(Closed) Small budget brides – worried about wedding looking “cheap”?? Or just me????

posted 11 years ago in Money
  • poll: My dessert only reception - bad idea????

    YES!! Get someone to cater heavy hors d'oeuvres AT LEAST.

    Stop being a ninny and stick to your original plan.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1011 posts
    Bumble bee

    You shouldn’t worry about your guests.  Remember, your DJ didn’t get an invitation.  I think he was just hoping to get fed in addition to his fee!  Nothing wrong with a dessert reception.  I think ultimately, you’ll be better off sticking with your original plan.  You’ll be less likely to want to “keep up with the Jones” later in your married life.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: Private home

    Honestly, if it weren’t for my finace’s grandfather needing to be back on his dialysis machine by 8pm, I would have totally done what you’re doing!  Yes, we’re doing a buffet and cake, but think more lunch than dinner.  I think a dessert reception is a wonderful idea and it takes a lot of pressure off the event to be “a meal” for everyone.  Stick to your guns and know that you’re doing what’s best for you!

    Post # 19
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee

    You shouldn’t have to go into debt to get married! If this is what you can afford, this is what you should do. I would just make it clear on the invitation that it’s a dessert reception so that people know to eat ahead of time.

    If you have a website, you could even put together a list of suggested restaurants for people to grab dinner before the wedding.

    Post # 21
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    We did a dessert only reception last month and it was beautiful. We borrowed glass ware from friends and family. We put fruit in apothocary jars, lemon bites on cake plates, etc. I think if you make it visually interesting, you won’t have anything to worry about. Just remember to put food at different height levels and in pretty containers. I’m sure it will be fabulous!

    Post # 22
    Member
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    I understand money doesn’t grow on trees and applaud you for refusing to go into debt – but I wanted to point out that by the time your reception rolls around and people actually get to start eating, they will have missed a full meal and will be hungry. Desserts are a really sweet idea (no pun intended), but not everyone likes them to begin with and eating them on an empty stomach might make people feel a little queasy. Can you do mostly desserts but maybe like 1 filling non-desert option (like cheese and crackers)? That would be my only suggestion.

    Otherwise, sounds like a great and fun idea!!

    Post # 23
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Screw your DJ! he probably just hasn’t seen anything like this.

    Dessert reception sounds yummy! Personally, cakes and candies and yummies galore sound more exciting than chicken =]

    Post # 24
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    I think this sounds great! In fact, I have a couple of suggestions about your “labor” problem:

    Find a nearby college (you’re in ATL, so you’ve got quite a few to choose from!) that has a food science/culinary/food program and see if any of the students are willing to work for you/if the school has a program in place. Someone I know had a catered dinner from a high school culinary program at their wedding–and it was FANTASTIC!

    Post # 25
    Member
    2408 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @laylabelle, i wouldn’t worry about it! the amount of money poured into a function does not correlate to it’s “cheapness” factor. i’ve seen plenty of big ticket parties that looked cheap!

    if you need more assurances, check out mrs. blueberry’s wedding. she also did a dessert reception and it looked so yummy! it can be done classily and on budget. you don’t need to spend tons of money to have a wonderful time!

    you can check out the rest of her posts here.

    good luck!

    Post # 26
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    We were considering a dessert reception, this is becoming pretty common. You’ve printed it on the invitations, so people are aware of what they’ll be offered. Anyone that isn’t down with what you’re doing can choose not to attend. I’ve had some horrified reactions at a couple of my wedding plans, but frankly those people can pound sand. If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.

    Post # 27
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2020 - Our home and the two acres it sits on

    I agree.  Stick it out.  In fact, I was given the same advice when I asked that question last Spring, and whether or not you think ours looked “cheap,” none of our friends or family did (or said anything) and we were very happy with it.  Things I worried about — paper napkins, bottles of beer, “simple” food — turned out to be absolutely 100% okay.  If you want me to, I’ll hunt down that post, just let me know.

    Post # 28
    Member
    2828 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Your budget is the same as mine [well the same as my MAX, hopefully I can go under].

    I don’t think that if you take care to make things look nice [via arrangement not pocketbook] that you’ll be ok.

     

    Why would anyone judge you? If it’s a small budget then I assume it’s a small invite list filled with the closest family and friends; if this is the case these people love you dearly and are there to celebrate in your happiness, not how much you spent.

    Post # 30
    Member
    4485 posts
    Honey bee

    If you want a dessert reception, then have one. There is no need to go into debt to impress other people who have high-maintenance standards. Anyone who says a dessert reception cannot be elegant under any circumstance has either never seen one in person or has only ever seen them sloppily put together. If you see chcolate/dessert buffets at upscale hotels, those are not cheap nor cheap-looking at all. Or browse dessert buffets on Flickr. An equal number of those are probably low-budget but you can’t tell by looking at them what the host’s budget was. If someone seriously gets upset because you aren’t serving a full meal or heavy appetizers, then they can stay home. Don’t most people say that ‘everyone loves desserts’? So why throw a hissy fit over it? People have dessert receptions all the time and there is nothing wrong with that. Full meals are not done everywhere and not everyone can afford that, and they are actually fairly new when you really stop to think about it, contrary to popular belief. The people who love you won’t care won’t care what you’re serving. At a non-meal time, no one eats a full meal anyway so it’s not an issue.

    For what it’s worth, I have been to more dessert receptions than I can count since that is the only type of reception my family does for weddings. Full meals are considered extravagant so no one does those. For whatever reason I couldn’t tell you, they always serve dessert at the usual dinner hour. My family is used to that. Obviously other people wouldn’t like it with good reason but then other folks say they eat dinner when it gets to be anywhere from 8pm-midnight on a regular basis and don’t find that unusual while the majority may find that odd. Everyone is different. That said, while they are cute, I personally am burnt out on dessert receptions and they aren’t novel to me at all because they’re so commonplace in my experience, while to someone else, it’s something they may think exists only in magazines and not real life or something that their grandparents and parents talked about seeing but you may not think people actually do anymore. But if I were to have a dessert reception, plan it for 7:30pm or later or else mid-afternoon because that is when most folks are actually done eating dinner. And whatever you do, make a note on the reception card telling people what to expect so they don’t show up anticipating something that won’t be there.

     

    Post # 31
    Member
    1454 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    The only thing that I worried about was doing a dessert-only reception at dinnertime. But then I read that you did it at the right time- so go for it! That gives family and friends an excuse to go out to eat and have fun BEFORE the wedding too. I worry about looking cheap, but then think, my guests should KNOW me and Fiance, know that we are just starting out, KNOW our situations and not expect anything but what we have. Maybe a guest’s guest will be like, “this is tacky” but do you really care? Everyone YOU care about will be really excited. And I’m DROOLING just thinking about it!

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