Post # 1

Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
Hi Bees
One of FI’s cousins called yesterday telling me that the hotel she found on our website offered to block rooms for me at a good rate. She was calling to inquire if I would like that. I told her yes. The problem is she then informed us that she and her other cousin would be bringing their boyfriends with them. They had already purchased their plane tickets. I gave the phone to Fiance who told them that we were not doing +1’s because of our tight budget. She profusely apoligzed and offerd to just attend the wedding ceremony. Now, I would not allow them to fly from Kentucky to Virginia for just a 20 minutes ceremony and then sit in a hotel for hours while their family parties it up, so we offered to allow the two men to attend BUT we warned them to tell no one of this because we were not extending this curtesy to anybody else.
Fiance and I are stressed to the max right now with the wedding over money, rude relatives etc..now we have to feed two men we have no clue about but who already bought tickets to attend out wedding. I was asking Fiance if he felt we were blackmailed into it because the tickets were purchased (can you cancel tickets on sale from an airline and get a refund??). She did apologize profusely but then again you can do that and not mean it…idk Bees….
Post # 3

Member
359 posts
Helper bee
That is just rude on their parts, I am sure you can cancel tickets. I can’t believe people do this, I have heard it so many times in the past, How utterly rude to blackmail someone into inviting more ppl. makes me mad! Good luck with that-
Post # 4

Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
I’m sorry you are stressed about this, but honestly, the girls probably didn’t think anything of it and were just trying to plan ahead for your wedding, so they went ahead and booked flights and hotels so they knew they could be there. I’m sure their guests were just an assumption they made innocently. Just try to spread the work via family and friends that you aren’t inviting +1s, so you don’t have any more issues like this.
Post # 5

Member
921 posts
Busy bee
I don’t get the impression that she was trying to take advantage of you. She offered to not attend the reception so it really doesn’t seem like she was pushing you to invite them as well.
Post # 6

Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
and a lot of plane tickets (most) are non-refundable or you have to pay more for them to be non-refundable… so it is highly likely they actually can’t get their money back.
Post # 7

Member
981 posts
Busy bee
It sounds annoying, but probably an honest mistake. Maybe they are just don’t have a clue about wedding etiquette or thought their boyfriends were invited. I think you did the classy thing and at the end of the day, you won’t notice 2 more people there and his cousins will be appreciative.
Post # 8

Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who just don’t understand wedding etiquette, and how much things cost. It sounds like the girl made an honest mistake. I would just spread the word about no +1s and leave it at that. We told everyone that if they weren’t dating someone 1 year before our wedding, then they couldn’t bring anyone with them, so they knew full well that they were coming alone, which was fine because they were all friends with everyone else attending. One person brought his flavor of the week, and she wore red, which all the women did on my mom’s side to represent my grandma who had passed the year before (she had no idea about it) so she’s in like 20 of my pictures since the photog knew about the whole wearing red thing. Makes me really pissed (I don’t even know the girls name!), but if one person out of 80 some did it, then I guess its not all that bad
Post # 9

Member
389 posts
Helper bee
Honestly I don’t think a lot of people are plotting to figure out ways to bring plus ones. I think they just don’t realize its not always an automatic. I think it was very nice of you to extend this invitation.
Post # 10

Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
Thank you ladies! I was thinking the same thing; an honest mistake.
Our invites do not go out until August 1st and yes I do appreciate she was planning ahead