Post # 1
For Mother’s Day, SO spent it with his mom, plus SO’s brother+bro’s live-in girlfriend.
<div>SO invited me at the last minute but knew since I’m an only child I’m spending it with my parents. (I missed mother’s day last year b/c of SO’s friend’s bridal shower and missed father’s day last year because SO and I were at friend’s wedding).</div>
<div>I’m a bit jealous that his brother’s live-in girlfriend got to go to their mother’s day brunch, and a little irrationally left out. She gets 100% of her boyfriend’s time, a puppy, an apartment she’s paying for the both of them to live.</div>
<div>Me? I live alone in a 1-bedroom apartment, SO’s studying for a licensing exam living with his mom to save money, I’m trying to get a better job (mine’s fine as is, but y’know, progress. Plus I’m a sounding board for my mom b/c my cousin has cancer and everyone’s on edge.</div>
<div>Tl;dr: how do I stop feeling slightly jealous of SO’s brother’s live-in girlfriend who has a puppy, lives with him, and is overall happier than I’ll ever be (right now)? I feel like I’m in extended purgatory. Plus I’m turning 30 in a few months and all my friends are trying for kids next year (they asked me when I’m getting married so they could try for kids afterward). X/</div>
Post # 2
carmensandiego38 : You need to stop comparing, it won’t make you any happier.
The mothers day brunch – you chose to spend time with your own mum, why bother caring who the brothers Girlfriend spent it with?
Why can’t your Boyfriend or Best Friend move in with you? Are there actual reasons stopping this or does he just talk around it?
Post # 3
It sounds like you have a lot of underlying frustrations with your relationship so every little thing that doesn’t go exactly as you envisioned (i.e. spending mothers day together) hurts that much worse. But you need to focus on the underlying issue with YOUR relationship (aka why dont you live together? why do you feel like you’re in an extended purgatory and what concrete steps can you take to get out of limbo?) rather than superfluous and completely irrelevant details like how your SO’s brother’s relationship is with his live-in gf, or which friends of yours are trying for babies.
Post # 4
carmensandiego38 : Comparison is the killer of happiness. Focus on how you want to feel, rather than what you don’t have. Cherish the moments and if you’re meant to have the ring, the house, the marriage – but you need to let go and sit back, and allow things to happen. x
Post # 6
slomotion : I’m allergic to dogs ;(((( (severe wheezing). Might get a cat sometime though….
Post # 7
Post # 8
You are only in race against yourself in this life, no one else. And if you are really going to marry this man, you are going to spend the next 40+ years living with him, assuming you all live to a ripe old age. What’s the difference if someone else does it 2 or so years ahead of you? Why do you care so much? Take your time to do things right – you only get this one life.
Post # 9
You can never know how happy someone is. I would focus on making the most of your current circumstances. If you live life like that, you’ll be happy in any circumstance. If you think the next stage will make you happier, you will never really reach happiness. It’s like chasing a mirage, and a complete paradox.
Also, when other people have good or nice things, feel happy for them. The same way you would like people to feel for you.
Hope that helps with your mindset! And you never know how quickly life can change. The first year we were married, Darling Husband and I lived in a no-dog apartment. One day there was a notice that they allowed dogs and within a few weeks we adopted the sweetest pup. If you are missing out on puppy love, volunteer at a shelter. No reason why your life right now can’t be sweet. People down the line look back all the time at premarriage, no-kids freedom, so live it up while you’re there.
Post # 10
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
Comparison always will make you unhappy. You have to learn to be happy with yourself and your journey Start practicing yoga or writing what you’re thankful for in a journal.
Post # 11
kaotoo3391 : 😍😍😍 puppy!
Seriously OP, I agree with
tiffanybruiser : sounds like there are a lot of underlying issues in your relationship that are sparking some emotions when other people progress in their lives and relationships. When we are truly happy and content with where we are at, what is happening around us doesn’t take away from that feeling. Sounds to me like you’re not happy with your SO and where you guys are headed.
Where specifically are you headed? What aren’t you happy with now? What can you do about it? What do you want in your furure? How can you achieve it? These are some of the questions you need to be asking yourself.