(Closed) Small Children

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should we proceed with the best man's kid scenario?
    Go with FI's approach- just be blunt : (21 votes)
    41 %
    Write specific names on the invitation, they'll call if they have questions : (10 votes)
    20 %
    If I were the mother of those children, I'd be offended because dad is the best man : (1 votes)
    2 %
    If I were the mother of those children, I'd understand that some people want an adult evening : (19 votes)
    37 %
    Other (explain) : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    8576 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Similiar situation to you.. only have 2 kids at my wedding, both of which are in the wedding party.

    We are simply addressing the invitation to “Mr & Mrs Smith” and on our rsvp card adding, “2 seats have been reserved in your honor”.


    Post # 4
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I told all of the Moms invited to our wedding that it was an adults-only event, so there were no surprises. Note: unfortunately, I didn’t say no drama (family drama, no less.)

    Worse case scenario: Mrs. Best Man may be pissed, and say “well then I’m not coming to the wedding, and hubby, you shouldn’t be in it.”  Hopefully this won’t be the case, but if you’re having an evening wedding, she should realize it’s not uncommon for younger children not to be extended invitations.

    Post # 5
    311 posts
    Helper bee

    Personally, I found with my close friends, I just called them up before the invites went out to let them know we weren’t having kids. Many of them live in different cities and had to make travel arrangements/ accomodatings.  That way I could sort of “soften” the blow and discuss directly with them our reasons if they had questions.  Generally I found that they reacted quite well and there hasn’t been any “buzz” about it since.  It might also take the sting out if they have LOTS of time to make plans for babysitters ect, as opposed to feeling blind sided closer to.  And it might be awkward if they talk about the wedding and assume the kids are involved for the next while, when you know they won’t be coming – you’ll make yourself crazy!

    Post # 6
    406 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Do you have a wedding website you could make a note on?

    Post # 7
    11418 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    I am a very strong advocate of the use of inner envelopes and of addressing all envelopes in a formal manner to help avoid any confusion.

    If a couple receives an invitation where the outer envelope is addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. John Edward Doe,” and the inner envelope is addressed to “Mr. and Mrs. Doe,” it is very unlikely that this couple will make the leap to presume that little Jack, Jill, and Jennifer Doe also are being included in that invitation.

    I should add that I personally am NOT a fan the “_____ seats have been reserved in your honor” language, because, by saying this, you are implying that two seats literally have been reserved for this couple.  That could inadvertently suggest to some people that, if one of the guests being invited is unable to attend, the other original invitee might be able to bring along another guest in the original guest’s place.


    Post # 8
    46590 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would prefer to discuss the issue with them in person-failing that on the phone.

    We just wanted to give you a heads up that we are having an adult wedding so that you have plenty of time to make arrangements for child care. We didn’t want to wait for you to receive the invitations and be the cause of any last minute stress.


    The topic ‘Small Children’ is closed to new replies.

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