(Closed) Sleeves? No sleeves? Meh…

posted 5 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

Not sure for the UK. In the US, the answer is definitely “it depends!” Some denominations are more conservative than others, and even within denominations, some parishes are more conservative than others. I am Catholic, and in Catholic churches in the US it ranges from “anything goes” to “use your judgement,” “strapless is okay but keep a lid on the cleavage,” “shoulders need to be covered,” and a very few ultra-conservative churches that even disallow sleeveless, let alone strapless. The best thing to do is always to check with the officiant who will be celebrating your wedding, since that’s the person who gets to make that call.

Post # 4
Member
5080 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t like my arms either.  I ended up going with a very thin, stretchy lace bolero.

Post # 6
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I live in the US so I don’t really know if you have to. I would suggest asking the church or the people where you’re having your ceremony if they only allow brides that cover their arms.

As for what looks better on people who don’t like their arms it depends what your more comfortable with. I don’t really like my arms either and dont like to wear shirts or dress with no sleeves but I do every now and then plus my dress is strapless (because I fell in love with it and had no choice lol). I say do whatever your comfortable with. If you are allowed to wear strapless and you find a dress that’s strapless I would just go for it!

Post # 9
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

The best person to ask is your priest/vicar. From my own experience here in England (I’m catholic my fiancé is Protestant) the Protestant church is more laid back. At best you’d be asked to cover your shoulders but from what I know this is very rare so I wouldn’t worry about it, I haven’t! I’m yet to attend a wedding where this has ever been asked of the bride! 

Post # 10
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@Marissa007:  I think it’s kind of in the eye of the beholder, and probably depends on the fabric, the cut, etc. I can see how something in shiny white satin, or something with ruching/gathers, might make some people feel like their arms look bigger, but I also think the right sleeve can do a lot to disguise less-than-toned arms, hide moles/freckles/keratosis, etc.

In my case, I insisted on sleeves. For me it boils down to self-confidence and to what I felt was appropriate for our venue. I am reasonably slender and happy with my weight, not worried about losing any for the wedding, etc., but I felt like a strapless gown would have me worrying about that stuff more than I wanted/needed to, and I knew if I had something with sleeves it would be a non-issue and I would automatically look better if I wasn’t self-conscious about it. Also, our ceremony is in a relatively conservative Catholic parish and, while FI and I don’t consider ourselves nearly as conservative as many of our fellow parishioners, and while the church doesn’t have any explicit rules about sleeves, shoulders, etc., I felt like sleeves were more respectful and were just the right choice for me.

I ended up finding a lace gown with spaghetti straps and a lace coat with long sleeves that harmonizes wonderfully with it. I will be wearing the coat for the ceremony, and probably removing it for the reception – two gowns in one! I love how it looks on me, and I actually do think my arms look better in the sleeve, so there’s a chance I may even keep the coat on for part of the reception. Part of that will depend on temperature, etc., too – I will play it by ear that day.

I’d say, just try a few things so you can get an idea of how you feel about your sleeve options. As far as “eye of the beholder” goes, your eyes are the ones that count.

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