- 7 years ago
- Wedding: April 2011
I knew I wouldn’t get out of this whole mess without hurting people’s feelings and overall feeling terrible.
We’re having a small (20-some guests) ceremony in Las Vegas in about five weeks. The chapel has a limit for the package we booked, and we’re pretty much at capacity. For my side, I invited some family, three or four friends, and their spouses. We’re having a reception in my hometown a week later, primarily for my family and some old high school friends, and then another in the city we currently live in in May for his family and our local friends. So I figured I could manage to avoid excluding people. Right?
Apparently not. One of my friends who is coming to the ceremony (we’ll call her A) spoke to a mutual friend of ours (we’ll call her J). I haven’t talked much to J over the past couple of years, but we remain in casual touch via facebook, etc. She lives far from all three locations. To be honest, it never seriously occurred to me to invite J to the ceremony; we hardly invited anyone! But I got an email from A today saying, in essence: “Did you invite J to the wedding? I asked if I’d see her there, and she said she hadn’t gotten an invite. I doubt she can afford to make it, so could you send her an invitation?”
ARGH. First of all, while we could probably include one extra person at this point, the ceremony is a month away, and out of town, so J would obviously see that as an “un-vitation.” She would doubtless be insulted if I did that. I’d be insulted if somebody did that to me. I had been thinking about inviting her to the party a month later (a little over 2 months from now; we haven’t sent out invites yet, it’s going to be pretty casual, but we’ve given the date to people who asked), but I’m so worried now that anything I say will just compound the insult she’s probably already feeling.
I feel like such a jerk. This is why I just wanted to go to a courthouse, get hitched, and have pizza on the way home or something. Any thoughts on what to do? I’m inclined to send her an apologetic email explaining the very limited space at the ceremony and mentioning the party in May. And if she decides to hate me, anyway, I’ve done all that I can do, I guess.