Post # 1
I was talking to my future SIL last night who also has a wedding planning business. We were talking about chairs for the ceremony and she asked if I thought everyone was going to come to the ceremony. My first thought was of course if you RSVP I assume you’re coming to the ceremony, but she said it’s quite common for lots of folks to skip it. In all fairness, I’ve missed three wedding ceremonies because I was running late, got lost, or got stuck in some pretty bad traffic. But I’d never have the unmitigated gall to straight up skip a ceremony only to show up 30 minutes later for food and drink.
Anywho, how common is this? Did you have a noticeable percentage of guests not come to the ceremony? Maybe you were so caught up in the moment that you wouldn’t even notice?
Post # 2
Didn’t notice that with mine. I’ve never done it. So in my circle it’s not common.
Post # 3
I may be biased but I have only ever attended Catholic weddings where it is very common for only immediate family/close friends to attend the mass/ceremony as there usually is a gap between ceremony and reception (usually held at different locations too). I would never think of doing this if the ceremony and reception were in the same place one following the other though 🙂 (so I am thinking the same way you’re thinking).
Post # 4
We did not have one guest attend our reception who did not also attend our ceremony. I really don’t think this is a thing – at least, not where I’m from. I did once attend a wedding where a friend’s boyfriend came to the ceremony but had to miss the reception due to work (he was a store manager so was unable to just get anyone to cover for him) – it had been okayed with the bride and groom weeks in advance and they appreciated that he still came to the ceremony. But I think intentionally missing a ceremony only to turn up for the free food and drink is on the complete other end of the spectrum.
Post # 5
The mot common reasons people may skip the ceremony:
-there is a large gap between your ceremony and reception, and guests would rather just come later instead of going to the ceremony and having to find a way to fill the time before the reception starts
-guests have kids with them and would rather not have to worry about keeping them quiet and in line during your moment
-may inadvertently miss it due to running late, getting lost, etc.
It definitely depends on your social circle whether this is common or not. My friends and immediate family would never do this, but I’ve heard second-hand stories from others who don’t think twice about it. Ceremonies are my favorite part of the wedding, so I would never skip intentionally, but to each their own.
Post # 6
It’s more common for when there’s a gap (catholic or not). It’s rude to ask guests to wait around for the inbetween, so some will attend just the ceremony and skip the reception, some will skip the ceremony and only attend the reception. I don’t think people are just showing up for the free food; they want to celebrate with the B&G but dont want to kill 4h inbetween events (at least in my examples, relating to the gap).
Post # 7
I think it depends a lot on the area, specific wedding, and demographic.
Not really sure what kinds of weddings your sister plans, but as a wedding photographer (doing this for over 10 years) this is not common practice for any of my weddings. I’m from the south and we do not have a large Catholic population (I shoot maybe one Catholic wedding every few years) while my DH is from up north and his family is mostly Catholic. I could see why people would skip the ceremony, because the 3 hour gap is one of the most inconvenient and rude things ever (all because people won’t sacrifice having an evening reception). That being said, even in all the Catholic weddings I’ve attended I’ve never noticed a larger concentration of reception guests from the ceremony.
I think it would be most common for Friday weddings, because frankly most people are not going to skip work to attend a wedding ceremony.
Post # 8
We didn’t have any guests at our reception who weren’t at the ceremony. I think it’s pretty rude to skip the ceremony and show up to the reception.
I had a Friday wedding and a few of my friends have had Friday weddings as well and guests didn’t skip the ceremony.
Post # 9
same. I know several people that skip Catholic church ceremony but show up to venue/reception later. Especially since there’s always a huge gap between the two events.
Post # 10
VERY COMMON. Especially for Catholic cermonies. Oh! It’s the regular 1.5 hour mass plus the wedding ceremony for a total of 2 hours of kneeling, sitting and standing? oh yeah, I forgot that thing i had to do, I’ll see you at the party.
Post # 11
Semi-understandable with regard to the Catholic gap. I don’t think that most of her weddings are Catholic, but it’s a trend she’s noticed.
Anywho, I’m not at all concerned for my wedding – was mostly curious since on what others have seen. I doubt I’d even notice given all of the pomp and circumstance of the day.
Post # 12
I can understand the second and third reason (mostly because I’m guilty of the third).
Post # 13
This is actually very very normal where I’m from. We’re Catholics from the Middle East and our weddings are ridiculously big. My wedding is estimating about 550 people and that’s considered SMALL in my culture. So you can imagine not all 550 people will be coming to the ceremony, usually just close friends and family.
Post # 14
I’ve been a bridesmaid in a wedding where my date only joined me for the reception… but I’ve never skipped one myself.
Personally I hate going to ceremonies. If skipping the ceremony was an option I’d be all over it, but as far as I know its not. lol.
Post # 15
I was a bridesmaid in a Friday wedding. The ceremony was around 2 and the reception was at 6. A Lot of people skipped the ceremony and came to the reception. I’d say if there were 30 people at the ceremony there were 100 at the reception. I assumed it was because of work.