(Closed) Slightly disappointed with my SO about my birthday

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 46
Member
353 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Christ on a cracker lady. You can do better!

Post # 48
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee

OP: that’s wonderful that everything turned out. While I’m sure some of the “power couple” comments weren’t easy to read, most don’t have “reading comprehension” issues. You stated that your boyfriend cheated on you for two whole years and still seems to have issues communicating. That’s a red flag for many but only you know if he has actually changed. When you say that “we” weren’t closely committed do you really mean “he” wasnt and you thought you were? Having another girlfriend for two years isn’t a miscommunication, it’s a serious character flaw. Make sure he has actually changed. In my opinion, organizing a party is great but don’t be afraid of accepting that forgiveness is a process and one party can’t heal everything. 

I wish you the best. 

Post # 50
Member
833 posts
Busy bee

The denial is strong. 

Post # 51
Member
4812 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

People react and respond to what YOU post. It is fine and dandy to now claim you and he have complete transparency but it was YOU in your original post who described having to build trust after he ended things with his other girlfriend, who came on here questioning his distance, his lack of communication, and feeling neglected and unnerved by it (instead of asking him about it a la complete transparency). It is not fair to attack those who tried to help based on the information YOU gave because in the end he threw you a party and made it all better. I think plenty of people here are well informed and experienced in interpersonal relationships and rightly so encouraged caution based on the facts you gave in your very first post.

Anyway, clearly you are happy with how things turned out and perhaps in the future you won’t turn to “negativity” when he is not doing what you expect either like you did in your first post, as it seems important to you to not “allow negativity” in your life. Best wishes.

Calling yourself a power couple does remain ridiculous, though. 

Post # 52
Member
7268 posts
Busy Beekeeper

 

OP…when 100% of your readers interpret what you wrote the same way, that is not a reflection on their reading comprehension, it is a reflection on your writing ability.

As for the elaborate party, sounds nice, but not enough IMO to make up for the years of issues you described. My shitty ex through me an elaborate going away party when I moved away. There were like 25 people there at a fancy bar and it was awesome. It almost made me want to give him another chance. But you know what, throwing a fancy party for me was nice but it didn’t suddenly turn him into a non asshole…he still couldnt communicate, was a gas-lighter, and didn’t make me a priority in his every day life. 

Post # 53
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Holy over compensation, Batman!

 

Post # 54
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
princesspea77 :  I think everyone needs to accept you are rude and delusional and move on with their lives.

Power couple my ass. 😂

Post # 55
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
tiffanybruiser :  lol, maybe we all suffered from the same mass hallucination when we read her initial post

the one where she said her boyfriend had another girlfriend for at LEAST the first year and a bit of their relationship and she had no idea

or how he made plans with the other girlfriend on OPs birthday two years ago

or he couldn’t celebrate her next birthday because he’d broken up with his other girlfriend and was sad (boo hoo, couldn’t have his cake and eat it too)

but at least he threw her a big fancy party! #truepowercouple.

Ah well, if she’s happy then that’s all that matters…. I’d be running for the hills but it’s not my life

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