Post # 1
Well since at 2 years ago all my close friends started having babies (my best friend is on her 2nd). It was kind of weird 5/6 of them litterally got pregnant all within the same 6 month period…back then I was fine with it and happy for them, a little jelous but got over it. Now they all have 1-2 year olds and then the only other close friend that didn’t have a child yet just told me she’s expecting…. now I’m the only one without a child/pregnant. I’ve been with my bf for over 3 years and have been waiting to get engaged for the past year…. I just really want to be apart of that. I’ve been wanting a child for a while now, but I have the stupid ‘rule’ in my head that I really want to be married before I get pregnant (call me old fashioned)…2/6 of them did this and the others are just engaged or bf/gf and have their baby.
I just don’t know what to do…I’ve wanted a baby for a long time but have had to put it on the back burner for so many reasons… I just feel like I’m being left behind and all of them will have kids in school together and growing up together and when finally it’s my turn I won’t have the same connection with all of them.
Is anyone else out there feeling this way? Am I just being impatient?
Post # 3
You don’t feel you can connect with your friends without having kids? Maybe you need to branch out and meet some new friends too.
Post # 4
I think “having a baby because all of my friends are” is probably not a good reason to have one. 🙂 I think you are smart for wanting to wait until after marriage or at least engagement. Make sure the forever committment between the two of you is there first. Plus, by the time you and your SO are ready, maybe they will be on their second round. I second @futuremrshc: and that maybe you should seek out some other friends as well.
Post # 5
Don’t have a baby just because of everyone else. I’m pregnant now (with my SO). I’m 30 and most of my friends have 6 yr olds! One is pregnant with me with her 2nd baby.LOL
Sometimes I think about my kids and theirs being in different stages, but everyone does things at a difference pace. Have a baby when you want to, because you WANT to have them, not because everyone else is.
Post # 6
Our best friends’ kids are 8 and 6; we just had our first baby last year. It’s nice having friends with older kids for a lot of reasons!
- They always come over to our house because they know how much preparation goes into getting a baby ready to go anywhere.
- They’re able to adjust their schedules pretty easily, which means we get to see them more often. Mommy friends I have with babies our daughter’s age are always difficult to get together with because they have much stricter schedules (as far as naps/bedtimes/meal times go) that often clash with our strict schedule.
- They have lots of great advice and endless sympathy when we are going through a tough phase (teething, etc…).
- Their kids will be able to babysit ours in a few years!
It might feel like you’re being left behind right now, but you’ll catch up. And when you do, it’ll be nice to have some friends who have “been there.” 🙂
Post # 7
None of my friends have babies. I started hanging out with my husband’s friend’s wife b/c she has a baby (I didn’t, I was still in the wedding planning process when we started hanging out). I felt like I had more in common with her then my friends, who are always going to the bars. I liked having her there so I could kind of see what it would be like in a few years when I finally got to have a baby.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for their feedback and yeah maybe it’d be nice to have friends with older kids. 🙂 It’s just something I’ve been wanting for a while and it’s hard seeing other having what you really want, you know?.
Post # 9
I’m sure this must be tough for you… it’s very hard to see everyone having what you want! And it is easy to feel left out, since they all have things in common (babies) and you don’t.
BUT in the long run, I’m sure it will work out for the best for you. You will be able to borrow all of their maternity clothes and baby stuff, they will have tons of advice for you, and everyone loves a baby, so all of the attention will be on you when you have a newborn and all of their kids are 4 or 5 years old.
Anyway, I don’t have a lot of advice, but I can sympathize and I know it is tough. BUT stick with your heart about getting married first and then having a baby. When YOUR time comes, it will be the perfect time for you!!!
Post # 10
I’m had my daughter 3-10 years later than most of my friends. A lot of them have 3 kids already. I have plenty of awesome handmedowns, wisdom and babysitters on call that I can trust. It’s really fine. Plus you can always make friends with people with newborns, when that time comes, in your birthing class, child’s classmates etc. It can be a great opportunity if you wait until the right time for your family.