Mostly because um…I don’t care? Just put a big thing of flowers on the table and no one will be able to see you.

Post # 9
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

On the one hand, I’m not sure I’d notice.  But on the other hand, I don’t know if I like the sounds of having something different.  If you were having a party at your home, would you offer everyone chicken parm, while you had lobster? 

 I could really understand if you had an unusal allergy or terrible pickiness….

I don’t know.  If it was me, I would just choose from what the guests were being offered.

Post # 11
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I feel like it’s common to hear from brides after the wedding that they were so busy greeting people, dancing, and being a happy beautiful bride that it was hard to find time to sit down and actually eat anything.  With this in mind, what if you asked the venue to arrange for your lobster and filet mignon to be waiting for you back in your hotel room?  That might not work depending on your logistics, but it seems like in the whirl of the evening you may not actually notice what you have in front of you!

Post # 12
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m gonna agree with your decision to upgrade the bar rather than serve the filet.  If your friends/guests are anything like mine, they will be more impressed with the liquor selection than the food.  Not that everyone’s a raging alcoholic, but as we’ve gotten older (late 20s, early 30s), we’ve developed liquor preferences.  Anyway – definitely serve yourself the filet/lobster.  I second MsHymanRoth’s suggestion of hiding it with flowers.  If anyone dare asks, can you say that it is the reception site’s policy to upgrade the bride and groom’s meals?

Post # 14
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I kind of feel like it’s a slap in the face to your guests to serve them something and serve yourself something else.  You wouldn’t invite someone to your house and serve them pasta and have a big steak for yourself.  And if the chicken and salmon are sooo delicious, why can’t you just eat one of those?  If you can’t have steak for everyone, you shouldn’t have steak for yourself.

 

Post # 16
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I have to agree with the other posters; you should eat what your guests are eating. If you’d like something else later, have it in your room. Do please read the info on etiquettehell.com that Natakie16 posted. People do feel slighted, even if you don’t intend for them to feel that way, even if the chicken and salmon is delicious, etc. It’s one meal in your life, and a meal that you probably won’t get to eat much of. I’d veer towards graciousness and the comfort and consideration of guests on this issue.

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