(Closed) Skipping the Ceremony- rude?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yes, that is extremely rude.

Post # 4
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Rude, yes … but will the bride ever know? I guess as long as she doesn’t find out, you could file it under “no harm no foul.”

Definitely still pretty inconsiderate though!! I mean, the ceremony is supposed to be what it’s all about!!!!

Post # 5
Member
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yep, I agree. That’s rude. What did she say when you told her it was rude, did she seem surprised? I have come to the conclusion that some people are just clueless about wedding stuff, so maybe they just don’t understand…?

Post # 6
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

To me, the ceremony is the important part.  It’s the REASON we’re getting together.  I want the love and support of my friends and family while I get married.  The reception is a way for the hostess (which, in my case is me) to thank people for coming to the wedding and supporting me on a special day when I make a very important commitment.

IMO – to skip the ceremony in order to lay out at the pool and then show up at the reception is pretty rude.  It’s like showing up at a post-marathon celebration when you didn’t run the race.  In both cases the celebration is intended for the particpants of the important event, the party afterwards is the reward for participating.

I’d be pretty sad if my guests chose to do this… especially since I thought they were important enough to me that I wanted them to see me make this life altering commitment – and they waved it off as an annoying task that can be skipped.  It seems that they only want to take advantage of the host’s hospitality.

Post # 7
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Yes, definitely rude – but I know a lot of people who don’t want to attend the ceremony and go straight to the party.  It seems to happen a lot for catholic weddings I’ve attended (maybe the long ceremony + the long gap???)…. so maybe people just get accustomed to attending the reception and skip the ceremony all together!

Some of our guests couldn’t make it to the wedding but made it the reception.  I was sad they missed out on the ceremony, but was grateful they attended to celebrate in some way!

Post # 8
Member
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

yeah I was a little WTF at the like 6 or 8 people who didn’t come to the ceremony but did to the reception.

Post # 9
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

Super rude. Even if I found out after the fact (as the bride)…my feelings would be hurt. I’m not paying for you to come party…ok, well I am, but the caveat is that you are there to witness my marriage FIRST!

Post # 10
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Extremely rude. The ceremony is the most important part of the wedding day! I would be very offended if someone decided to skip my ceremony and just come to the dinner/reception.

Post # 12
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

SUPER rude given the circumstances. I can see parents of squirmy, noisy children skipping the ceremony (as not to cause a ruckus) but to skip to go to the pool? No, that’s definitely NOT okay. IMO a reception is to thank the people for coming to the ceremony, which as PP said, is the most important part of the day.

That said, I think B + G should’ve reduced the downtime between ceremony and cocktail hour as two hours IS rather long when there’s no traveling between locations involved.

Post # 13
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I once heard someone say that the skipped a wedding ceremony because having kids means being busy.  Well duh, but that’s what babysitters are for.   Sooooo rude! 

Post # 14
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

My family skips the ceremonies all the time and just shows up for the reception.  I had no idea this was rude until I was an adult! 

My family is not the most caring, supportive kind either though.

Post # 15
Member
588 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Due to the timing and date of my wedding I know quite a few people who will be “skipping” the ceremony but will be at our reception. I completely understand this, but your friends skipping to go to the pool is a completely different story!!

Post # 16
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@UmbrellaMoon:  completely agree with everything you said.

I had two people skip our ceremony, (they are sisters), and I thought it was super rude.  The showed up just as peopel were walking into the reception from the cocktail hour.  They saw the bridal party and Darling Husband and I lining up to make our entrance and proceeded to try to chat with me and even said “oh good, we’re just in time.”  WTF?!  Super rude. 

They are now both getting married and their mom actually said to me, “oh you can skip their ceremony if you want to.  it’s the boring part that no one likes.”   I was shocked since to me the ceremony is the main event and the reception is to thank people for coming to the main event.

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