Slightly jealous…coping techniques?

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
741 posts
Busy bee

carmensandiego38 :  You need to stop comparing, it won’t make you any happier. 

The mothers day brunch – you chose to spend time with your own mum, why bother caring who the brothers Girlfriend spent it with?

Why can’t your Boyfriend or Best Friend move in with you? Are there actual reasons stopping this or does he just talk around it?

Post # 3
Member
7816 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

It sounds like you have a lot of underlying frustrations with your relationship so every little thing that doesn’t go exactly as you envisioned (i.e. spending mothers day together) hurts that much worse. But you need to focus on the underlying issue with YOUR relationship (aka why dont you live together? why do you feel like you’re in an extended purgatory and what concrete steps can you take to get out of limbo?) rather than superfluous and completely irrelevant details like how your SO’s brother’s relationship is with his live-in gf, or which friends of yours are trying for babies.

Post # 4
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

carmensandiego38 :  Comparison is the killer of happiness. Focus on how you want to feel, rather than what you don’t have. Cherish the moments and if you’re meant to have the ring, the house, the marriage – but you need to let go and sit back, and allow things to happen. x

Post # 5
Member
9805 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Get a puppy too.

Post # 7
Member
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

carmensandiego38 :   Having a puppy is great for about 30 minutes a day.  I had my husband buy me one a couple months ago and I’m exhausted.  We never fight and we have had screaming matches over the puppy at 4 am.  I’m sleep deprived, frustrated and exhausted.  What looks like heaven on Facebook could really be closer to hell in real life.  It’s more useful to work on ways to improve various aspects of your own life, than to be jealous of what you think someone else’s life is.  Here’s some pictures of my puppy that I put on my Facebook.  What you don’t see is her pooping in the house, relentlessly biting my hand, attacking our other dog and barking until she gets what she wants.

Post # 8
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

You are only in race against yourself in this life, no one else. And if you are really going to marry this man, you are going to spend the next 40+ years living with him, assuming you all live to a ripe old age. What’s the difference if someone else does it 2 or so years ahead of you? Why do you care so much? Take your time to do things right – you only get this one life. 

Post # 9
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You can never know how happy someone is. I would focus on making the most of your current circumstances. If you live life like that, you’ll be happy in any circumstance. If you think the next stage will make you happier, you will never really reach happiness. It’s like chasing a mirage, and a complete paradox.

Also, when other people have good or nice things, feel happy for them. The same way you would like people to feel for you.

Hope that helps with your mindset! And you never know how quickly life can change. The first year we were married, Darling Husband and I lived in a no-dog apartment. One day there was a notice that they allowed dogs and within a few weeks we adopted the sweetest pup. If you are missing out on puppy love, volunteer at a shelter. No reason why your life right now can’t be sweet. People down the line look back all the time at premarriage, no-kids freedom, so live it up while you’re there.

Post # 10
Member
2559 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

Comparison always will make you unhappy. You have to learn to be happy with yourself and your journey smile Start practicing yoga or writing what you’re thankful for in a journal. 

Post # 11
Member
434 posts
Helper bee

kaotoo3391 :  😍😍😍 puppy! 

Seriously OP, I agree with 

tiffanybruiser :  sounds like there are a lot of underlying issues in your relationship that are sparking some emotions when other people progress in their lives and relationships. When we are truly happy and content with where we are at, what is happening around us doesn’t take away from that feeling. Sounds to me like you’re not happy with your SO and where you guys are headed. 

Where specifically are you headed? What aren’t you happy with now? What can you do about it? What do you want in your furure? How can you achieve it? These are some of the questions you need to be asking yourself. 

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