Post # 1
I can’t say I agree with this. I have all hand-me-downs and stuff that is in good condition I’m not registered for. But things like crystal and china is not something I would buy myself and that, to me, is what you get at a wedding.
What do you think?
ETA: I think even saying “no gifts please” is against etiquette — you don’t make any references to gifts in invites and most will want to gift anyway. I’d rather have something I want than something I cannot and will not use, therefore I register and spread it word of mouth.
Post # 3
Well, my fiance and I had our own places and we moved in together a few years ago. However, there was none of this great merging of stuff that was in the article. We kept his TVs and knives, I tossed his towels, sheets and comforter (I’d have donated them, but they weren’t in good enough condition). While we have everything we NEED, there’s a lot of things that we’d like to have, and will be needing in the future. For example, we have place settings for 4. Right now, that’s usually fine because we only have enough room at our table for 4. But if we want more friends over, we can add chairs. And then we have to get creative with dishes. I’d like to have dinnerware for at least 8. And I’d like a matching flatware set. We’re buying a house after the wedding, so I’d like some guest towels, and guest linens. These are all things that we could buy ourselves, but they’re not priority. So yes, we have a registry, and no, I’m not ashamed of it. It’s on our wedding website, but not anywhere on our invitations.
Post # 4
There are tons of posts full of registry negativities and people bashing you for being gift grabbing and money hungry. While it does appear to be against etiquette, most couples register and most guests will buy a gift off of it. We also did the merge and have most of the things we need, granted most is really old and in bad shape (like pots and pans). Our registry is very small and only contains items we really needed. We didn’t register for China or Crystal because I know we won’t use it (we are very casual). We listed our registries on an insert as part of our wedding suite, only because my mother paid for them and wanted to (so it’s not technically not us telling people). I think having a registry and telling people that is just the norm these days.
Post # 5
@GeorgiaBride5: Having a registry isn’t against etiquette in and of itself. Putting any reference to an expectation for gifts in invitations is.
Post # 6
I agree with the notion that couples today are very different from couples decades ago, and that the traditional registry items are becoming less relevant to modern couples. That being said, every couple is different so it’s hard to give a blanket statement about what we should or should not register for.
My FI and I have lived together for 2 years and owned a house for over 1 year. We have already acquired and merged our kitchen items. I just bought a bridal shower gift for a friend’s shower this weekend and I realized that about 2/3 of her registry contained items that I already had or did not need for myself. We do not need blenders, toasters, small appliances, cooking implements, knives, drinkware, or linens. But there are other hand-me-downs which have survived, like our casual flatware and casual plates. The hand-me-downs aren’t in the best shape, so we’re registering for these items because we need them the most. I’m also not the type of person to buy fine china for myself, but I like the idea of guests contributing to a nice set of china that we’ll enjoy for years to come. At the end of the day, it’s all about the couple and giving them what they need to begin their married lives.
Post # 7
I completely disagree with this article. Who does the author think he is? Don’t give gifts you can’t afford, and give them with an open heart without expecting anything in return.
Also, it made me happy to see this rebuttal to that article pop up this afternoon: http://weddings.gatheringguide.com/ac/wedding-etiquette/wedding-presents-hardly-a-scourge