(Closed) Slightly sad but still happy overall!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee

How long have you been together and how old are you? Just asking because 5 years seems alot. But if your happy…then it will be worth the wait right?

Post # 5
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re totally right!  You should focus on the relationship and make it better. // I think you’ll have to let him warm up to the idea on his own.  No suggestions or hints!  It’ll be hard but you’re going to have to try.  And, give yourself an invisible deadline; one that is there but not written in stone.  You don’t want to wait years and years for an engagement but you don’t want to rush it either. 

Post # 6
Member
6247 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Just curious, what was his reasoning?  Is the relationship too new?  Is it financial?  Is he waiting for a more stable career?

Post # 7
Member
16 posts
Newbee

@Loveispatient:  I think 26 is where it really starts to get to you!  (At least in my case – I’m 26 too.)  It sounds like you really love him, so maybe take some time to see how it goes?  I like the idea of an invisible deadline – even if it’s not “if we’re not engaged by this time I’m leaving” but more like, “if this isn’t brought up again or he hasn’t proposed by this time, I need to have a serious talk with him and then start making decisions for myself.” 

Good luck!!

Post # 8
Member
347 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

this is your life he is making decisions about, if you dont agree with a 5 year wait, find a happy medium and compromise. it sounds like hes leading and youre following along with what he wants, when you dont agree with his timeframe. its okay to speak up and disagree.

Post # 9
Member
4476 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I think a year of dating is a good amount of time to open the discussion and at least know what to expect.  If you would be happy waiting, say, 2 years, that would be good for him to know.  If he knows what to expect from you, that could maybe help you guys decide on a timeline that makes both of you happy

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