Post # 1
We read every sleep book out there when Emi was a newborn and I had hormone-induced insomnia. She was swaddled and white noised and sleeping 4-7 hours in her crib by the time she turned 1 month. Then we went wrong! Because baby wasn’t turning head to the side facedown but was very good at rolling on her stomach, we were fearful of suffocation so we brought her into the family bed. We thought we could eventually let her cry it out but we decided it wasn’t right timing for any of us. There she stayed (despite all prior knowledge) for months until it got to the point of: husband sleeping in the living room, baby falling off the bed over the pillow barricade, rearranging our bedroom while putting the bed on the floor, feedings every 2-4 hours (Tap, tap, tap–Mom, I’m hungry or….Help! Give me a boob to sleep.)
Well tonight, we had a breakthrough, ladies! We decided to give CIO a try on this 3 day weekend (Hawaiian holiday). At 7 months and 1 day old, I put Emi down in her crib after nursing and giving her a good cuddling cribside…but she immediately woke when I laid her down and cried for 3 tortuous minutes. I picked her up and she fell asleep in my arms. Within a few minutes, I put her down and she cried again for 5 minutes. (My version of Ferberizing). So I picked her up and she crashed out in my arms right away. This time when I put her down, she rolled to her side so I kept my hand on her to steady her and relax her and she let out a whimper and FELL ASLEEP. The process took less than half hour. I’m so relieved!! I’m such a sleep training wimp!!
I’m still planning on bringing her to bed in the middle of the night, for now. As long as I have a few hours (7-9pm) on my own, that would be 1000 percent better. Hmmm, maybe I’ll try to put her back in the crib at 9pm and have hubby bring her to me in the middle of the night. That would be lovely.
Post # 3
11:30pm update. Baby woke at 9:30, mad in the crib, so I fed her and put her back in the crib without a peep, eyes closed. Then Darling Husband came home from work and we were having a great conversation until baby cried a little after 11 so I just brought her back to sleep with me…only I can’t sleep now.
Post # 4
I’m not a fan of CIO at all but I am not against what you have done. I have a bigger issue with those who let their kids cry for longer periods of time. I would start with what you are doing now and then as she gets older, she will get better and better.
Post # 5
Kayla was a really good sleep when she was little and we are still struggling with sleeping through the night, but we did a modified version of cry it out at around 3.5-4 months. When I put her down at naptime and bedtime, we would cuddle and rock her and sing a little bit and I put her down awake. At first, we let her cry for no more than 10 minutes (as long as it was just a little fussy crying NOT screaming crying) and sometimes less and we would go pat on her butt or try to calm her down without picking her up. She also doenst usually get the pacifier or any white noise or anything because I wanted her to learn how to fall asleep on her own. Now that she is almost 7 months old she falls asleep for naps and nighttime with little to no crying at all…sometimes she just talks to herself for a few minutes and then she’s out. I have a sleep book that I really liked in PDF format that we followed if you want me to email it to you! She still isn’t sleeping through the night but she falls asleep really easily after I feed her the one time in the middle of the night and she sleeps in her crib in her own room. 🙂 I think you seem to be doing the right thing for your family!
Post # 6
I’m curious, what does white noise mean? I dont think I have ever heard of that
Post # 7
I am still a huge fan of the old-school Ferber Method because it WORKS. Forever if you can follow through. I started out at about 5-6 months old, when they’re ready and able to sleep through the night. Oh, and they were exclusively breastfed too.
It didn’t take more than 3 nights total and neither one cried more than a half hour each of those nights. I was consistent with the time increments (5 min. 10 etc.) and this is very key: do NOT pick up or feed. This will ruin everything. If they are rewarded with that kind of attention, you have lost the battle already. My babies got a little back rub and soothing words. That’s it.
If you do not do not train your baby to sleep now, you will have a four year old in your bed before you know it and your sleep and intimacy with your husband will suffer. Men do NOT find toddlers an inducement to sexy time. But maybe that’s okay with you if you only want one baby:)
be strong now and you will not regret it. I promise:)
Post # 8
@MapleBecky: Thanks! For some reason, it helps to think it’s not CIO.
@bells: White noise is playing a consistent sound to make baby soothe. It’s supposed to remind them of the sound of the womb. Before we used a computerized sound, then the air filter, now just the fan. It drowns out any inconsistent road traffic, neighborhood dogs barking or house noise.
@dchokiebride3: Emi falls asleep right away with nursing but not the crib. We know all the rules, we just don’t follow them.
@PutABirdOnIt: Thanks for that encouragement….going to try to be strong…and consistent. Everyone keeps telling me, you’ll have to do it eventually and I can’t imagine another year, much less a 7 year or even an 11 year old, which i have learned of recently and scared me straight.
Post # 9
Didn’t realize we did the Ferber method, but this is exactly what I did with DS… He went into his bed at 3 mths and it took less than a week to have him going down w/o tears and self-soothing himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. I wasn’t breastfeeding by then so he didn’t need a middle of the night feeding or anything like that. The first night took the longest, but every 10 minutes or so I’d go in and pat his back and ssssshhhhhhhhhhh… him. =)
This worked great until he became 18/24mths and we had a 1 bedroom… then he’d wake up and could see me in bed and well.. he ended up with us. He was always fine sleeping in his own bed as long as we were still up though so it was easily rectified once he got his “big boy” bed.
Keep up the good work, and just know that security in being able to fall asleep goes so much further than just bed & nap time.. that security will help as she’s left with a sitter, or going to school in the years to come.
Post # 10
@dchokiebride3: Thanks for the offer for the book help and I do appreciate your support through this tough time. She’s crying right now. 🙁 9 more minutes to go….nah, make that 5…I can’t handle this!! My palms are sweating!!
@runsyellowlites: thanks for your specifics and encouragement! What do you think I should do if she doesn’t calm with a pat,pat, pat? Only when I pick her up, does she calm.
We just put up blackout curtains today. Hope it doesn’t freak her out more.
Post # 11
Our 15 month old is still in bed with us… but she no longer needs the boob to fall asleep. She can do it on her own!
For us, a true CIO just wasn’t going to work. And Ferber to me seems like an intermittant reward system which is designed to reinforce behaviors. (But what you are doing is definitely not Ferber 808, because you are picking her up and soothing her).
I’m so glad your method is working for you, though. If we let our little one cry, she cries to the point of throwing up… Just wasn’t going to happen. So we did a modified version in our bed. We’ll probably transition her when we’re matched with our 2nd baby but before baby comes home 🙂
Post # 12
@Mrs. DG: Ferber808, nice! 🙂 ooooh the little one is so much fun to cuddle at night, especially if she falls asleep on her own, like yours….that’s the perk of co-sleeping!
Well, tonight went almost the same as last night, but better. I went shopping and wore baby Emi in the ERGO for an hour before putting her to sleep. After nursing, she was still awake so I put her in the crib and she started crying LOUDLY as usual. This time hubby was with me so he offered to put her back down after 5 minutes of crying. She woke and cried for 5 more minutes in round 2, not as loud but very persistently. I was going to try for 10 minutes but couldn’t take it…so 5 minutes it was. Her room is now pitch dark with the new blackout curtains I made today, but when I got to Emi’s room she had brilliantly turned on the light on her Glow Seahorse on one side of the crib and then figured out to crawl to the opposite side of the crib so she could wail, closest to the door. Just like last night, I picked her up over the shoulder, she immediately quieted and we swayed for about 5 minutes next to her crib. When I put her down, she woke, made a little protest whimper and then slept soundly. Whew!! Thank God!! The MUCH BETTER part was that hubby and I had some ‘ALONE’ time and 😉 ice cream after to celebrate. I’m so glad this is working out better than expected. She hasn’t cut a tooth yet, so I’m sure it is bound to change. Oh, I would be so happy to get down to one nighttime feed or I dare even less, Dchokie! One day….