(Closed) small ceremony, big reception…can it be done?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
773 posts
Busy bee

I’m pretty sure there’s no polite way to invite some guests to one event and not the other.  If you were having a destination wedding and at-home reception it would be ok, but I’d be pretty offended if I was only invited to part of the wedding.

Post # 4
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

That kind of depends… if there was a gap longer than say, three hours it might be acceptable. But even so, what if the others found out?!? I would be so worried about that! I might suggest either you hold the ceremony another day or much earlier, then do a night reception if you realllllyyyyy want to make it work though.

Post # 5
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I would be offended (and probably would not attend either event) if I were invited to the reception and not the ceremony.

Post # 7
Bee
1048 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009 - City Hall

Yeah, I’d say that the only way to do this is if your ceremony is UBER small, like ours. People understand "just parents". Basically it’s like "check yourself. if you are not our mom or dad, you are not coming to the ceremony. dont be offended, just have fun at the reception."

Post # 8
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t think it’s much of a problem.  My fiance’s mom even mentioned that some people won’t even go to the ceremony, even if they’re invited, that they just go to the reception.  I would just use the size of your venue as an excuse. 

Post # 9
Member
2324 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I am shocked that I’m in the minority on this one, but I’d be ok with only being invited to the reception. It’s not like you’re inviting me to the ceremony, but not the dinner. 

Post # 10
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2009

This is pretty common practice for the state that I am getting married in.  This is due to a major religion there where the ceremonies are held in temples where only members of the religion can attend.  Even though I do not belong to the religion I am choosing to limit the number of people invited to the ceremony.  My choice is also due to the venue size for the ceremony.  I am handling the invite by having the main invitation worded as an invitation for the reception and then including a separate ceremony insert for those that are invited to the ceremony.  It may be accepted in my home town because so many people are used to it.  I am surprised to see that so many would be offended.

Post # 11
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

We are actually doing this. Only immediate family and grandparents for the ceremony and everyone for the reception later. I don’t feel bad about it…we’re sort of treating the reception as a family reunion/picnic. It’s not wedding centered and doesn’t have all the wedding traditions. If guests are so offended they won’t come, they’d probably find something else wrong with your day….so I wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 12
Member
1023 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think we’re going to rely on word of mouth since 95% of the guests are family.

Post # 15
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yeah, I think this is perfectly acceptable. Just be wary of people showing up early to the reception as the ceremony is ending.

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