Post # 1
Fiance and I were lucky enough to have such caring families that over the last 2 1/2 years they have filled out home with everything we have needed. Christmas’ and just his parents being the good hearted people they are… I really am marrying into a wonderful family.
So we have everything. I’m not all about the newest and having the best of the best. I love everything we already have and we really can’t decide on anything that we actually need for a registry.
So I was considering instead opting for a honeymoon donation type thing… Any ideas on how to do this? Instead of getting gifts just give donations toward our honeymoon because let’s face it… We will be paying for most of the wedding and wont be able to afford a honey moon. Would this be acceptable or would it just be tacky?
Post # 3
A lot of people are not fans of “honeymoon registries”, myself included, but they do seem to be gaining in popularity.
We are in a similar situation- I own our home, we have lived together for a few years, and we don’t really need a lot of “stuff”… so we decided to do a small registry to upgrade a few kitchen appliances, stock up on sheets and towels, and a few other things.
We are also spreading via word of mouth that we’re saving up for a honeymoon. Since a bit of our family members are more traditional, they do prefer a traditional registry. We’re lucky enough that many of these family members will ask my parents or his parents if there’s anything we really need, and they’ve all been asked to indicate our wishes to save up some money or a honeymoon and future plans.
edit- I meant to add that if you do a honeymoon registry- read carefully! Many of them take a fee or certain percentage of your payout. If I want to give you a check for $200, I want you to get all $200, not anything less than that.
Post # 4
We’re doing a honeymoon registry, and I thought we’d get a much more negative reaction from our Old South crowd, but we’ve actually gotten our first two gifts from that, and nothing yet from the other registries.
We’re using Wanderable.com. It looked easiest and doesn’t take anything in fees – there’s just the small Paypal transaction fee. We’ve transferred the money for the items we’ve already been given into our savings account. We’re thrilled with it!
Post # 5
My Darling Husband and I married in our mid 40s, and, although he did not have many nice things, I did, and we really did not literally need too many more household items either. However, I am not at all a fan of honeymoon registries or any other however-veiled attempt at “requesting” cash from your guests. (FYI, I chose to register for household items that I did not already have, were different or more formal versions of what I already had, or were upgrades to what I already had, since guests traditionally provide these types of gifts to a new couple to help them establish their home.)
There are many brides on the bee who have very different opinions about all of this, and you’ll find no end of advice as to how to “politely” steer your guests away from buying you toasters and towels and into giving you cash. A honeyfund is one way that seems to have slightly more support in the Hive than, say, a more direct ask for cash gifts. However, many bees, like me, still are not comfortable with the idea of them.
The best etiquette-approved way of accomplishing your goal would be to allow close family and very close friends to quietly spread the word in response to requests from guests (not proactively) as to what you and your Fiance may like. They would be able to discreetly reply that you and your Fiance already have pretty much everything you need for your home and that you’re hoping to take a honeymoon after the wedding.
Post # 6
I personally do not like honeymoon registries even though we definitely need the money more than we need more “stuff”. At this point, we just have two normal gift registries with nice things (versus everyday things we already have – like spatulas). I guess the reason why we are not really fans is because for people with limited income, they can still buy things on the registry that is on sale and get something that looks expensive but maybe cost them 70% of the original total (e.g. Macy’s sales, BB&B coupons). That way, they save face because they look like they spent $xxx but really, it was $xx and B + G still get what they want. For honeymoon registries, this doesn’t work and what they give is what they give. It can be worse actually, if the honeymoon registry provider deducts fees from the gift amount. We’re expecting close family and friends to still give us money as culturally that’s what they’re use to and they know our situation, but we expect the rest of the guests to give us items off the registry.